Blood Soaked Black Rose

Fire

The Next Day
I woke up to find that Fire and I were the only ones left in the room. I looked at him. He smiled at me and continued writing in a black composition book. He was so beautiful. I wanted to know him better. Maybe he’d be better than Jaidee.
“What’re you writing?”
“Oh, I keep a journal.” He blushed.
“Cool. I write lyrics and songs. I don’t have my guitar though.”
“Oh, well Xander has one in his office.” I nodded.
“So where are Taylar and Skye?”
“Group. They are in the manic depression/bipolar group. Skye’s bipolar. I’m schizophrenic. My adoptive parents put me in here when I was only twelve. They are great, really. I’m seventeen now and I love it here. What about you?”
“Same. Schizophrenic. My stepdad put me in here.” I played with my bracelet not wanting to ever make eye contact. I heard him set his stuff down and he sat on the bed next to me.
“So, so you hear voices too?” I nodded. “And they make you do things and no matter what, you can’t do anything about it?” I nodded. He looked at the ground. “It's hard. My family doesn’t come see me much. Only on my birthday and holidays. Skye and Taylar are lucky. They get visits all the time. Like every day. Wow.” He breathed.
“What?”
“It’s great that I finally have someone I can talk to that gets it. I don’t know of any others here that are like us. It’s really annoying. Most of the patients here are coming off suicide watch. They usually leave. Some like Taylar don’t, but hey.” He played with his shoelace. “I like Taylor.” I nodded.
“Me too. She’s pretty.”
“Are you straight?”
“Bi.”
“I’m bi too.” He smiled. There’s this girl, Kiki that I dated awhile back here. She’s really pretty. She got released though after a year. I miss her sometimes, but I have Skye now and Taylar’s great to talk to.” He stopped and stared into my eyes. “You have something in your eyes that I can’t really understand. Like pain and fear.”
“Oh…uh, I was abused and raped for a long time.” He nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” A guy came in wearing a shirt that said ‘Black Springs Mental Institution Staff’ on it. Fire looked at him and bit his lip looking down.
“Hi, um, Jay.” He muttered.
“Hey Fire! How are you doing?” He asked pulling a tray on a trolley in the door.
“Uh…I’m okay I guess.”
“How about you Kyler?” I glanced at him and nodded.
“You kids ready for you medication? Juice?” Fire shuddered and took the cup of juice from Jay’s hand. He handed me mine and I sipped it. Jay closed the door and picked up a syringe with the biggest needle I had ever seen on it. Fire looked terrified. “You gonna do this for me today? Or am I gonna need to restrain you again?” Jay said his voice soft, yet stern.
“I…I’ll try.”
“You know this wouldn’t be necessary if you just swallowed the medicine. If you would just take it.” Jay handed me a cup of pills. I took them. “Will you please excuse us?” I nodded and left the room. I sat outside the door waiting. I heard Fire scream, then Jay saying,
“I’m so proud of you! You did it yourself! This is great. I’m glad you held still and we didn’t have to use any restrains. See you at noon.” Jay came out and I was allowed to go in. Fire was laying on his stomach with tears streaming down your face.
“Are you okay?” I asked. Fire nodded brushing away the tears.
“I can’t stand it.” He whispered.
“What?”
“I have to get shots here,” He pouted to his bottom. “with that needle because Derek won’t let me swallow the pills and most times they have to restrain me because Karen makes me fight it. It hurts a lot. I have to get shots three times a day.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t need to ask who Derek and Karen were. I already knew.
“It’s not your fault. I guess your voices don’t fight the meds.”
“Well yeah, they do, but I fucking pissed at them at the moment so I tell them to shut and up and the swallow the pills.” He nodded. A few minutes later Skye and Taylar walked in the room laughing. Skye immediately went to comfort Fire. I looked at Taylar.
“How you doing kid?”
“Okay.” I whispered. She sat down next to me and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
“You don’t seem fine. Do you have to get meds the same way as Fire?” I shook my head.
“I miss my brother.”
“I’m sorry.”
“The last time I saw him was a week ago.” She nodded and I could feel Skye looking at me. I felt all of them looking at me. I hated people looking at me. I instinctively put my hair in my face and pulled my hoodie up, crossed my arms tightly against my chest and rocked back and forth. I laid down on my bed and fell asleep.
I was awakened to someone shaking me awake. I looked up and saw Fire. “You ready to go to group?”
“Uh…sure.” I followed him to the office and sat down waiting for it to start. Dr. Xander came in and smiled at us.
“Are you two having a good day?” I shrugged keeping my eyes on the floor.
“Oh, well it’s okay. Guess what? I actually got the shot today without having to be restrained!” Fire smiled. “And I’m still not sure about the whole Skye situation.”
“Kyler, do you want something?” Dr. Xander looked at me. I lifted my eyes to his desk and nodded. “Your guitar? Your brother brought it by along with a few things. He wants to see you.” I smiled slightly and a nurse showed me to where Zakky was sitting with Matthew who was holding Kryssi who was sleeping. Zakky hugged me.
“Is it okay here? I hope it’s not too bad.”
“It’s fine.” I said. I played with Kryssi for awhile while he talked to me about random things like how money was still not going well. He missed me. Emily was asking about me. J.D. and Aaron were engaged. Addie and Sean were still together. Will was handling losing Liam well.
“I guess it’s because he hadn't been Liam for a few months.” I looked up and stared at Zakky.
“How’d you know it was months?” I whispered.
“Oh come on. You came over and you didn’t seem right. You won’t talk to him or about him. You sometimes would look so scared. Ky, I know these things.” He took Kryssi who had started fussing. Matthew still hadn't said anything.
“It must be hard. I mean, I know I make a lot of videos and stuff. Hey, I should make one on mental illnesses and abuse!” His voice seemed hyper, but something about it was sad. I smiled at him. What was it about him that was so lovable. Everything I guess. The fact that he made Zakky smile was just an added bonus. I missed Eddie. He and Zakky were good together. They didn’t have arguments very often. At least that’s what I thought. But I never remembered Zakky being very happy. He was always trying to be what people wanted him to be. With Matt, he was.
“Zakky?”
“What?”
”Um, can you take me with you in a month? Xander said that’s how long I have to stay here, but I can leave to go do things with you. Even now. please?”
“Uh…okay.” He smiled at me. Kryssi was cooing as she fell back asleep. I loved her so much.
“I have to go.” I muttered looking at where Fire stood smiling.
“Oh, well have fun.” Zakky said hugging me.