Remembering Sunday

The nearest CVS Pharmacy was right in town, but I still drove instead of walking. It would be embarrassing if I had been walking and just suddenly got sick again.

I rushed into the store, my eyes darting for the hanging sign that marked where the tests were. Upon finding the sign dangling above the ninth aisle, I zipped towards it and began to scan the tests. There was a woman with blonde colored hair and a slightly petite frame already in that aisle, maybe about twenty-eight years old, looking at a First Response pregnancy test. My cheeks heated up as I stood near her, feeling silly for looking at tests when I was so young. My fingers were shaking as I pulled one box off the shelf to examine it. After you pissed on it, the negative sign showed that you were not pregnant, and the plus sign showed you that you were pregnant. Seemed simple enough, but I wasn't sure how reliable that brand was. I tucked it back into the shelf where I had picked it up and continued to scan the tests. There was a tension bubbling around me all because of my clueless and indecisive ways, causing the woman to look up at me.

"Excuse me, miss?" she asked. I turned my head to face her, the blood draining from my face.

"Yes?" I asked in my most casual voice possible. It was pretty hard to remain casual when you were standing in a drug store, looking at pregnancy tests at eighteen, and just trying to decide which test to piss on and see what your fate was.

"Would you like some help?" she asked sweetly, a nice smile appearing. I felt a wave of relief crash onto me, and instead of a reply, I just nodded my head eagerly and sighed. She smiled a bit wider at my relief and handed me the First Response test she'd had in her hand.

"Try this one. I used this one when I was expecting my first. It's pretty reliable, if you ask me. Are you expecting your first?" she asked politely.

"I thi- . . . I, um, I'm not sure," I replied weakly, forcing a smile before turning my eyes onto the pregnancy test.

"You're awfully young to be having a baby," she stated.

"I know," I said quietly, feeling a new wave of tears coming on. Damn.

"Oh, I see. It's like that. Well, um, if you do end up expecting and need help, I'll be glad to. My name's Peggy." She extended he hand out to me.

"I'm Laura," I said as I took her hand. "Thank you."

"It's no problem." Peggy reached into her Coach bag on her arm and retrieved a pen and a piece of scrap paper. "Here's my number, if you are interested in help. I needed help with my first, and I was glad I got some. It's a bit intimidaing, but don't worry. Everything will be okay."

I took the piece of paper from Peggy after she finished writing down her number and stuffed it into my pocket for safekeeping. I smiled at her again, feeling truly grateful to have met her. I just wished that I wouldn't end up pregnant. What would happen if I was? There was no way Seth and I would be able to handle it. I sighed and examined the pregnancy test carefully, reading and rereading what information the box supplied. I looked back up at Peggy just as she pulled another First Response off the shelf.

"Well, I'd better get going," I began.

"I'm leaving too. Come to the register with me?" she offered.

"Sure," I replied, feeling a bit more relief. Now was my chance to ask questions. We wandered to the front registers with the pregnancy tests in hand, my heart just a little off of its regular beat from the nerves. We got in line behind two other customers, and I immediately turned to Peggy.

"What's it like? The whole . . . pregnancy, thing?" I asked. Peggy smiled.

"It's wonderful. I'm not gonna lie, but it can be painful. First time mothers usually have a rough time with birth, but don't worry, it's really not as bad as it seems. Once the baby's born, well, your life changes completely, but in an amazing way. You have a family, and that's what stunned me most of all," she replied.

"How old is your first child?" I asked.

"He's three. His name is Timmy, and he's quite a handful. That's another thing about it. When they grow up, oh gosh, they're off their rockers! You have to hide any breakable items that you normally wouldn't have. Even when they're under two months old, you should still hide important items."

"Oh, wow. I didn't know that drastic of measures had to be taken."

"Well, naturally, it has to be done. It can be intimidating, but it's truly worth it. May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Was this, well, planned? I don't mean to be rude, but it still amazes me that you're so young and going for this. Unless you're older than I think you are?"

"No, I'm still plenty young. I'm only eighteen, and, well, this was . . . um . . .sort of . . . unplanned." I managed to get the words out, but just knowing what I just said killed me and formed another lump in my throat.

"Oh, okay. I was just curious. Does your mom know about it?" Peggy asked. I knew she wasn't trying to be nosy or rude, but just caring about the situation. In response to her question, I shook my head. She nodded in understanding.

"Well, if you are pregnant, you're probably going to want to go to your mother first. She could help you greatly with this whether you realize it or not. She's your best call," Peggy said.

If only she knew the truth.

"I know, thanks," I said. The customers in front of us had finished checking out, so I stepped forward and placed the test down to be scanned. The employee eyes me oddly, as if to ask what I was doing with this at such a young age. I sighed and lookd away until the item was rung up before shoving the twenty dollar bill I had at the employee. All I wanted to do was go home, get this over with, and go on with my life. That is, only if the test showed that I was not pregnant. If I was, then my life wasn't going much of anywhere.

The employee handed me my bag, and I offered a quick smile in a thanks.

"I'll see you later, Peggy. Even if I'm not pregnant, I'll give you a call. Thanks for all your help," I said politely before dismissing myself.

"It's no problem. Good luck, Laura. I'll see you later!" she
replied, and with that, I smiled at her, turned around, and left CVS. Now to get home and let this pee stick decide my fucking fate.

Seth was still gone when I got back home.

There was no trace of anything moved or touched, so I assumed he was still out wherever it was that he had been. I sighed and dimmed the lights, turned the television on, and wandered into the bathroom. The noise coming from the television comforted me, letting me know that technically I wasn't alone at nine-thirty at night. My prayers were that Seth wasn't out at some party drinking his ass off to relieve himself and that I'd finally settle that I wasn't pregnant once and for all.

After properly using the pregnancy test, I left it on the sink counter for a bit so it could do its magic. In the meantime, I walked to the bedroom and threw on a pair of navy sweats and a white tank top. Those were good enough pajamas for me, even when I looked in the full-length mirror to admire my stomach. I stood sideways, my fingers running over my stomach, feeling the small bump that had always been there. I frowned. Had it gotten bigger?

I slammed the closet door shut, afraid to look and see my stomach again. I had to be just being paranoid, but at the same time I was scared stiff. I exited the bedroom, my heart seeming to beat a bit faster with every step as I walked over the threshold into the bathroom. I stopped dead in my tracks, eyeing the pregnancy test that was lying innocently on the sink. After taking numerous breaths in procrastination, I eased forward and snatched the test up carefully. My fingers turned the test so the screen was facing me, my eyes scaninng my fate.

Positive.