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Sequel: The Pros and Cons of Growing Up ›
The Pros and Cons of Loving
Part 17
Eric’s POV
When I got home that night, Frank and Gerard were still not yet back. I came into the house quietly, not wanting Aiden to hear me. I needn’t have worried about that though because he was sitting on the couch and when I walked in his blue eyes met mine.
“H… hi.” I whispered.
“Hi.” He said back, looking at me. I took in his appearance. He hadn’t gained back any weight. He was extremely pale and his eyes seemed to stand out. They were the only part of him that looked alive, yet they looked dead at the same time.
What had I done?
“Aiden… I’m sorry I looked in that box… it was on the dresser and I was curious and… I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care…” he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Eric.”
“Of course it matters!” I exclaimed.
“You don’t care, why should I?!”
“I do care!” I said, tears filling my eyes. “This is so hard—.”
“So hard to go have sex with fucking Evan and whoever in the hell else you’ve slept with?!”
That hurt. I felt several tears fall down my face. “I never had sex with anyone, Aiden.” I said slowly. “I would never do that.”
“I never thought you’d let one feel you up either!”
“I didn’t! Not like that!”
“I saw you in the orchestra room!” he shouted angrily.
“How long were you fucking there? Long enough to see me slap him and rush off?!” I wiped my eyes. “I fucking love you, okay?! Look I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Aiden… I don’t know why I did this.”
“Well maybe you should fucking figure it out!”
I began to cry. “I tried so many times, Aiden… I c-can’t… I just… I feel like I c-can’t be happy or something… I don’t… I’m so sorry.”
Aiden stood up and came over to me. I tensed up, expecting him to hit me. Instead he wrapped his arms around me and led me to the couch. When we were sitting he rocked me back and fourth, kissing the top of my head.
It took me a good ten minutes to calm down. I stayed with my head buried in his chest, reveling in the feeling. I hadn’t been so close to him in so long.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“No.” I sniffed.
His arms went tighter around me and I reached out my hand. He unwrapped one arm from around me, sliding his hand into mine.
“I love you… I do, Aiden…” I sobbed, looking up at him.
“Shh… I love you too.” He whispered, rocking me. “So much, baby… its going to be okay.”
I nodded looking into his eyes.
“Just quit crying. We’ll lie down together and… catch up.”
I nodded and stopped crying. I was gasping for breath and water hiccoughing.
We made our way to his bed and both of us just lay on top of the covers. Aiden was rubbing my arm and I closed my eyes, relaxing under his touch. He was the only one who could calm me down just by touching me.
“Aiden, I… I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“Just don’t do it again.” He said playfully. “It’s going to be alright, baby. You’ll see… we’re going to be just fine.”
Aiden’s POV
I had barely drifted to sleep when I heard the front door close. My eyes snapped open and I crawled out of bed careful not to wake Eric, who had taken forever to get to sleep, up.
Daddy was closing the bedroom door as I came out. I made my way downstairs to find Dad cleaning up the kitchen.
“Hey.”
He jumped and turned around. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.” He gasped. “God… hey.”
I smiled. “Hi.”
“What’s up? Can’t sleep?”
“Yeah. Can I help?”
“Nah, I’m just… no. Want some peanut butter and Oreos?”
I smiled and nodded.
He got out a box of Oreos, the peanut butter, and grinned at me. “Couch?”
“Sure.”
We sat on the couch, really close. He put some peanut butter on an Oreo for me.
“I’m 17. I can do it myself.” I laughed.
“I know but you’re my baby.” He handed it to me and I nibbled on it. “How are you doing, babe? Did you eat today?”
“Yeah. My soup did stay down.” I said. “I didn’t eat lunch though.”
He ate an Oreo and nodded. “It’ll get better. You know it will.”
“I know…”
“You seem better today. About… things.” He said, smiling.
I finished my first Oreo. “I am.” I brushed hair from my face, nodding. “I am.”
“Sometimes things just… aren’t meant to be, Aiden… and maybe you and Eric are meant to be and will get back together… but I’m glad you’re better today.”
“We’re back together, Dad.” I said, feeling giddy. “Me and Eric… Dad, we worked it out! We’re back together!”
Dad’s eyes widened in shock. “You are?” he looked at me, almost dropping the peanut butter.
“Yeah… I’m just like… wow.” I said, feeling nervous. Like I was jinxing it by telling someone. I was also really excited though. This is what I’d wanted. I had wanted Eric to love to, to take me back. He had. “I can’t even… just…. Wow.”
“Oh, Aiden that’s great.” he said, hugging me. “Oh baby, that’s… I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. I mean, I know it’s gonna be awkward for a little bit but… We can do it. But uhm… I don’t wanna talk about it and jinx it so uhm…” I said excitedly. “Where were you and Dad?”
“Ray is in town. He’s gonna stay over the day after tomorrow.” Dad shrugged, and then laughed. “Jinx it… haha.”
“Well I just—.” I said, blushing.
“I’m kidding, babe. Just kidding.”
“So… when I saw Ray’s hair…” Dad shook his head and began giggling. “It’s… god… soon he’s gonna have gray hair and he’s still gonna have the fro.”
I pictured this—it was a very funny picture— began laughing hysterically. Dad began laughing as well. We’d stop laughing, look at each other, and begin laughing again. It was a vicious cycle that continued for about ten minutes.
“Hehe… wow… I missed Ray.” Dad sighed.
“I can’t wait to see him.” I said excitedly. “I mean, I saw him in the hospital but I can barely remember that.”
“Yeah…” he smiled at me. “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Mikey hadn’t decided to leave the band for his kids… ya know, what if we all give went on tour with our families in one small ass van?”
“I’d hate you.” I giggled.
“Aww, you always liked it when you were younger. You loved going and waking Davey up. When you were three you were convinced he was a vampire so you’d take cross and you had the celery stake—.” Dad started laughing and trailed off.
“Celery stake?”
“Yes. You got out of the house with a knife once but Bob caught you from behind. You were like ‘I’s a gotsta kill the Davey Vampires, Bibby.”
“Bibby?” I laughed.
“Yeah. You called him Bibby for a while because you couldn’t pronounce certain letters. You were always like ‘I gotta pippy, Daddy.’ When you had to poop.”
“Ewww.”
“Oh yeah. You were definitely fun to raise.” Dad sighed.
“So… uhm… when I was ten and eleven and was so mean to you guys… did you ever want to give me away?”
“What? No, Aiden…” Frank gasped.
“Its just I’d understand… I was so mean.”
“It’s okay… no, Aiden. It isn’t like because you’re adopted if I get mad at you I’m gonna throw you out. That thought never once crossed my mind or Gerard’s for that matter. Plus, I lucked out. You hated me for two years rather than the usual six.”
I nodded, smiling. “Okay… I just wondered…”
“Don’t you ever think stuff like that, okay?”
I nodded again and sighed.
“Babe, I know that you’re going through a lot and I know there’s going to be stuff that you can’t come to me to… but I’m here for you and anything you do… I’m just here.” Dad reached over and squeezed my hand. “Why don’t you go get some sleep, huh? I’ll see you in the morning, baby.”
“Alright... goodnight, I love you.” I hugged Dad tightly, nuzzling him.
“Hey, Aiden?” he asked, giving me a tight squeeze.
“Yeah, dad?” I asked, backing away from him a bit.
“I am really happy for you, babe… it’s nice to see you smile.”
"Thanks..." I smiled again and headed upstairs to bed...
When I got home that night, Frank and Gerard were still not yet back. I came into the house quietly, not wanting Aiden to hear me. I needn’t have worried about that though because he was sitting on the couch and when I walked in his blue eyes met mine.
“H… hi.” I whispered.
“Hi.” He said back, looking at me. I took in his appearance. He hadn’t gained back any weight. He was extremely pale and his eyes seemed to stand out. They were the only part of him that looked alive, yet they looked dead at the same time.
What had I done?
“Aiden… I’m sorry I looked in that box… it was on the dresser and I was curious and… I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care…” he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Eric.”
“Of course it matters!” I exclaimed.
“You don’t care, why should I?!”
“I do care!” I said, tears filling my eyes. “This is so hard—.”
“So hard to go have sex with fucking Evan and whoever in the hell else you’ve slept with?!”
That hurt. I felt several tears fall down my face. “I never had sex with anyone, Aiden.” I said slowly. “I would never do that.”
“I never thought you’d let one feel you up either!”
“I didn’t! Not like that!”
“I saw you in the orchestra room!” he shouted angrily.
“How long were you fucking there? Long enough to see me slap him and rush off?!” I wiped my eyes. “I fucking love you, okay?! Look I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Aiden… I don’t know why I did this.”
“Well maybe you should fucking figure it out!”
I began to cry. “I tried so many times, Aiden… I c-can’t… I just… I feel like I c-can’t be happy or something… I don’t… I’m so sorry.”
Aiden stood up and came over to me. I tensed up, expecting him to hit me. Instead he wrapped his arms around me and led me to the couch. When we were sitting he rocked me back and fourth, kissing the top of my head.
It took me a good ten minutes to calm down. I stayed with my head buried in his chest, reveling in the feeling. I hadn’t been so close to him in so long.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“No.” I sniffed.
His arms went tighter around me and I reached out my hand. He unwrapped one arm from around me, sliding his hand into mine.
“I love you… I do, Aiden…” I sobbed, looking up at him.
“Shh… I love you too.” He whispered, rocking me. “So much, baby… its going to be okay.”
I nodded looking into his eyes.
“Just quit crying. We’ll lie down together and… catch up.”
I nodded and stopped crying. I was gasping for breath and water hiccoughing.
We made our way to his bed and both of us just lay on top of the covers. Aiden was rubbing my arm and I closed my eyes, relaxing under his touch. He was the only one who could calm me down just by touching me.
“Aiden, I… I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“Just don’t do it again.” He said playfully. “It’s going to be alright, baby. You’ll see… we’re going to be just fine.”
Aiden’s POV
I had barely drifted to sleep when I heard the front door close. My eyes snapped open and I crawled out of bed careful not to wake Eric, who had taken forever to get to sleep, up.
Daddy was closing the bedroom door as I came out. I made my way downstairs to find Dad cleaning up the kitchen.
“Hey.”
He jumped and turned around. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.” He gasped. “God… hey.”
I smiled. “Hi.”
“What’s up? Can’t sleep?”
“Yeah. Can I help?”
“Nah, I’m just… no. Want some peanut butter and Oreos?”
I smiled and nodded.
He got out a box of Oreos, the peanut butter, and grinned at me. “Couch?”
“Sure.”
We sat on the couch, really close. He put some peanut butter on an Oreo for me.
“I’m 17. I can do it myself.” I laughed.
“I know but you’re my baby.” He handed it to me and I nibbled on it. “How are you doing, babe? Did you eat today?”
“Yeah. My soup did stay down.” I said. “I didn’t eat lunch though.”
He ate an Oreo and nodded. “It’ll get better. You know it will.”
“I know…”
“You seem better today. About… things.” He said, smiling.
I finished my first Oreo. “I am.” I brushed hair from my face, nodding. “I am.”
“Sometimes things just… aren’t meant to be, Aiden… and maybe you and Eric are meant to be and will get back together… but I’m glad you’re better today.”
“We’re back together, Dad.” I said, feeling giddy. “Me and Eric… Dad, we worked it out! We’re back together!”
Dad’s eyes widened in shock. “You are?” he looked at me, almost dropping the peanut butter.
“Yeah… I’m just like… wow.” I said, feeling nervous. Like I was jinxing it by telling someone. I was also really excited though. This is what I’d wanted. I had wanted Eric to love to, to take me back. He had. “I can’t even… just…. Wow.”
“Oh, Aiden that’s great.” he said, hugging me. “Oh baby, that’s… I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. I mean, I know it’s gonna be awkward for a little bit but… We can do it. But uhm… I don’t wanna talk about it and jinx it so uhm…” I said excitedly. “Where were you and Dad?”
“Ray is in town. He’s gonna stay over the day after tomorrow.” Dad shrugged, and then laughed. “Jinx it… haha.”
“Well I just—.” I said, blushing.
“I’m kidding, babe. Just kidding.”
“So… when I saw Ray’s hair…” Dad shook his head and began giggling. “It’s… god… soon he’s gonna have gray hair and he’s still gonna have the fro.”
I pictured this—it was a very funny picture— began laughing hysterically. Dad began laughing as well. We’d stop laughing, look at each other, and begin laughing again. It was a vicious cycle that continued for about ten minutes.
“Hehe… wow… I missed Ray.” Dad sighed.
“I can’t wait to see him.” I said excitedly. “I mean, I saw him in the hospital but I can barely remember that.”
“Yeah…” he smiled at me. “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Mikey hadn’t decided to leave the band for his kids… ya know, what if we all give went on tour with our families in one small ass van?”
“I’d hate you.” I giggled.
“Aww, you always liked it when you were younger. You loved going and waking Davey up. When you were three you were convinced he was a vampire so you’d take cross and you had the celery stake—.” Dad started laughing and trailed off.
“Celery stake?”
“Yes. You got out of the house with a knife once but Bob caught you from behind. You were like ‘I’s a gotsta kill the Davey Vampires, Bibby.”
“Bibby?” I laughed.
“Yeah. You called him Bibby for a while because you couldn’t pronounce certain letters. You were always like ‘I gotta pippy, Daddy.’ When you had to poop.”
“Ewww.”
“Oh yeah. You were definitely fun to raise.” Dad sighed.
“So… uhm… when I was ten and eleven and was so mean to you guys… did you ever want to give me away?”
“What? No, Aiden…” Frank gasped.
“Its just I’d understand… I was so mean.”
“It’s okay… no, Aiden. It isn’t like because you’re adopted if I get mad at you I’m gonna throw you out. That thought never once crossed my mind or Gerard’s for that matter. Plus, I lucked out. You hated me for two years rather than the usual six.”
I nodded, smiling. “Okay… I just wondered…”
“Don’t you ever think stuff like that, okay?”
I nodded again and sighed.
“Babe, I know that you’re going through a lot and I know there’s going to be stuff that you can’t come to me to… but I’m here for you and anything you do… I’m just here.” Dad reached over and squeezed my hand. “Why don’t you go get some sleep, huh? I’ll see you in the morning, baby.”
“Alright... goodnight, I love you.” I hugged Dad tightly, nuzzling him.
“Hey, Aiden?” he asked, giving me a tight squeeze.
“Yeah, dad?” I asked, backing away from him a bit.
“I am really happy for you, babe… it’s nice to see you smile.”
"Thanks..." I smiled again and headed upstairs to bed...