Shatter

“Gee?”

He slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head, blinking several times.

“Are you feeling better?” Frank asked softly, placing a hand on his back. Gerard shook his head miserably.

“How could this have happened?” he whispered. Frank tried to hug him, but he shrugged it off and slid away from his friend. Frank looked at him with confusion, but said nothing. “I…I let this happen…I ruined everything. And I-” He paused to stop more deep sobs from escaping his pale, parted lips. He wanted to speak, but he almost broke into tears again.

“And I never got to say goodbye…”

“It wasn’t your fault it was a closed casket,” Frank assured him. “It was whoever…” He swallowed nervously. “Wh-whoever killed him.”

“I can’t believe what- what they did to him,” Gerard said with a sigh. “They…couldn’t even tell it was him.”

“I know, Gee,” Frank said sadly, still unsure of what to do. Gerard glanced sideways at him, shuffling even further away.

“Could you just…leave me alone?” he muttered softly. Frank gave him a sympathetic look and stood, walking towards the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned back enough for Gerard to see just one of his eyes, had he even been looking. The older Way brother was now sitting at his desk, staring at a piece of paper as blank as the look on his face. He lifted one hand and picked up a thin drawing pencil, then began to drag it across the paper.

Frank gave a thankful half-smile. Drawing had always been Gerard’s escape, the one thing that seemed to keep him sane. It was the one thing he could trust.

And Frank knew there were much worse things he could do.

The almost-smile suddenly dropped from his face, as if it, too, was too much for him to bear.

“Gerard…I know this is kind of sudden…but I have to leave,” he said with difficulty. Gerard just froze.

“Why?” he asked in a childlike voice. The sound sent shivers down Frank’s spine. “You’ve only been here for two days. It’s been eight years since I last saw you…since the band broke up.” He turned around, the gray pencil still dangling between his fingers like a forgotten cigarette. “You can’t leave. I need you here.”

“I’m sorry, Gee,” Frank said with a cracking voice. He felt his heart sink at the hurt, helpless look on his friend’s face. “But I have a family to get back to. Jamia’s supposed to have the baby any day now, and I need to be there.”

“You need to be here!” Gerard wailed. He slammed the pencil on the desk, and Frank winced at the sound of splintering wood. “I’m losing my mind, Frankie.” Frank swallowed nervously again. He hadn’t heard his nickname in quite some time. Gerard’s voice suddenly dropped to a calm, low tone, though laced with a dark quality.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning around and giving his attention back to the mess of lines he called a sketch. Frank turned to face him completely, leaning against the door frame.

“It…it was great to see you again, Gee-”

“Stop it,” Gerard broke in, still speaking in that dark, quiet tone that frightened Frank more than when he had shouted.

“Stop what?”

“Calling me that.”

“I’m sorry. It was great to see you, Gerard.” Frank corrected himself with no hint of sarcasm in his voice. Gerard gave a furtive nod in response. In truth, Frank didn’t want to leave. He wanted to be friends with Gerard again, and Ray and Mikey, too.

But not now. Not like this.

“It’s really too bad that this had to be what brought us back together,” he said, staring at the carpeted floor. “I wish I could spend more time with you.”

“But you can’t,” Gerard continued for him, never removing his eyes from the paper. His tone suddenly became biting and venomous, much like a cobra attacking its prey. “Because you have better things to do, don’t you?”

“I flew here from the other side of the country!” Frank suddenly shouted. Gerard’s shoulders jarred in surprise, but other than that he did not move. “I thought this was what you wanted! To see all of us again! We’re here to help you!”

Again, Gerard froze mid-pencil-stroke. Something in Frank’s tone, in his words, didn’t sound exactly right.

“Help…me?” he questioned. He turned back just enough for Frank to see one of his eyes, and their gazes locked. Frank slowly nodded, unblinking.

“Yes. Help you,” he said flatly. With that, he suddenly seemed at a loss for words, and he turned and walked away, leaving behind a blank-faced, desolate Gerard.

He stood and walked towards the open door that allowed yellow light to flood the room. Frank’s shadow interrupted the light with a black, shapeless form that was quickly retreating from him. He suddenly took off running, feeling tears slip past his eyes once again.

Frank slowly shuffled down the hallway with his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor as if the answer to his problems was woven into the pale carpet somewhere. The powder blue color had become a sickly turquoise-green in the lurid yellow light emanating from the row of spaced lights embedded in the ceiling. He heard the dull, unmistakable thud of footsteps, but figured they could only be his own, as evenly spaced as the lights pouring their glow down onto him-

Two powerful, black-clad arms suddenly encircled him from behind. His heart leapt into his throat in a flash of fear, and the force of the impact threw him forward. He somehow managed to keep his footing. He almost struggled against whoever it was, but he quickly relaxed.

“Gerard, I-”

“You can’t leave,” Gerard said stubbornly, sobbing into the back of Frank’s shoulder. Frank gingerly removed Gerard’s arms from around his shoulders, but immediately turned around and embraced his friend.

“I know, Gee.”

Gerard didn’t bother correcting him.