Lie Like You Mean It

“Okay, which way are we going?” Michael asked Mina who was perched on his back with his arms looped around her legs.

“To the kitchen! The kitchen!” She squealed from the other room. I groaned and Zero grabbed my arm.
“Just ignore them.” He sighed.

To be honest, I was getting used to him touching me. It was getting easier to accept him as my boyfriend. But as quickly as he had wrapped his fingers around my arm, the slender digits were removed. But it was obviously because he didn’t want to give Michael or Mina a reason to squeal at us.

“Nickybear!” Michael gasped as he paraded over to us with Mina still firmly attached to his back.
Mina reached down and ruffled Zero’s hair. “Your roots are showing!”

I looked up at Zero to see what Mina was talking about. Sure enough the natural blond was peeking through from his scalp. He just glared up at her and then plucked a piece of hair from his head. He held it closer for examination.

“Yeah, so?”He said, tossing the piece of hair aside.

“You need to color it again.” Michael said, letting Mina down off his back. She leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek. Michael smiled down at her and gave her a hug. There seemed to be some unspoken word exchange between them because I saw her giggle like something was funny. But nothing had come out of his mouth.

I wondered if I’d ever be able to understand Zero like that. Although I kind of doubted it. He was too volatile for his own good. But the outcome of us being together was much different than I thought it’d be. At first I had thought I would need to be careful of all the landmines he had surrounding him because of how easy it seemed for me to be able to set him off. Like that time where he almost hit me. But now he didn’t dare do anything I didn’t like.

“Hey, kids, are you hungry?” My mom asked as she walked through to doorway.

“Mom, I need ten bucks.” I said, looking up at her, trying to give her an innocent face. Not that what I was asking wasn’t innocent; I just wanted to get out of the house. And using Zero’s hair color was a perfect excuse.

“For?” She asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Hair color. Zero needs his hair colored again.” I stated easily.

“His roots are showing; he’s starting to look bald.” Mina added giggling.

Mom thought it over for a few minutes then fished around in her purse which was on the counter. “But you two need to hurry back, Blake’ll be here soon.” She informed us, handing me a ten dollar bill. “Get the cheap kind.”

“Okay, Mom.” I said as I stood up, Zero mimicking my movements. She kissed my forehead as if to say ‘be careful’.

“I could totally drive them.” Michael spoke up. I saw Zero tense up behind me. I don’t think either of us liked that idea too much.

“No thanks.” We said in unison. For once it seemed like Zero and I were on the same page. Back in our room, I searched out my closet for my coat and gloves since I already had my scarf on due to a certain someone who decided to bite me.

I pulled out what little hair got caught under the collar of the coat. As I did that, Zero slipped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his head in the crook of my neck. His breath danced along my skin and it made me shudder slightly. “Wh-what?”

“I-I don’t know.” He said, pulling away. Then there came that sharp little pang of emotion that I couldn’t sort into a category as his touch left me. Like that day at the breakfast table when we (kind of) held hands. “I just kind of… felt like it.”

“I-I think w-we should get g-going.” I stuttered sheepishly. He smiled at me with a startling genuine happiness that was strange looking on his face. Was I the one that did that to him?

“Nicolas?” He called as I pulled on my gloves. “I like you.”

I froze and slowly turned to him. It wasn’t like this was the first time I’d ever heard it, but it was still kind of odd for me to hear it. But I could hear the words scream that it was the truth.

“H-huh?” I was still struck by the boldness he used to say it that I was having trouble managing words.
“Are you ever going to say it back to me?” He asked, pulling my earmuffs around my ears and then bringing his palm down to rest on my cheek.

“I d-don’t kn-know.” Which was the truth. “I th-thought maybe it was… obvious… when I s-said yes to… dating you…”

I felt my cheeks catch fire as I said those words. And then, realizing that I had said them I quickly looked away from him. You see what speaking without thinking gets you? I thought to myself while I chewed on my bottom lip.

Yeah, it gets you the truth. Came some tiny voice from inside my head. I was getting a little wobbly at the sudden realization so I needed to sit on my bed. “You… mean that?” He asked quietly.

I like Zero. I thought over and over. But it made almost no sense inside my head. But when I had spoken it (though it was indirect) it felt so… right. And it kind of scared me.
“I… think I do.” I whispered back, suddenly uncertain whether I wanted him to know my revelation or not.

“Say it, then. Say, ‘I like you, too’.” He prompted, his hands on my shoulders.

“I…” My lips were trembling and tears pricked at my eyes. I never thought it’d be this difficult.
But I knew that if you didn’t tell your feelings to someone then you can’t expect them to just know. That’s just how things were. But seeing his expectant face in front of me was too much so I had to cover my eyes and look downwards. “I l-like you t-too.”

I was startled by the amount of truth my words held. It was like it sewed everything together. I understood what I was condemning myself to as soon as the words left my mouth. But at the same time I was thankful this wasn’t ‘love’. But I’m sure Zero would say, ‘It’s not love… yet.’
He always had that keen hopefulness for the future which was predictable of a guy who wanted to forget his past.

“Does that give me permission to kiss you?” He asked straightforwardly.

“I-I… guess it does. But make it quick, we have to leave.” I said, regaining my usual stubbornness.
He leaned over me and pressed his lips against mine. Slowly, I found myself reaching around his neck and I realized it was to pull him closer. I didn’t comprehend why I wanted him closer, but I did. His coarse hair rubbed against my arms as they wrapped around his shoulders. It was still kind of strange to feel his breath mix with my own, but it did anyways. He moved his lips against mine with sporadic actions that I couldn’t follow and I ended up breaking it.

Even though breaking the kiss was a clear sign that I didn’t want to kiss anymore, he loomed in again and placed a soft peck on the bridge of my nose, which made me close my eyes to fight my need to back away out of shyness.
“So, are we leaving now?” I asked impatiently.
“Yeah, yeah, we’re leaving.” He said, rolling his eyes and grabbing my hands to pull me up from the mattress.

“Did I mention I wanted you to be the one to color my hair?” Zero asked while we browsed the hair care aisle.

“Why don’t you have my mom or Mina do it? Hell, I bet Michael’d do it.” I suggested, not wanting him to know I maybe, just a little, tiny bit, wanted to do it for him.

“I want you to do it because it’s you.” He stated quietly, glancing up at me from his spot on the floor. He was respecting the fact that I wanted us to keep the relationship a secret and so far it was working.

“Okay… I’ll do it.”

“How about this one?” He asked, holding up a box with a nameless model on it.

“Auburn? You realize you’ll have to bleach your hair before you can color it anything over than black, right? Or you can wait for it to grow out blond again.”

I tried picturing a blond Zero, but it didn’t work. Blond was too… soft of a color for his intense features. Although it suited his twin.

He sighed defeatedly and placed the box back on the shelf. “What about blue-black?” He grabbed another box up, this time with an Asian model.

“It looks like regular black until you go into the sunlight then it shines blue.” I informed him.

“That sounds good, let’s get this one.” He grinned up at me.

I rolled my eyes at him but proceeded to let him get it. After all, I figured it was okay for me to want to see him happy now. You know, considering that any feelings we had for each other were now denounced and made public between us as our own little secret.