Without You, I'm Just Me

A month passed, and Patrick and I were just as close as we’d ever been. He’d been spending a lot of time with his band, but always managed to make time for me. Tonight we were going to see a movie, so I’d spent the last hour trying to pick the perfect outfit although I knew Patrick would tell me I looked beautiful regardless. I heard the doorbell ring and screamed, grabbing my handbag from the end of the bed I ran down the staircase. I opened the door and saw Patrick beaming as soon as he saw me. I kissed his cheek. “Ready to go?”
He looked at me and bit his lip. “Well actually.. Pete decided we should get some more practice in before we start recording next weekend so we won’t be able to go to the movies. I am really sorry Angie.”
I frowned. “Oh..” I could tell Patrick felt guilty about ruining my night. “Umm, if you really want you can come hang out with us, and we can watch a movie at my house afterwards. I mean if you want to, you don’t have to but I didn’t want to spend the entire night without you.” he ran his fingers through mine pleadingly. I didn’t want to disappoint him, and spending time with his band still meant I’d be able to spend time with him. “Of course I’ll come, I mean it still means I get to spend time with you, so it can’t be that bad.” He smiled and led me out the door.

Pete stopped playing bass and kicked Patrick in the shin. Patrick took his gaze off me and frowned at Pete. “What the hell was that for?” Andy and Joe stopped playing and stayed silent exchanging glances. Pete frowned at him. “You only sung the chorus once, and its meant to be sung twice.” Patrick rolled his eyes. “Is that it? What’s the big deal with that?”
Pete looked annoyed. “Well you’re not singing it right and we’re meant to be recording next weekend. If you stopped making eyes at your girlfriend over there, then maybe you’d be able to concentrate more on getting this right rather than whether she’ll screw you later.” I didn’t know what to say, I looked over at Joe and Andy who both gave me sympathetic looks, then turned back to Pete and Patrick. Patrick looked upset at Pete’s verbal attack at our relationship. “Are-are you calling my girlfriend a whore?”
Pete shook his head quickly. “No, I’m calling you a normal guy, thinking about something guys normally think about.” Patrick looked over at me and blushed when I looked away. Pete laughed. “Oh come on Patrick, you can’t tell me you’ve never though about doing it with Angie before, what about what you told me that night-” Patrick punched Pete in the arm, hard enough that Pete grabbed his arm and shot Patrick a look. “How about we get back to practice?” Joe was eager to stop anymore awkwardness, so I mouthed a “thank you” to him. He smiled and started playing, causing Pete to pick up his bass and begin to play too. I let out a deep breath and tried not to look at Patrick who was trying his hardest not to look at me. The next 20 minutes of practice was pretty much just as awkward. I have to admit I was relieved when it was over.
As soon as practice was over, everyone made a beeline for Patrick’s couch to watch the movie. Pete had already put the movie in the VCR and turned off the lights, and Joe was coming back from the kitchen with snacks. As I slowly walked towards the couch, I could see there were no spots left. Patrick looked up at me, and tried to make space unsuccessfully. I smiled at his efforts and sat in the spare armchair. Patrick looked disappointed that he’d left me to sit on my own. “Hey can someone swap seats with Angie for me?” Nobody moved for a while, then suddenly Andy stood up and walked over. I smiled at him and mumbled a quick thanks before sitting next to Patrick on the couch as the movie began. Patrick smiled and ran his fingers through my hair, holding me to his chest. I smiled up at him and he kissed me on the forehead. Suddenly, he pulled me up so that I was sitting on his lap, and wrapped his arms around my waist, gently kissing my neck. He rubbed my thighs, slightly lifting the hem of my mini skirt. I blushed when I realised Pete was staring at us rather than the TV screen like everyone else, but Patrick didn’t seem to notice. He ran his hand underneath my t-shirt, and I started thinking about what Pete had said before. If you stopped making eyes at your girlfriend over there, then maybe you’d be able to concentrate more on getting this right rather than whether she’ll screw you later. Oh come on Patrick, you can’t tell me you’ve never though about doing it with Angie before, what about what you told me that night… What had Pete meant by that last comment? Was Patrick like every other guy and only wanted sex from me? What had he told Pete? Patrick paused and frowned before whispering in my ear. “Is everything alright? You look worried.”
I smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, I’m alright, except for the fact that Pete is watching us.” Patrick blushed and looked at Pete who quickly turned to the TV screen. “Sorry, I didn’t even realise.” He removed his hand from underneath my t-shirt and held my hand instead. Andy suddenly stood up. “Well I’ll see you guys next weekend, I’ve gotta go.” We all said our goodbyes and went back to the movie until Joe jumped up two minutes later. “Dude, we have to pick up the pizza, come on!” he grabbed Patrick’s wrist and pulled. Patrick groaned and grabbed my hand. “Why do I have to go, can’t you take Pete?” Pete looked up at the sound of his name, then back to the TV. Joe pulled on his wrist again. “No, YOU have to come because we put them under your name.” Patrick groaned exaggeratedly and slowly climbed off the couch. He kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a minute.” I smiled as he walked out the door. Pete gasped. “Wait, where’s mine?” Patrick gave him the finger as he walked down the hallway. “I love you too baby.” Pete called down the hallway, causing me to giggle. Patrick reversed the car down the drive way and drove out of sight, leaving Pete and I awkwardly alone. The movie had finished so we couldn’t pretend to be watching that. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and ask Pete for the truth. “Pete, does Patrick want me to have sex with him?” Pete looked a little uneasy at the straightforwardness of my question. “Why are you asking me that? That’s something you should be asking him about.” I sighed. “But he tells you everything, and you said something earlier, about how he told you something the other night.” Pete moved around on the couch awkwardly. “Oh that, it’s not a big deal or anything I just asked him one night that if he could sleep with anyone who he would sleep with and he said you. So I asked him if he’d ever thought about doing it with you before and he said I guess so, but that was about it. Why did you want to know so badly?”
I sighed loudly and shook my head. Pete gave me a concerned look. “You don’t think he’s being romantic with you just in the hope that he scores with you, do you?” I shrugged my shoulders, and Pete sighed. “What would make you think that?”
“Isn’t that what guys usually hope to gain from a relationship? I mean, you’re a guy, is that what you want out of a relationship?” Pete looked at me guiltily. “I don’t think you should be judging your relationship with Patrick on any relationships I’ve ever been in. I mean, Patrick genuinely cares about you more than any guy I’ve ever seen care about a girl before, and he’s only 17. If he ever did sleep with you, he’d do it because he loves you not because he wanted to prove he was a man or something.” I smiled, satisfied with Pete’s answer. Pete walked over and enveloped me in a tight hug. “And don’t worry, if Patrick ever turned into a normal guy, I would be the first one to kick his ass if he took advantage of you.” I giggled and sat back on the couch.
Five minutes later, I heard the front door opening and Joe walking in carrying all the boxes of pizza. Patrick came in a few moments later and I lunged into his arms. I moaned and pulled away in disgust, Pete laughing. “Ugh, what happened to you?” I looked down at my now see-through blouse. Patrick blushed at my now visible bright red bra. “It was raining pretty heavy outside and Joe left me to try and lock the car in the rain. So now I’m soaking wet.” He slid off his drenched jacket and placed it on the front door handle. “Umm, come with me I’ll find you something else to wear.” He offered me his hand and led me down the hallway as Pete and Joe stuffed their faces full of pizza. We walked into his room and he went over to his wardrobe, throwing clothes all over the floor. He pulled out a paper bag and handed it to me. “I bought this for you last weekend, but I wanted to wait until the right time to give it to you.” I smiled and pulled out a red t-shirt with black and grey striped sleeves underneath. I gasped. “wow, that is so pretty.” I started unbuttoning my blouse and Patrick blushed. “Oh I should turn-” I giggled and finished unbuttoning the blouse, and picked up the red shirt. Patrick turned slightly, trying not to look. “Are you done?”
“Yeah.” Patrick turned around and instantly blushed at the sight of me in my red bra, causing me to laugh uncontrollably.
Patrick frowned at me then threw a pillow at my chest. I turned away giggling. “Your reaction was priceless! I just wish I’d had a camera with me!” Patrick wrapped his arms around my waist and held me above his head, and I screamed in delight.
Pete slammed open the door. “What is taking so long? You’re pizza is getting cold, oh-” We both paused and Patrick put me back on the floor, blushing. I grabbed the t-shirt from the bed and put it on quickly. Patrick grabbed my hand as we walked back down the hallway with Pete.