To Love Again

Eleni’s P.O.V.

I sat down on the wooden bench next to Edward underneath the shadow of the canopy at the end of the garden. The colourful flowers were sprinkled with frost and they sparkled as the sun set, reflecting its bright rays against what looked like tiny broken mirrors.

I could tell by the way the Edward’s body had tensed up beside me that he wasn’t comfortable or even ready to talk about Bella, and I didn’t want to force him.

“It’s ok Edward. You don’t have to talk about it,” I laced my fingers with his on his lap.

He sighed inwardly and looked at me. His golden eyes carried so much regret and sorrow. I had to fight with myself not to touch him. Now was not the time.

“You have a right to know,” he swallowed hard.

“Edward, I don’t want to know until you are ready to tell me.”

It was then that I decided that maybe if I opened up to him a little, he might confide in me. But I never realized opening up to someone could be so difficult. My mouth went dry and a hard lump settled in my throat. Ever since I was a child I had a problem telling people how I felt. Maybe it was a trust issue but deep down, I knew I could trust him with my life. I owed him so much and there was so much I wanted to thank him for.

I took a deep breath before I opened my mouth to speak.

“Edward,” his eyes glanced back at me, my hand still gripping his. “Maybe it’s time you knew more about me.”

He didn’t object. In fact, he didn’t say a word. The only thing I could see was his breathing turning white as he exhaled in the cold air. I could feel my pulse quicken a little and a hard knot tightened in my stomach.

“Am,” I licked my lips and took a deep breath. “As you know, my father is dead,” I didn’t look at him. Instead, I fixed my eyes on the movement of the large branches hanging from the tears ahead of us. “He passed away two years ago in a car crash. It was a head on collision with a drunken trunk driver. Which leads me to Joe,” I exhaled.

I could see from the corner of my eye that he was staring at me now. He wanted to know why the car crash that had killed my father led to Joe but I refused to return his gaze. I kept my eyes firmly fixed on everything but Edward.

“You see, my father wasn’t the only one that was killed that night. Chris Miller was the young man in the car was coming in the opposite direction and when the truck skidded, both cars collided into it.”

“Miller,” Edward whispered, recognition seeping into his head. “Isn’t Miller Joe’s surname?” He asked.

This time I looked up at his curious gold eyes and smiled softly, “Yes, it is. Chris was Joe’s older brother, and ever since the crash we felt somehow bonded together. We have gone to the same school since we were young but we were never even friends. After the funerals we got to know each other, resulting in both of us going out,” I stayed silent for a moment, leaving him time to digest the news. “Joe is bitter and angry about everything that has happened, and for a long while I excused what he did to me because of it. Until I finally realized, we were both going through the very same thing. He lost his brother and I lost my father but we both lost people we loved deeply,” surprisingly, I could feel the tears sting my eyes but I let them. There was no use in wiping them away, more would fall in their place.

“My mother is kind of doing the same thing,” I continued as Edward stayed silent, intrigued in the conversation. I was finding easier for the words to flow now. “I tried everything to help her. I brought her to meetings, poured her drink down the drain. You name it, I did it. But it was no use. She just hated me even more for it. I remind her of my father too much, I think. That is why if she was in a mood I was the first person she came to, to take it out on. So instead of taking her to meetings and pouring her drink down the drain I stayed there to help her when she needed me. Like times when she blacked out or if someone had to stay up all night encase she choked on her own vomit,” I bit down on my lip, releasing the pressure just before the skin broke. “I’m just glad she is ok now. Hopefully, she might have shocked herself into getting help and I can’t have Suzie around her if she is going to slide right back to where she was. She doesn’t deserve to see that. But George is moving in now. I’m sure he will be able to sort my mother out a bit,” I laughed gently to myself letting a single tear fall from my eye.

I watched as Edward shook his head and leaned his elbows down on his lap. “You are so brave,” he whispered staring up at me. “You have been through so much and yet you are sitting here thinking about how it will affect somebody else,” he sat up the then and rubbed his thumb slowly across my cheek bone wiping away the tear that had fallen.

“I’m not brave,” I whispered. “If I was brave I would have walked away from Joe. If I wasn’t so wrapped up myself and my own worries I might have been able to stop her,” a sob scraped through my throat.

“Eleni, it wasn’t your fault. And I don’t think your mother sees it that way. Nobody would have expected you to have seen what was coming, and as for Joe he is a monster,” he snapped bitterly. “He had no right at all to touch you in that way,” I watched as his jaw flinched with anger. “I was so scared when I saw you lying there yesterday. You just look lifeless and there was nothing I could do.”

“But you did help me. I’m here aren’t I? By the way,” I smiled up at him. “I never did get to say thank you.”

He just rolled his eyes and smiled in return. I knew by the look on his face that he felt he did not deserve to be thanked but he saved me and he had no idea how much that meant to me.

But then something hit me as I relived the events of yesterday. Wow, was that only yesterday? Anyway, what did he call to my house? He never did tell me what he wanted. And wait, I can remember him saying that Jasper and Joe were taking care of Joe. What exactly did they do to him? Ugh, I felt like getting sick. And what the hell were Jasper and Emmett doing at my house. It wasn’t as if they were dropping Suzie by, she was at school.

“Edward,” I knocked him out of the daze he was in. He just turned to look at me. “What did you come to my house yesterday for? And why was Jasper and Emmett with you?”

His eyes widened for a split second but he immediately composed himself again. “We were on our way to the supermarket for Esme,” he told me, rather convincingly actually which meant I had no reason to doubt him. “And we saw Joe’s car going in the direction of your house so we followed him.”

“Oh,” I simply said, now understanding.

I flinched as his ice-cold hand landed on mine. “Did you think I was stalking you?” He joked, laughing.

“Why the hell are you always so cold?” I questioned shuddering, lifting his hand to lace his fingers with mine and totally ignoring his previous question. Instead, I answered it with a simple- “I wish you were stalking me”, in my head. It would have scared him if I said it aloud.

“I don’t know,” he hesitated at the sudden question.

“I like the cold,” I interrupted, telling him the truth. “Winter is my favourite time of the year,” I inhaled deeply, letting the fresh crisp air flush into my aching lungs as I stared down at his pale white hand. “So what is it with Carlisle and Esme?”

His eyes narrowed on me for a moment, urging me to go on and explain what I meant.

“Do they not like adopting the ugly tanned kids?” I chuckled and he laughed along with me.

“I guess not,” he breathed with a slight smile. He looked cautious somehow, though, as if I was about to hit something he didn’t want me to.

“So Jacob is coming tomorrow,” I grinned. I was really forward to meeting this guy. Nessie seemed really happy that he was coming and I could tell that she has missed him a lot.

Edward did not share my enthusiasm, though. His eyebrows had furrowed and his lips were turned down into a frown.

“What is the matter? Do you not like him?” I quizzed.

He took a deep breath before answering. “No, it’s not that I don’t like him, and Nessie is hooked. It’s just she is my little,” he suddenly stopped himself and tensed before taking another breath and sitting back on the bench. “She is my sister and it is weird.”

“Oh,” I trailed off.

“And he was best friends with Bella. I just said I would tell you that before he arrives and starts talking about her.”

Well, I suppose that would not be so odd, a brother and sister going out with best friends. Happens all of the time. Anyway, it was going to be good to get an insight into what Bella was like. Even if Edward did not want to talk about her yet, at least I could see what you taste in friends was like.

With that, I shivered as a cold wind swept past us.

“I think it is time to get you inside,” Edward smiled, obviously relieved that our conversation about Jacob had ended.

The heat inside the house was gladly welcomed by my shivering bones. Everyone was in the kitchen, chatting amongst themselves, well apart from Emmett. I was guessing he was with Suzie.

“El, you are freezing,” George jumped as I stuck my hand to his face.

“You don’t say,” I joked laughing at his pained expression when I put my palm on his cheek. “Hope he is behaving himself,” I tilted my head towards him as I spoke to the rest of the Cullens.

“Of course he is,” Carlisle chuckled.

“Hey El,” George caught my attention but I didn’t like the tone of his voice.

“What?” I answered hesitantly. “Esme showed me around and I noticed that there is a beautiful piano out there.”

“Shut up, George,” I quickly interjected.

“Oh yes, I almost forgot,” Edward smiled, staring at me. Oh I really felt like killing George sometimes. Who ever thought I wanted to talk about this? “Suzie let it slip the other night.”

“Amazing player,” George added proudly. Well I wasn’t all that proud of him at the moment. I threw him a death glare but he totally ignored me. “The only challenge I have left is to get her to play the thing again, or at least get her to teach it. She was the best teacher this place had.”

“George,” I tried to stop him but Carlisle interrupted.

“You must play for us. Edward plays all of the time.”

“Oh God, no,” I almost shouted.

“Come on, El,” George pressed and my hand stung with the urge to slap him. He knows I haven’t played since my father died but he used the crowd to his advantage and was trying his best to put pressure on me. “It will be practice for your performance in the National Concert Hall in a few months.”

I could hear everyone gasp around me. Actually, I didn’t gasp, I choked.

“Eleni, you never said anything,” was everyone’s reaction but I didn’t take my glare from George’s eyes, who was finding it difficult to match, what I would call, insanity in my eyes.

“What are you talking about?” I tried to sound calm.

“The concert I told you about.”

“The same concert I refused?” I persisted. “Excuse me for a minute,” I turned to the Cullens, refusing to meet Edward’s eyes. I turned back to George. “Can I speak to you please?” It was more of a demand.

We walked outside after that.

“What the hell was that about?” I screamed, unable to contain myself. I could feel the lump in my throat begin to choke me.

“Eleni, you have to do this concert.”

“I don’t have to do anything. I am not playing and that is the end of it George. You know how I feel about it and yet you brought it up in front of everybody in there,” tears spilled from my eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry. I really just want to see you happy again, El. And you were happy when you played.”

“I’m happy now, George. I promise. Someday I might go back to it but not yet.”

He smiled briefly and lowered his head to kiss me softly on the cheek.

“Fine,” he grunted, finally giving in.

Just then, the door swung open to uncover Emmett’s worried eyes staring at us both. “Eleni, Suzie is crying. I tried to comfort her but she is sobbing.”

I ran into the living room where the whole family was trying to comfort her. I had to fight back the painful tears as I watched sit there with her head in her hands as her body shook with the sobs.

“Sweetie,” I said leaning down in front of her.

“I... miss... mommy,” she cried throwing herself into my arms. I took a deep breath as she did to prepare myself for the pain of when she came crashing into me. I closed my eyes for a moment to let it seep through me.

“I know, honey,” I stoked her golden hair. “But she will be coming home soon and Uncle George is coming to stay with us tomorrow.”

“But I want to go home now,” I could feel her tears soak through my top.

“Okay,” I said, swallowing the lump. I wasn’t going to keep her here if she didn’t want to. I knew she loved this house and the people in it but she was a home bird and being away from home and her mother can be too much for a six year old to take. I pulled her away and kept her and arms length. I smiled lovingly as I peeled away the strands of hair stuck to her face and wiped away her tears. She was so much like my mother it was almost scary. She had the same colour hair and the same pale green eyes. “We will get your stuff together and I will bring you home,” I promised whispering in her ear.

“Hey princess,” George rubbed her cheek and she smiled through the tears.

“Will you drop us home?”

“Of course,” he answered.

I felt so sorry for her because it must have hit her like a tonne of bricks. She was more than happy to stay just moments ago and now she wanted to leave. Poor thing.

“Eleni,” Doctor Cullen interrupted, his eyes were soaked of concern. “I don’t think it is a good idea for you to go home tonight. I still need to look after those injuries, because if you were not here you would have to be in a hospital, and even though you may be able to walk around, no hospital would leave you home in your condition. It may not be as painful as if was but that is because of the pain killers.”

“Well,” Alice butted in with her musical pitched voice, smiling widely, “Edward has some medical experience from Carlisle. I’m sure he would know what to do if anything happened. Besides, he could be there encase Joe called around again.”

I was glad Suzie had left the room with Emmett to get her things when Alice had said Joe’s name.

Wait, crap, did she just suggest that Edward stay the night.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that. I trust Edward,” George shrugged. “If it okay with his parents I mean.”

“Fine with us,” they both agreed happily.

“Guys, you can’t just expect him to watch me for the night. I am perfectly fine on my own and I am not a child,” I stated, feeling my cheeks burn. This was embarrassing. Why didn’t Edward just hurry up and say no already?

“Come on, El,” George waved his hands. “I trust you both and it is not like you two can, you know,” oh sweet mother of divine. He was trying to kill me of embarrassment. “Do anything,” he finished. I could hear the faint laughter of the people surrounding me. “I mean,” he started. “You can’t move with your injuries.”

“Please ground,” I muttered to myself, “open up and swallow me.”

“And Edward would be able to help you,” Carlisle added, with a wide smirk on his face.

“He is not,” I was about to finish my sentence but the smug tone of Edward’s voice cut me off.

“Actually, I don’t mind at all,” I could feel my whole face drop. “Sounds perfect.”

Oh Christ! Not good. Not good at all.

I could see Rosalie nudge him from the corner of my eye. “You two will have fun. Maybe you two could pull an all-nighter. I wonder who would win,” she laughed sarcastically. I wasn’t so sure if she was referring to a subject in their past but I knew one thing was for sure, I wasn’t meant to get it.

I took a deep breath to release my unwanted and unnecessary stress.

Great! Edward Cullen was my babysitter for the night.