Fake
High School- You won't make it out alive.
Thinking back on my first day of high school was like trying to remember a bad dream you would have as a kid. It was bigger, and everything all the sudden mattered there. appearance, attitude, but of course, i was the one left unchanged.
Freshman. one word i am glad to say i will never be again. also known as- fresh meat. you are either the laughing stock, or you were stalked. one or the other, annoyance all around. See, i was waiting to just be the laughing stock at that point, so i didn't care about any of the things the normal girls did. but of course, i never have.
I learned one bad thing as i entered this new place- swim class. This is the worst place for a cutter. I couldn't cover up nor hide anything. i was unleashed and almost naked in front of an authority figure, even though it was a gym teacher, it still meant my small simple safe prices secrete was at stake.
I was disgusted with myself. half the time i would hide in the bathroom stall and just cry like the pathetic little fake that i was. How selfish was i to think i was actually important. But i got on with it, sometimes.
And somewhere along these lines i had found a guy interested in me. he was cute, and my type, but i just couldn't see myself with him for long, cause every girl in the whole school wanted him as well as i, so what really was the point? and the fact that i wasn't the laughing stock, i was the stocked. Mark was his name, and no, he want my boyfriend.
He would always stare at me and try to talk to me. i was far from interested because i had a boyfriend, and this mark kid had a girlfriend, even though she was more than human, in my mind that is. But slowly, my relationship had spuddered to a stop because of one reason or the other. and there was mark. The guy i was dating actually decided to break up with me in the middle of the hallway, and i didn't really mind, because he wasn't that important. i saw him more as a friend as it was.
But then i had the next problem. Mark went and broke up with his girlfriend immediately, and then i knew i had big trouble coming my way, because for some reason or the other, i was attracted to him. no surprise there.
just like my whole life, it was paved with bad decisions.
Freshman. one word i am glad to say i will never be again. also known as- fresh meat. you are either the laughing stock, or you were stalked. one or the other, annoyance all around. See, i was waiting to just be the laughing stock at that point, so i didn't care about any of the things the normal girls did. but of course, i never have.
I learned one bad thing as i entered this new place- swim class. This is the worst place for a cutter. I couldn't cover up nor hide anything. i was unleashed and almost naked in front of an authority figure, even though it was a gym teacher, it still meant my small simple safe prices secrete was at stake.
I was disgusted with myself. half the time i would hide in the bathroom stall and just cry like the pathetic little fake that i was. How selfish was i to think i was actually important. But i got on with it, sometimes.
And somewhere along these lines i had found a guy interested in me. he was cute, and my type, but i just couldn't see myself with him for long, cause every girl in the whole school wanted him as well as i, so what really was the point? and the fact that i wasn't the laughing stock, i was the stocked. Mark was his name, and no, he want my boyfriend.
He would always stare at me and try to talk to me. i was far from interested because i had a boyfriend, and this mark kid had a girlfriend, even though she was more than human, in my mind that is. But slowly, my relationship had spuddered to a stop because of one reason or the other. and there was mark. The guy i was dating actually decided to break up with me in the middle of the hallway, and i didn't really mind, because he wasn't that important. i saw him more as a friend as it was.
But then i had the next problem. Mark went and broke up with his girlfriend immediately, and then i knew i had big trouble coming my way, because for some reason or the other, i was attracted to him. no surprise there.
just like my whole life, it was paved with bad decisions.