Who Can Really Blame You?

“Whatchya doing?” Talia asks over the phone.

“Shopping for furniture with my aunt,” I answer, pushing the cart around while my aunt looks at things. “I like that bed, Aunt Carol!” I exclaim, pointing to a race-car bed.

“Imagine getting laid in that,” she says, making me gasp.

“Did she just say that?” Talia asks, laughing.

“Yes,” I tell her, “And I was serious about that bed.”

“If Carter rides us, can we look for furniture with you? We’ll even help you move in! Let’s have a sleepover!” Talia screams.

“Sure,” I say, “As long as you don’t make a scene in here.”

“Yay!” she says, hanging up.

“You told her she could come?” my aunt asks. I nod.

“Yeah,” I say, “They offered to help me move in. I don’t wanna move all this crap in. Four more people will help a bunch.”

My aunt nods.

“Read me the list,” she tells me, pausing to look at towels.

“Uhm… kitchen is covered, except for food. Bedroom, we need a mattress, a bed, and sheets. Living room: couch, TV, a lamp… or something. Bathroom: towels, shampoo and stuff like that, and a shower curtain with ducks on it. Extra bedroom is the same as my room.” I read off to her. She nods, and grabs four lime green towels and tosses them into the cart.

“Let’s do the bathroom first,” she suggests. I nod, and she looks at shower curtains.

“Ducks!” I say, grabbing the box with the duck shower curtain in it, “They’re yellow!”

She rolls her eyes, but lets me get it. She takes the lime green towels out.

“I need those!” I exclaim.

“Yeah, these don’t match. I’m getting the yellow ones,” she says. I roll my eyes, just as I hear a familiar scream.

“Jacobs!” Talia screams. I turn to her, to see Tayler holding her back from running at me, Carter smirking at her, and Hadley in front of everyone else.

“We found you a great bed! It’s a racecar!” Hadley says. I laugh.

“The aunt said no,” I pout, as my aunt throws the bright yellow towels into the cart.

“Okay, bedrooms now,” Aunt Carol says, ignoring my previous statement.

“Bedrooms?” Talia asks, escaping and hugging me, “You have more than one?”

“Yeah,” I say smiling, and patting her back, “The place is awesome.”

“Someone owed me a favor,” Aunt Carol says. Talia high fives her.

“You’re the coolest 36 year old ever,” Talia says seriously, making my aunt bust out laughing.

“You’re ruining the mystery of my age,” she says smiling, “Let’s go get bed stuff.”

Tayler is dragged by Talia after my Aunt and Hadley follows them. I smile at Carter, keeping up my slow pace down the isle.

“So, things worked out?” he asks. I nod.

“I even got my license. I’m going to go look for a car tomorrow with my aunt,” I say proudly. Carter smiles.

“I like the shower curtain,” he says seriously.

“Me too,” I reply.

“Ainsley! We found another perfect bed!” Talia screams. My aunt shushes her. I roll my eyes.

“I honestly don’t care what kind of bed I get,” I admit to Carter. He smiles as we stop in front of everyone lying on a huge bed. “I want this one,” I say.

“It’s on sale though,” my aunt pouts, “I want to waste his money.”

“No, this one,” I say, taking up the tag and putting it in the cart, “They’ll deliver it right?”

“Probably,” My aunt pouts, then brightens, “Let’s buy an expensive headboard!”

“I don’t like them,” I say honestly, “Can we just get a simple bed frame and move on to sheets?”

“Fine,” she sighs, “But we’re getting the biggest thread count they carry.

“Whatever,” I say.

“Why does she want to waste money?” Carter asks me.

“The guy who owns my building gave me 12 months without rent and his credit card for furniture,” I say, making Carter’s jaw drop as everyone rushes ahead to sheets again, “He owed my aunt money.”

“A lot,” he agrees, “12 months?”

“Yeah,” I say smiling, “All of junior year I can spend my money how I want to.”

“Yay,” he says, “Can I ride in the cart?”

“Sure,” I shrug, and stop pushing it. He climbs clumsily over the sides of the cart and pushes my shower curtain out from under his butt. He holds the curtain happily. “Loser,” I snort, making him gasp.

“I am not,” he whines, “My mom never lets me do this anymore.”

“No wonder,” I say, pushing him down the isle, “You’re heavy as fuck.”

“Not,” he says.

“You’re getting these sheets,” my aunt says, dropping pink sheets onto Carter’s lap. He laughs.

“They’re pink,” I tell her.

“They’re 1200 thread count,” she says, “They cost $120.99!”

“Sweet,” I say rolling my eyes, “You’re lucky I’m gay enough for pink sheets.”

She ignores that and goes looking for a bed spread.

“Oh my god,” Carter says with his hand inside the plastic case of sheets, “Feel them!”

I do.

“They’re sheets,” I reply. He gasps.

“They’re all soft and wonderful!” he says, petting the sheets. I roll my eyes.

My aunt comes back with a bed spread with a spaceship pattern.

“I figured you might like it,” she says, “And it costs two hundred.”

“Thanks,” I say as she throws it to Carter, who catches it, “I do like it.”

She smiles before going back into the bed area to find a bed frame. I only know that’s what she’s looking for because she cusses about cheap bed frames. She comes back with a plain black one with wheels and puts the heavy box on the bottom rack of the cart.

“How much?” I ask.

“Seventy,” she mutters, obviously disappointed, “Now for the spare bedroom.”

“I want one of those mattress pads. The comfy kind, with feathers in it,” I say to her.

“Good idea! You go pick out stuff for the spare room and I’ll go find the mattress pad,” she says, rushing off. I push the cart along with Carter into the bed area, where I grab a mattress tag for a full sized bed, and pick nice sheets.

“See, my guests get white sheets and I have to sleep on pink ones,” I mutter, throwing the sheets to Carter. He catches them and feels them.

“They’re not as soft,” he tells me. I shrug.

“I don’t care.” I say, “Let’s get an awful bedspread for the spare room, yeah?” I ask. He nods, and I push him over to the bed spread shelves. “I like this one,” I say, looking at a bedspread with superman on it.

“Of course you do,” Carter says, “And your guests will too.”

I smile, and throw the bedspread to him.

“We need pillows,” I say suddenly, and push the cart to the pillows area. “Get out, and help me test these,” I tell Carter. He grudgingly gets out and comes over to help me squish pillows to see which one was softest.

“This one!” he exclaims, throwing me a pillow in a plastic bag. I hold it to my chest.

“I want it,” I say, “I want eight of them.”

He laughs and takes all of the kind of pillow I like from the shelf and sticks them in the cart.

“Now there’s no room for me,” he pouts.

“I’m upset too,” I lie obviously. He glares at me, but I just smile and grab a package of pillow cases that match the bedspread.

“I’m psyched for you, Ains,” Carter says randomly as I look at the couches. I sit down on one I like, and pat the spot next to me.

“Thank you,” I tell him, “I’m psyched for me too.”

Carter nods, and stands.

“I don’t like this one,” he tells me. I nod, and stick my hands out for him to help me get up. He does, and then pushes the cart down the isle to where everyone’s crammed on one big couch.

“What are you guys doing?” I ask.

“We found you a perfect couch,” Talia says, “And we’re tired. We ran around too much.”

“Get up,” I say. They do, but whine a lot. I sit down, and Carter falls onto the couch next to me.

“I do like it,” I admit, running my hand over the yellow cushion, “And the color isn’t blinding at all.”

“I want you to get it in green!” Talia exclaims, showing me the cards with color choices.

“Fine,” I say, “In green.”

“What else do we need now?” my aunt asks, waving someone over to help us.

“Food and a TV,” I reply.

“Food,” Tayler says slowly. I look between him and Talia, both of whom look dreamy.

“A lot of food,” I correct.

I fall onto the couch, very tired, and look at the TV, which is being hooked up by a cable guy the building owner had sent over.

“How much did we spend?” I ask my aunt.

“About… three thousand.” She says, and everyone busts out laughing. I stare at her. “No worries, he knows. I told him you were high style, and that we’d spend a lot of his money. He owed me a lot!”

I don’t answer her, mostly because I wasn’t planning on it, but also because Talia just tackled me.

“I love your house,” she says, her mouth full of mini corndogs, which kind of grosses me out.

“Not a house,” I correct her. She shrugs.

“I’ll call it what I want,” she says, popping another mini corndog into her mouth.

“Ew,” I say, “Chew?”

She closes her mouth and chews happily.

“All hooked up,” the cable guy says, handing me the remote, “You get like, 800 channels on that TV.”

“Saweet!” Tayler exclaims, snatching the remote from me and turning the TV on. He gapes at it. Hadley comes in, and tells him he’s a loser.

“Thank you,” I say to the cable man, who nods, shakes my hand, tips his hat to my aunt, and leaves.

“You have everything set here?” my aunt asks me. I nod, and shove Talia off me so I can stand to hug her.

“Thank you,” I tell her, hugging her.

“No worries,” she says, “You deserve to be happy.”

I nod, and smile. She pulls away, and hands me the keys to the apartment.

“I’ll be over tomorrow at five sharp to go find you a car,” she reminds me.

“Okay,” I say as Carter comes into the living room from the bathroom.

“Bye everyone!” My aunt calls out as she opens the door. A chorus of byes responds and she shuts the door.

“I live alone,” I say excitedly.

Hadley pounces on me.

“What should we do?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” Carter says.

“Let’s… Hmm,” Hadley says.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Talia exclaims.

Hadley agrees and together they force us all into playing.

“Okay, new legal adult,” Talia says, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Have you ever had a sex dream?” she asks. I go red, remembering my dream about Carter. But it wasn’t sex.

“No,” I tell her, pushing her lightly.

“Your turn,” Talia tells me.

“Okay, Hadley, t or d?” I ask her.

“Truth,” she says.

“Did you really realize you were bi when you found that awkward HBO thing on TV?” I ask. She turns red.

“Yes,” she says, covering her face.

“Those are hot,” Tayler says. We all look at him.

“Ew,” Talia says.

“Okay, Carter truth or dare?” Hadley asks him.

“Truth,” he replies.

“You guys are boring!” Talia exclaims. We ignore her.

“How’d you realize you were gay?” she asks. Carter turns red.

“Uhm… well, Kate and I were hanging out and she tried to… start something. And it didn’t happen, and I was kind of grossed out,” he explains, his face turning redder.

“Aw,” Talia and Hadley say. Carter covers his eyes.

“Okay, Ains, truth or dare?” Carter asks me.

“Truth,” I reply.

“Someone live a little! Get naked! Pick dare!” Talia exclaims. I ignore her.

“How’d you realize you were gay?” Carter asks me. My face goes red.

“Oh,” I say, “Uh, well… The first time I though about it… I was eight and my dad had called me gay and I didn’t know what it was so I looked it up, and I thought I might have been, but I didn’t know for sure until like seventh grade. It just hit me in science class.”

My face is very red now, so I focus on my bare feet, with the healing cuts hidden beneath the bandages.

“It just hit you?” he asks me. I nod.

“It really did,” Talia giggles, “I was there and he gasped all loud and was like “Oh my god, I think I’m gay.” And everyone said duh or just laughed.”

I remain silent.

“Talia, truth or dare?” I ask her.

“Dare,” she says proudly.

“Go ask the neighbor if you can borrow an ice cube for sexy time,” I tell her. She stands without hesitation, and leaves the apartment. I hear her talking in the hall with someone and not two minutes later she returns with an ice cube in her palm. She throws it at me.

“Who’d you talk to?” Tayler asks her.

“Some old lady,” she shrugs, sitting back down next to me.

“Poor woman,” Hadley says, “She’ll probably have nightmares.”

“Doubt it,” Talia says, “She gave me a sex tip about using it on my vagina.”

Tayler says he has to puke and runs to the bathroom where we hear him dry heaving while the rest of us just laugh.

“That’s awful,” I say after we’ve calmed down enough to speak.

“I thought it was sweet of her,” Talia admits. Tayler heaves again. I just fall into Hadley laughing.