Viper Returns to Hogwarts

The loud rumbles of engines filled my ears once more as my head peered into the hood of a car. “Mr. Johnson, don’t worry. It’s nothing expensive-OOOF!” I grunted upon hearing a noise near me. It sounded like a bird flew into the window.

“Uh, Miss Albatrosse? Are you alright?” Mr. Johnson placed his wrinkled hand on my lower back where I was sure my uniform was rising up…and where he was pushing it up.

“I’m fine!” I snapped, straightening up and swatting his hand away. Getting hit on by cuties with sports cars was one thing, but old guys with mini vans were another. After wiping the oil off on my denim-blue work pants that I had rolled up past my knees, I walked outside to see a silky black owl with piercing green eyes ruffling its feathers on the ground. “Russell…what are you doing here?” I asked him, kneeling front of him.

In a swiftness I could only expect from him, he flew up and poked my collar bone with his beak. I smiled, “Thanks.” When I said it to Russell, I really did mean it. Without even having to look down, I re-buttoned my work shirt. The buttons around my bust often came undone and it was rather annoying…especially with old creepers like Mr. Johnson roaming the shop.

“What else, boy?” Like a puppy, Russell trotted over to the windowsill where a brown envelope laid awkwardly. He picked it up and, with a twist of his head, flung it over to me. I smiled proudly: I trained him well. My brow creased when I saw the seal – a Hogwarts seal. “What did I do now?” I muttered to myself, opening it up. As always, the letter began to creepily talk to me.

“Miss Michella Albatrosse! We here at Hogwarts are pleased to inform you that your temporary suspension is now over! We will no longer hold you responsible for the trouble you’ve caused, although we cannot say the same for your peers. You are expected back immediately, as Hogwarts’ school year is halfway over and you’ve missed months of schoolwork. Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore and certified by the Ministry of Magic.” With that, the annoying voice subsided and the letter fell to the ground.

I raised an eyebrow, annoyed. Why did my uncle always ruin things for me?! “Hey, Uncle Henry!” I clenched my fists and ran to the back of the shop to find him.

“Yeah sweetie?” The only family I ever had asked, removing his welder’s mask. To anyone else, he didn’t look like the kind of guy to own a repair shop. For me, I just knew his secrets. How he always primped himself with magic every night before going to bed to rid his body of the lasting marks.

“I can’t believe you bribed Hogwarts to take me back!” I hissed. I surely owned up to my nickname, “Viper”. Annoying strands of my black bangs fell into my eyes, which I assumed were turning golden as well as my pupil narrowing into a slit – like a snake.

“Don’t you dare try to talk to me like that young lady.” His voice took on an icy tone. I always thought that just because I was the only other wizard he knew, he would always give me that tone. Luckily, I figured out that I was wrong in those seconds. It wasn’t because I was a wizard too…it was because I was the spitting image of him. I know he wasn’t my father, but I wasn’t anything like my parents.

“I did you a favor, ya hear? Being suspended, almost expelled, from that school isn’t doing ya no good. Sure, you’re a great mechanic and wizard, but you need to finish school.” He picked up the mask again, signaling his closing line was coming. We’ve had many talks like this before, and this was a trend I’ve always noticed. “Now go pack your bags. I’ll drive ya to the train station in a little bit…once I’m done with this chopper.” With that, I huffed and turned on the heel of my heavy-duty work boot.

Sometimes I just hated that, no matter how mad I was at Uncle Henry, I could never take my anger out on him once he began talking. Plus he never hit me, like dad used to do. Well, until I killed him. I giggled to myself, knowing that was my little secret.

“Now, Miss Albatrosse, about my car…” Mr. Johnson was watching me like a hawk, eyes focused too low to be my face. I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest.

“He’ll have to check it out. I have to pack.” I angrily walked past him, pissed that I could still feel his prowling brown eyes glued to my curves as I violently walked.

Taking the keys to my beat up Harley, I slipped off the button up shirt, fully aware that I was standing in a pervert-filled repair shop in only my white tank top that barely covered my lean stomach. Not to mention I was covered in grease and sweat, something these men had boners dreaming about.

As quickly as I could, I hopped on my bike and zoomed off, Russell hidden in the small cloth pouch on the back. On my way home, I got many cat-calls from every sort of male imaginable. A good part? I saw my ex-boyfriend’s jaw practically detach from his body when he and his new girlfriend – prissy Stacey Henning – were in her bright yellow Volkswagen Bug. The blonde bitch rolled her eyes as she “cooly” took off her designer-brand sunglasses.

“Ah, look what we have here. The chop shop reject.” She smirked, sitting at the red light beside me in her crisp and clean sleeveless tan turtleneck. I saw good ol’ Sammie Madison try to hide his face by shoving it on the first magazine he could from his backpack: Playboy.

“SAMMIE!” Stacey shrieked, slapping him across the face. I laughed, causing Sammie to look up and turn bright red before sinking into his seat.

“And look what we have here. Mr. and Mrs. Train wreck. Remember to have safe sex, even though you both have dicks.” I mocked and revved my bike as the light turned green. My baby might be old, but she’s still fast. I sped past the two before Stacey could even flip me off. What a feat I’d say.

Once I pulled into the small single-story house, I pulled my bike into the garage right next to my other baby – my jet black Camaro SS 2002. The seat covers were a black and purple Viper snake with green detailing around it. I love that car so much. I just CANNOT believe I have to part with my baby…but I have to do it.

Henry pulled in and he honked the horn twice – oh he meant business. I chuckled at my own sarcasticness as I ran over my belongings once more: iPod, iPod charger, CDs, Stephen King books, jackets – leather, flannel, fleece, and light cotton, shirts, jeans, shorts, my few skirts, both my combat boots and work boots – I would never forgive myself if I forgot them, regular sneakers and heels, a couple dresses, accessories, hair and beauty needs, as well as a few unmentionables. Wait – oh yes, that’s right…condoms were a part of the unmentionables. Taking one last look around my room, my stormy blue eyes couldn’t help but water. I was actually leaving for Hell…again!

Another honk from Henry’s white Chevy truck pulled me from my thoughts and I picked up my suitcase with ease. Russell gave me a hoot as a walked by him in my ripped jean shorts and black tank top, shorter than my white one. Hogwarts knew what was coming back to them! “Shush boy.” I chuckled, flicking Russell playfully at the top of his head. He shook a little at my touch.

He fluttered to rest on my shoulder, giving another hoot. I didn’t mind his talons digging into my skin one bit – I was used to it after all. I’ve had him since I was a first year, almost eight years ago. I knew I’d be forced to do another year, since this was supposed to be my graduating year.

“Ready to go sweetie?” Henry asked kindly, as always, ruffling my now-loose wavy black hair. After blowing a kiss to my Camaro, I sighed.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Resting my flip-flop-clad feet on the shiny dashboard, I looked out the window as we passed all the houses. I would miss everyone, even if they wouldn’t miss me. I know the old perverts would miss me. Mr. Johnson would miss me…especially Mr. Johnson. Just the thought of him sent shivers down my spine. “Relax, Viper. There’s not even a full year left. You can do it. You can make it.” I whispered to myself, glad Henry was blasting his favorite classic rock station. Aerosmith was currently rocking the station, making Henry tap the steering wheel violently to the drums.