Forgotten Faces

I rubbed my nose with another tissue. I wiped my eyes, moving tears that were no longer there. I bit down my lip for the thousandth time today.

I slowly re-adjusted myself on Josie's bed. She brought me to her house, not knowing where else to go.

I was content with where I was. I had no other place to go. My own home would be far too inconvenient for my parents. They would be so distraught with how I must've looked like. Josie just told me that I looked fine though. She was a bad liar.

I looked around her room again. It was quite plain actually. She mumbled something about in the middle of arguing with her mom to paint it and hang posters up.

I looked at her dresser. It was messy, full of different things. There were clothes, accessories, little mirrors, make-up, and all sorts of other things.

I could hear Josie walking back to her room, coming back for me. She opened the door and offered me a warm smile. I would've smiled back, but I wasn't entirely in the mood for it.

"So the parents aren't here, so lucky us, but the guys wanna hang out here. I'm not entirely sure, if you wanna see them though. Do you want me to go to Matt's instead?" she asked. I nodded.

I didn't want anyone, let alone Matt, to see me like this. I wasn't normal.

"Hey, you probably haven't eaten anything in a while. Do you want some pizza? I got like twenty bucks." Josie said, sitting down on her bean bag chair.

I shook my head slowly. I didn't have much of an appetite. I knew I'd regret not eating later, but for now I was sure it'd only end up out of my body.

I saw Josie start fidgeting. It looked like she was desperately trying to think of something to say to me. She ran her hands through her fingers. She stopped, once she saw me looking at her though.

I guessed as much that she didn't want to look like she was freaking out. She was a nice person, a decent person.

"So do you wanna talk about what happened?" she asked me. She quickly stood up and ran out the door.

"Shit!" I heard her yell.

I almost got up from her bed, but I reminded myself that it could be her parents getting home or something. I didn't want them seeing me. They'd probably throw me out.

I bit down on my lip. I felt bad. I didn't know her parents, and I just thought a bad thing about them.

I shook my head and scratched at my arms, not knowing what else to do in this kind of situation.

I heard loud footsteps coming to the door, and I half-expected to see an angry mom or dad open the door.

But it was just Josie again. Her face was a red color, and she started looking around like a mental person.

"Okay, so I kinda forgot to tell the guys to go to Matt's, and they came over here. So please don't kill me. I like living so far. So I'm kinda thinkin' that you should just stay in here. If you wanna go see them, you can though. I dunno. What do you wanna do?" she asked quickly.

I just sat there, trying to decipher what the girl just said to me. I stared at her, confused. She must've gotten that I had no idea what she said because she sat down next to me.

"Do you wanna just stay here for a while, while the people are here? You could take a nap or something," she said, smiling.

I nodded, deciding it was best to avoid all people at the moment. It was best for me. I was probably in one of those "fragile" states.

"Okay, so I'll just leave you here. I'll wake you up, when they leave. I'm pretty sure my mom can give you a ride home later too. Or you can spend the night. I got clothes that you can probably fit." Josie whispered.

I nodded again.

Josie stood up, glanced at me one more time, and then she walked out the door.

I could hear the guys laughing downstairs, and I wondered if I had made the right decision. Matt would probably cheer me up a lot actually. He was a nice guy.

I felt my cheeks redden, and I shook him out of my thoughts. I didn't need any boys in my life right now.

I was insecure, most likely had mental issues, and was scared of any kind of relationship. I did not need to get a boyfriend or anything like that. I would just be a complete burden.

Relationships would have to wait until I was stable.

I laid down on the bed, deciding that sleep was what I needed most at the moment. It would, hopefully, stop me from thinking more than I needed to.

I closed my eyes. I slowly let my thoughts stop completely, trying my best to think of absolutely nothing but sleep.

***

I was laughing with my friends, but my thoughts were stuck on something, someone else. I wasn't entirely sure why though.

Adriana. That girl intrigued me. She wasn't like most girls. She wasn't jumping around, pretending to be hyper. She wasn't random, screaming out the weirdest things, trying to be funny.

She said what she thought was best, I could tell. She almost seemed like she thought too much. Most girls had the issue of not thinking.

Thinking. That must be her downfall. She was probably insecure, really insecure. She probably wasn't so insecure about her looks so much as her personality though. She was pretty, adorable really.

She just had this invisible barrier around her that everyone could see. That's probably why she didn't have many friends. I was determined to break down her barrier though. It was my own silent personal goal as bad as it sounded.

"Aye! Matt, wake up!"

I looked over to Syn, who was smiling at me. I could tell what he was already thinking, so I just flipped him off.

"I'm on earth, okay?" I muttered. Syn just had that stupid ass grin on his face. I wanted to smack it right off his ugly mug.

"Matt's so smitten; it's fucking adorable." Johnny said. I rolled my eyes.

Even the short shit was making fun of me. Something needed to be done. What I wasn't sure yet, but it'd be damn good. I needed to make a fucking comeback already.

"Look, I'm just concerned for the girl. You guys saw how Justin was treating her," I yelled. "Hey, we technically didn't see shit. All we saw was her crying. We don't know a damn thing he may have done or said." Syn pointed out.

I grunted. I knew he was right. We didn't see shit happen. I still didn't like the crazy-ass grin Justin had on his face though. He was starting to creep me the fuck out.

I wanted to know what the hell was going on between them. I just didn't want to barge in family crap though. That was called rude. I wasn't normally the best behaved guy around, but I knew where I wasn't wanted.

Family issues was a touchy subject, and that's what I wanted to barge right into, when it came to Adriana. I had to be sensitive with this one. I was normally a sensitive kind of guy anyways.

I started playing with my lip rings, tasting the metal on my tongue.

"Hey, Matt. Can you come help me get some sodas from the basement?" Josie asked. I nodded.

I was raised to be a gentleman. Helping the ladies with any lifting wasn't something that a gentleman said no to. That's what being a jackass was.

I followed Josie to her basement. I never knew that she kept sodas in her basement. Well, I didn't even know if she had a basement honestly.

Josie suddenly stopped, making me stop in mid-step.

"Did you forget something?" I asked. She turned to face me. She looked rather serious.

She shook her head.

"Okay, Matt. You gotta promise me something, don't flip the fuck out, 'kay?" she asked quietly. I slowly nodded, but I knew that wasn't a promise I could always keep.

"Okay, so Adriana's kinda in my room." She said slowly. I could tell she was waiting to see my reaction.

I was freaking out on the inside. She wasn't at school today, and I was wondering what the hell happened with her.

"What's she doin' here?" I asked calmly. I had to keep up my promise.

"Well, I was walkin' home as usual and stuff, and then I just saw her. She was kinda just staring into space, so I walked to her and asked what was wrong. And she just started crying on me. So I brought her back here, but she won't really talk. She's in my room right now."

Before I knew it, I was already making my way to Josie's room. I could hear Josie trying her best to yell at me without being too loud. She must've gave up on stopping me 'cause I made it all the way to her room.

I opened the door slowly, thinking Adriana would probably be sleeping still. I was right.

She was lying on the bed with her mouth slightly open. Her black hair was messy, but it wasn't too bad. It had that messy but nice look many teenagers worked.

She had a thin red blanket on her that I recognized. Josie had stolen it from my house, saying it would look better on her bed than mine.

Now that I was in Josie's room, near Adriana, I wasn't sure what to do. She was sleeping for Christ's sake! It'd be rude of me to wake her up. That was an ass move.

I bit down on my lip hard, trying to decide what to do.

I slowly bent down, trying to look at her face some more. Her eyes looked slightly swollen. So she had cried like Josie said.

I felt myself frown. I wasn't sure what the fuck Justin did, but it wasn't right. No matter how much siblings fought, this had to be too much. I didn't think it was normal.

Adriana moved slightly, making me jump back. She groaned slightly, making me smile.

I could've slapped myself. I was only proving Syn and Johnny right. I was sure that she only intrigued me. There was attraction, sure, but that was never enough for a relationship.

Not to mention, that the girl could barely look at me. I was sure that I must've looked like some barbarian to her. She wasn't too small, but she wasn't entirely normal-sized. I was huge. I bet I just looked like a wall to her.

I felt a smile still on my face, and I couldn't help but look at her one more for, before deciding to leave the room.

Too bad I walked right into the fucking door.

***

I groaned, waking up to a loud noise. It sounded like someone dropped a textbook in an empty hallway.

I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. I could feel the small amounts of what many called "eye boogers" fall off my face.

I was surprised to see a shocked Matt standing near the door. He looked like a teenager who got caught stealing. It was almost amusing to me.

"Hi, Adriana. I kinda woke you up; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Kinda walked into the door," he explained. I nodded.

So he made the noise. I guessed that he couldn't be exactly perfect all around.

"So what are you doing here at Josie's?" he asked. I stared at him. He seemed uncomfortable.

He walked away from the door, and he leaned on one of the walls. He folded his arms over his chest like he was trying to hide himself from me.

"Did you come over here to wait for us to come over?" he asked. I shook my head slowly.

Something told me he knew I wasn't waiting for him. It was like he was playing dumb with me. I didn't like it. I wanted him to be straight forward with me.

"Just say what you want to," I said softly. He frowned and moved his arms to his sides, stuffing them into his front pockets of his jeans.

"Josie told me that she found you crying. What happened," he asked.

I looked down at my hands. So he knew.

"Yeah," I said. I didn't want to say any more than I had to. I didn't think telling anyone what had happened would be the best thing. Justin would just be in trouble. I didn't need that on my conscience.

"Was it Justin again?" he asked. I just shrugged.

"You know you can tell me anything. I'll understand. I'll try my best; I promise. I mean you can leave out huge chunks. I don't need to know anything you don't want me to. You can even shut me up right now, and I'd still be here for you."

"I just wanna understand you more. You're like some puzzle I can't solve. I know almost nothing about you. I know Justin's your brother, that he must be mean to you, and that you like Sherbet ice cream."

"I just want to get to know you more."

"Matt, I don't really want to talk about it." I mumbled. He nodded slowly.

"I'll back off. I just don't like seeing you sad. I wanna see a smile on your face all the time. I like it, when you're happy."

I could've died right then and there. I looked down, trying to avoid his face or body. I could feel my whole body reacting.

"I-I'll try," I said softly. "Good, now do you wanna go hang out with everyone?" Matt asked.

I could hear him walking towards me.

"No, I'm okay. I think I need to think a bit more," I mumbled. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

I bit down on my lip. I looked up at him. He was right in front of me.

He looked so tall and strong.

He smiled, and his dimples showed. I couldn't help but think about how adorable he really was. I didn't understand how he wanted to be around someone like me. I was someone with an annoying presence.

All I ever did was make him worried about me.

"If you want to," I said, looking back down. "Good, 'cause I want to."

Matt sat down next to me on the bed, and I could feel my nerves acting up. I moved myself, so I was leaning against the wall. I was behind Matt.

I was staring at his back, and I was starting to feel like a creeper.

Matt turned around to look at me and smiled. He backed up and leaned on the wall with me. His hands were casually folded on his legs.

"Do you think a lot?" he asked me. I nodded slowly.

"Thinking is good, but sometimes thinking too much can just hurt yourself. I dunno. I don't like thinking for hours by myself. It kinda gets depressing, you know? It's almost like I go looking for reasons to hate myself."

I nodded slowly. At least someone got it.

"Which is why I talk so damn much. I can hear, when I start pitying myself. Then I can just hit myself and get over it. Well me or Syn anyways," he said, laughing.

"Does he hit you a lot?" I asked. He nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, I think he goes looking for reasons to hit me though. He's kind of a douche sometimes, but it works for him. He's lucky that he's so damn talented or I would've kicked his ass such a long time ago." He chuckled.

"You know, Adriana? You're a cool chick. I like you. You make me feel comfortable. Not too many girls can do that," he said, smiling.

I smiled back at him, but I quickly removed it from my face. He was making me far too happy. I wasn't supposed to start liking any guys.

"Do you like me? You know as a person," he asked.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I closed it. Matt was looking at me so intently, I felt my cheeks go red. I quickly looked back down to my hands.

He was making me feel uncomfortable, insecure.

"I can understand, if you think I talk too much. I mean, I am the only saying anything right now. Maybe I should just shut up." He mumbled.

I shook my head.

"No, I like it, when you talk. You kind of make me stop thinking so much. It helps," I said softly. I smiled at him again.He smiled back.

"This is nice. We're bonding," he said.