Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 9
To come to me is the most daring thing you would do? (Congratulations!)
Dasha came back speaking at her mobile.
“Yeah, I’m fine. And you? What?!?! Where are you? But…how? When? Jesus Christ! You’re not kidding? It’s not a joke? No, it’s not that I don’t want. You’re with guys? Really? Jesus Christ! What are you going to do? I don’t know, go to the city, stay at some hotel. What to do to me? Ok, call later. Yeah, I’m too. Bye.”
She closed the mobile and said: “oh, my god! Ross got here!”
“Are you crazy, girl? It’s almost impossible for him. Tell me what he said to you!”
“OUR AMERICAN BOYFRIENDS ARE IN MINSK RIGHT NOW AND IT’S NOT A JOKE!”
“Are you kidding?”
“No”
“You’re kidding”
“No”
“Wow. I can’t believe”
“Me too. But I spoke with Ross right now and I don’t think he can joke with me this way”, Dasha said.
“They’re assholes. I won’t go for them. Let them sit there in the airport and do what they want!”
“We have to. They’ll lose there”
I laughed.
“Yeah. Are the whole band there? With all service stuff and dancers and sound techs?”
“I don’t know. Ross said he’s with guys. I don’t know how many those guys are”.
“ok, I’ll call Brendon”
“You better name him Mr. Urie, girl. Why you’re so official?”
“You call your boyfriend by his surname. And he’s content”, I snapped.
I dialed Brendon. Dasha dialed Ryan, I guess.
“Hi!” I heard a funny familiar voice.
“Are you crazy? How did you all happened to there?”
“By aircraft”, he chuckled.
“Smart ass. May be you’ll tell me what you’re planning to do after?”
“I thought you would help me”
“Fucking tourist. You’re a jerk. You all are jerks. For what you came here? It’s your idea? And how they all could support it? How many of the band reached Belarus, huh?”
“Don’t worry this much. It’s only Spence, Jon, Ryan and me”.
“Without any guard?!”
“Yeah. We’re not children. Plus you talked we’re not so popular in your country as in USA, so we don’t think hanging out around the city will be a big problem”, he said.
“Well, children, take a taxi, say to driver to go to hotel named Minsk. Get it?”
“Of course. And then?”
“Nothing. Stay at hotel and have the rest. And don’t try to taste local exotics.”
“Haha, ok. When I’ll see you?”
“Why do you think you’ll see me? You’ll have a rest and come back to States”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just you’re a jerk”
“Stop calling me a jerk!”
“Ok, then you’re an asshole. What do you like more? The sense isn’t changing.”
“Ok, I understood that I came here in vain.”
“May be. Call me from the hotel”
“Bye”
I hung up and stared at Dasha and Roma sitting in front of me.
“Everything’s alright?” he asked me.
“Yeah. Everything’s just perfect”, I sighed and got up. “We have to go”.
Dasha got up too.
“You’ll go to Minsk now?” he asked.
“Yeah”
“I can drive you. Anyways I need to meet my parents today”, he suggested.
“Oh, it’s just perfect!” I hugged him. “So I’ll call you when we’ll get ready. We need to pack some stuff”
******************************************************
We were standing at reception in the hotel and waiting for our boys to come down.
“Look, and WE have to wait! I’ll go away now. Fucking tourists”, I said with a little anger.
“Calm down, they’ll be soon”, Dasha replied.
“Uhuh”, I sighed.
After some minutes we saw Jon Walker coming to us. We greeted him with a joy.
“Our boyfriends are lazy bastards. They couldn’t come down to us themselves?” I asked gloomy.
“No, they’re just gathering”, Jon explained and we began walking up.
“Where? To the plane? I can help. I didn’t ask Brendon to come at all!” I said with irritation.
“No, they’re preparing gifts for you, girls. And we’re not going to leave”, he said and smiled.
“We’re intrigued”, I said.
“Yeah, I saw the gifts. Some of them were chosen with my help”, he said.
“Really? What?” Dasha asked.
“I’m already glad that it’s not only a post card or something. We’ll get SOME gifts”, I mumbled ironically.
“well, you’ll see”, Jon said and opened some door. Door of their room. We got into it.
“SPENCER!” Dasha yelled and hugged him with kisses.
“hey!” he greeted us laughing.
“So where’s mine?” Dasha asked looking around the room seeking Ryan.
I already saw that there wasn’t Brendon in the room and just sat on the couch. After Dasha’s question some strange boy came up to her with roses and made an attempt to kiss her. I was about to think that it was Ryan somewhere in deep corners of my mind. But how I can think that weird and bad-dressed and bad-looked kid was Ryan?! Dasha took the flowers not getting completely it was her boyfriend.
“R-ryan? It’s you?” She asked. “what’s happened to you?”
“What?” Ryan asked not knowing how awful he looked with that hat and waistcoat.
“What “what”? Did you see yourself in a mirror, honey? Where did you find these clothes?” she asked with a scorn.
“I…purchased”, he replied.
“From a big sorrow, Ryan?” I asked ironically. “May be something’s happened to your house? It burnt? And all of your good clothes? I see guys helped by giving you the most awful stuffs their grandfathers had?” I said from my couch being in no mood from the morning.
“Ross, what’s about your face? You couldn’t meet me being clean-shaven?” Dasha asked him with a great discontent.
“I know I’m not shaven!” he said loudly. “So what? I was busy. I hadn’t time. It’s my face. I do to it what I want”.
“Please, notice, she has to kiss your face”, I said jokingly.
“Yeah. And you’re going to have a looong beard, may be? It’s good, man!” she said ironically.
“Ok, I’ll shave tomorrow. Why do you shout?”
“I don’t shout!”
“Spence, did you have a dinner or whatever?” I asked him.
“No”
“Well”
“I haven’t shouted yet, my darling!” Dasha said again. “I’m telling that I’m discontent by your appearance-“
“Me too”, I can’t deter myself from the comment.
“I left you for a week and you had the time to get soo bad look!” Dasha told everything I guessed.
“Yeah. I was out for a week, I came here to you and for you and you began shouting from the door! And nothing’s nice or something!”
“You wanted her to kiss your unshaven face?” I asked him jokingly.
“I don’t have the right to say you’re awful?! If I didn’t care about how you look I’d be silent now. But I care”.
“Calm down!! I’ll shave and wear something else. It’s not a problem”.
“Yeah, please, burn this awful grey rag you call scarf” I got up and wanted to see Brendon eventually. “So everybody, let’s say friendly “Nice to meet you!” I said with a smirk and walked into another room.
I saw Brendon was kinda seeking something in his bag.
“Well, I don’t know why you came here and I don’t know what I’m doing here”, I said.
He stood up and looked at me smiling.
“I came to visit you and to spend some time wit you. On your territory”, he replied. “Cause I wanna be with you”.
“So may be you even have explanations for my coming?” I asked.
He came closer.
“You came ‘cause all that you said in the airport a week ago was untruth. And now you’re here wishing for approval for it. Though the fact you’re here is pretty good approval”, he said.
I was silent. We were intently looking at each other.
“Is it good explanation?” he took my hands into his ones.
“It’s the way you wanna see all of this”, I replied firmly.
His smile disappeared.
“You came ‘cause you finally feel sorry for your behavior. I came to hear you saying it and to tell you that you still have time to catch a flight to USA. All that I had said then was all that I felt then. I’m not gonna deny my words”, I said.
“Felt? You felt? It means you don’t feel all of that now?” he was desperately catching each my word.
I fell in silence for a moment. He wasn’t making me hurry with an answer.
“I don’t know, Brendon. I don’t think I have an urgency to break up with you”, I said as his face was washed with relief.
It is so important to him to be with me...
“But we both know that it doesn’t happen this way - we say “let’s stop quarrel” and quarrels disappear. We should do something. We should start a normal life together. ‘Cause as for me I’m tired of it. I’m tired, Brendon”, I said.
He enveloped me in a hug.
“I spent this week and a half without you. Even without talking to you. Plus our farewell ceremony wasn’t funny AT ALL”, he started.
I snickered.
“And to hell if it sounds cliché...but...i thought much. I really was an asshole. And you were totally right. And your words “I break up with you”...they just scared the shit out of me. I was scared I could be without you”, he said.
“Stop, Brendon”, I asked.
“Why?”
We looked at each other.
“Don’t tell so many pleasant words at once”, I grinned.
He laughed.
“So no fucking questions about male friends, no damn suspiciousness, no annoying each other?” I studied him.
He put his right hand oh his chest above his heart and smiled.
“I swear”, he exclaimed. “And YES to love and peace”.
I hugged him.
“Swear too”, I whispered.
“Good. And let’s just spend these goddamn vacations together”, he said.
“I’m totally up to it. And I already have ideas for you, guys”, I confessed.
“I knew it”, he grinned.