Spiderdom and the Quest for the Sky Cat

“So then, with a mighty BOOSH, this fish appeared from nowhere and I was—”

“Excuse me?”

“I was talking to myself. Evilly.”

“Alright then.” Dom pulled a face. Dementia certainly was getting a bit weird these days. It was Bee’s fault, he was pretty much certain of it. “Now, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you know that hangover cure you gave me and Lime?”

“Us, Dom, you two are an us now,” Dementia said, sounding happy. “What about my cure, anyway?”

“It actually, well, it actually worked,” Dom said meekly, scratching behind his neck.

Dr Dementia gave him a broad grin.

“You know what, Dom?” Dr Dementia said, skipping, quite literally skipping, over to him and taking his wrist. “I think I’m in love.”

“Really?” Dom said, eyebrows doing a little dance on his forehead.

“I mean, you’re everything I want and—”

“Excuse me? I’m everything you want? Matt, what’s going on?”

Dementia flattered himself against Dom’s chest. “Oh, I love it so much when you say my name, Dommie!”

Dom’s breath began to quicken, his heart beating some really fast drum-beat out in his chest. “Matt, please get off me right now…”

But the truth was, he wanted this to happen, he’d always wanted it deep down.

So Matt stood on his toes and kissed Dom.

“NO!” Dom yelled, jerking out of his sleep and wiping his mouth. Lime was grinning at him from her place on the sofa in the waiting room of Dementia’s HQ. He’d fallen asleep on the desk.

“Bad dream?” she asked sympathetically, wandering over to him and sitting on his desk. “I’ve had about ten thanks to that concoction your friend Dr. Dementia gave me. In one of them I was wearing white, I mean come on, me, Lime, wearing white? And you and I—” she petered to a close.

Dom looked at her carefully. “Me and you what?”

“Played strip Boggle,” she answered rather lamely. “I was thinking, Dommie—”

“Please don’t call me that,” Dom said weakly, rubbing his eyes. “I have bad memories associated with that name.”

“Sorry. I was thinking. Maybe we should go out again sometime. Just you, me and…”

“No alcohol?” Dom asked, grinning.

“No alcohol,” Lime agreed, smiling. She swung her legs over all the stationary and slipped off the other end of the desk, landing on Dom’s lap.

“You totally meant to do that, didn’t you?” Dom smirked.

“Of course I did, I’m a stripper,” Lime replied, attaching her lips to his.

And that was when Dr. Dementia walked in.

He shrieked and covered his eyes. “Eww, eww, eww, kissing! EWW!” he yelled.

Dom stood up, glaring at him. “Matt, for hell’s sake, just get the hell out of here! I quit, alright? I quit! I quit your stupid job, I’m going to do some good in the world, and if you find that stupid Sky Cat then I will make it my mission to find an antidote, so I can wait a hundred years and watch you crumble and die when I give it to you! I AM SPIDERDOM!”

He ripped off his clothes and stood there in all his Spiderdom-y glory, glaring daggers at Dementia, who stood in the doorway, open mouthed.

“I thought we were friends, Dom,” he said in a quiet voice. “I thought we were best friends.”

“So did I,” Dom said, stalking out of the room. He paused in the doorway. “But I think we stopped being friends a long time ago. See you later, Lime.”

And he left the room.

Lime picked up his shirt—a leopard skin-print number—and stared at it. “Somehow, I have no idea how, Dom looks good when he wears this.” She followed Dom, leaving Dementia alone.

A single tear rolled down Matthew’s hollowed cheek. “Don’t leave me alone,” he said to the closed door. “I can’t do it alone.”