The Pros and Cons of Loving

Part 18

Gerard’s POV

I came into the kitchen the next evening to find Frank at the stove cooking and humming something under his breath.

“Aww look at you.” I cooed, grinning.

He jumped and spun around. “Oh come ruin my fun.”

“I’m not. It’s just so cute. You’re a little housewife.”

“Housewife? I was humming the Misfits. How many housewives do that?” he scoffed, but he was smiling.

“Only mine.” I said, sliding my arms around his waist.

“I’m so glad Eric and Aiden made up.” He whispered. Last night when he’d come into our room for bed he had told me. I’d been a little sad Aiden told Frank first and not us together, but I knew that they were extremely close. They’d been all each other had after I left and I knew no matter how close Aiden and I got, they were always going to have that past. I was okay with it though… at least I was a part of their lives now.

“I know.” I sighed. “Maybe things will get bett—.”

The phone began to ring.

Frank sighed, handed me his soon, and ran for the phone. “Stir it— Hello? … Oh hi, Karen…”

I looked up as Frank came into the room with the phone. Why was she calling now?

“…What?... No, I understand… I just don’t know anymore…” Frank ran his hand through his hair, sighing. “Yes… I mean, we’ve tried… o-okay… yeah… thanks.” Frank hung up and looked at me. “Aiden… lost ten pounds.”

“What?”

“He lost ten pounds! Karen didn’t want to tell us in front of Aiden.”

“He’s been eating though. At least he’s been trying.”

“Karen says if this doesn’t end he’s going to end up in a hospital again. His heart can only take so much of this.”

“Frank, he’s been trying….”

“Then why isn’t he losing it and not gaining it?!”

I put my head in my hands, not able to deal with this. I knew Aiden was trying to eat. I saw him trying yesterday, the day before then. Frank had seen him eating too. I can’t believe he’s acting like Aiden’s doing this to himself. I was worried, yes. But I didn’t think Aiden was trying to harm himself.

“The dinner!” Frank shouted, running to the stove. “Damnit, Gerard! Can’t you do anything I ask?!”

I sighed and left, going into the living room.

Frank’s POV
That Night…

I know I should be happy Aiden and Eric are back together. I am, honestly.

I’m just worried. Karen called me today when they were at school so Aiden has no clue any of this is going on. He thinks things are normal but this dinner is being so awkward he has to know something is going on.

Someone who is trying to gain weight doesn’t lose ten pounds. And what’s worse is Aiden’s been looking really pale today; he looks like he’s fucking wasting away. He looked that way this morning before he left anyway. I’m hoping he’ll start to look a little better as they day goes on. I doubt it though. The same thing happened yesterday.

Usually when we all four eat dinner we’ll talk. Or at least Aiden and Eric will talk while Gerard and I talk. But today it’s very uneasy. Aiden and Eric are still testing their relationship I think. Gerard and I aren’t really saying anything because, as Gerard snapped when we were cooking dinner, it was pointless to talk to me because I was too busy worrying about Aiden anyway.

Well excuse me, my son is drastically losing weight. I think I have earned the right to be worried, Gerard. He says I’m taking it too far though.

“How was school?” Gerard asked. He looked desperate to end the awkward silence. Ever since we got back together he hated any conflict.

“Fine.” Aiden shrugged, pushing his mashed potatoes around on his plate. He loved mashed potatoes… well, he used to.

“How about you, Eric?” Gerard asked.

“It was okay…” Eric said, biting his lip.

I put some of my pasta into my mouth. Aiden took a bite of his macaroni and cheese and literally gagged, then began coughing.

“Are you okay?” Eric asked worriedly, putting his hand on Aiden’s back.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I just choked.” He forced a smile.

Eric dropped his hand, nodding. He also smiled back before he went back to eating.

I finished my plate and tapped my foot lightly, looking around. Gerard was done, Eric was almost there. Yet Aiden’s plate… yes, he’d touched it. He’d moved it around and eaten a few bites.

I met Gerard’s eyes and he mouthed ‘What?’

I glanced at Aiden’s plate and then nodded, getting annoyed.

“You not hungry, baby?” Gerard asked.

“My stomach hurts.” Aiden shrugged.

“Just eat some. Maybe it’ll help.” Gerard smiled.

Aiden swallowed some mashed potatoes looking like it was pure torture. Then he shoved some macaroni and cheese into his mouth, swallowing it all.

I took Gerard’s and my plate into the kitchen, sighing. At least he was eating some now.

Gerard came in, sighing as well.

“See, Gerard… he’s eating less than he used to.” I said, feeling anxious. My stomach twisted in knots.

“What are you saying?” Gee asked slowly.

“I’m saying what if our son is anorexic?” I said, looking him in the eyes.

“Frank… you know he’s trying to eat. We’ve been through this.”

“Do I?” I asked.

“…yes. You do. He tries every night.”

“Then why is he losing weight. Gerard?!”

“I don’t fucking know, Frank! Talk to him about it, not me!” he snapped and stormed off.

Aiden’s POV

“Aiden, I need to talk to you.”

I don’t know why but when Dad said that dread swept through me. “O… Okay.”

“Is something… are you not telling me something?” Dad asked slowly, staring at me.

“… No.” I said. “Dad, what’s going on?”

“Are you anorexic?”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me, Aiden.”

My eyes had widened in shock. “No! Are you fucking blind?! I try to eat!”

“I heard you throwing up! This morning before school!” Dad shouted, making me jump. He never shouted at me.

“I’ve told you a hundred times! IT WON’T STAY DOWN!” I said, shaking, after I’d gotten over the shock of being yelled at.

“Fucking swallow it!”

“Go swallow your fucking piss!” I screamed and stormed out of the house. I made my way towards Asher’s but on my way there, I ran into Jesse.

Hey.” He said. “Oh no... What’s wrong?”

“My dad. We, uh.. got into an argument.” I said lamely.

“About what?”

“It’s a long story.” I muttered.

“I don’t have anywhere to be.” He said.

“Okay…” I said and we walked in silence, eventually ending up at mine and Aiden’s park. I sat down on a wooden bench, sighing and looking around. I loved this place. I had kissed Eric by that big tree a little farther down for the first time. We always came down here… it was just our place. Whenever he was gone or anything I’d come down here and be a little happier… this place wasn’t the same without Eric though.

“Uhm… well I got bad pneumonia a few months back and I was… in the hospital a long time. I was on life support and shit so they had me on a feeding tube, right? Well when it was time for me to go home and eat… something was wrong. I just haven’t been able to eat since. My therapist thinks its stress because Eric and I broke up right when we got home… something happened to him that crushed him and we just needed some time lone.”

“You are Eric? The blond shy guy in our cultures class?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “We got back together last night.”

“Well congratulations.” Jesse smiled.

“Thanks… but anyway, yeah…. I’ve developed an eating disorder. I try to eat but it doesn’t stay down. I throw up or something… it’s weird. I just can’t stomach food. And Karen, my nutritionist, called my Dad today… I lost ten pounds and he uh… thinks I’m doing it to myself… and we got into this fight about it…”

“I kinda thought something was wrong with your eating.” Jesse whispered. “I’m sorry… Why are you under so much stress? Is it just Eric?”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know and no one believes me.”

His arms went around me. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

“I r-really don’t know… it was supposed to be okay earlier.”

“You just need to relax is all. You and Eric are back together so that should get rid of SOME of the stress.”

I nodded into his chest, still crying.

“Don’t cry… you’re too nice to cry. No one’s ever been as nice to me as you.” He whispered.

I sniffled and sat up, wiping my eyes.

“I just… I… can I kiss you?”

Jesse’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Can I kiss you?” I repeated.

“You’re… with Eric.”

I pressed my lips to his gently and felt him kissing me back. I scooted away, wiping my eyes.

“Nothing…” Jesse whispered. “Damn.”

“Yeah… nothing.” I sniffled. “I’m… uh… sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you… like that.”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me period.” Jesse said quietly.

“I… know.”

Jesse leaned in and kissed me again. I closed my eyes, feeling his hands in my hair. On my cheek.

All wrong. It was all wrong.

“I’m… sorry.” I whispered.

He nodded. “Yeah… me too.”

“I need to go…”

“This never happened.” Jesse says, nodding.

“Right… didn’t happen. Bye.” I stood up and, without another word, ran home, hating myself.