Tales From Another Broken Home

“What?” she asked confused “All I did was send Lolly up to tell you the stuff you said about yourself wasn’t true, because I knew you wouldn’t believe me! I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d mind it was just-” she started.

“Not Lolly!” I cut her off “I couldn’t give a fuck about Lolly! I’m talking about Jamia! What did you say to her?! Or more to the point why did you feel the need to even fucking talk to her?!” I fumed.

“Look, Frank,” she started but I stopped her again.

“NO! For once in you’re life Charlie shut the fuck up and listen to someone else!! I’m sick of you always getting involved in things that don’t concern you! Do you realise any chance I had of getting back with Jamia is gone now!? And it’s because of you!” I said venomously.

I know what you’re thinking, how can I say those things to her when she was only trying to help, even more to the point, when she’s sick.

Well I fucking can! She’s ruined everything! I don’t want Lolly! I want Jamia! But that’s never going to happen ever again!

“ She was cheating on you!” Charlie shouted back at me.

“I don’t care!!” I shouted louder.

“Well I do! Ok Frank? I fucking care! And I’m sorry for caring about you! I’m sorry for caring about any of you!!! If I hadn’t met you guys none of the shit that’s happened in my life would have happened!” she screamed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?! You think Gerard and me are the reason you’re fucked up? Here’s a little news bulletin for you Charlie, you were fucked up way before you met us. So don’t you dare try and work you’re way out of screwing up by trying to make me feel guilty!” I raged back.

“I wasn’t!” she screamed at me before breaking down into tears.

“No? Then what the fuck was that little speech about Charlie huh?!” I questioned

“That’s enough!” Lolly shouted from the door way, a look of anger plastered on her face.

“Leave it Lolly, this -” I started only to be cut off by her.

“No, you leave it Frank! You don’t have to give a fuck about me if you don’t want to, I really couldn’t give a shit! But when you start on Charlie for trying to help and messing up by accident I do give a shit! How dare you start screaming at her! Break ups are hard but you can’t take it out on the people you love! What the fuck is wrong with you? You know she’s sick!” Lolly snapped at me.

Fuck, she must have heard what I said about her…..

I wish she didn’t, I do care about Lolly, and I do care about Charlie. I just….god I don’t even know anymore, everything’s just so fucked up.

“I’m, I’m sorry, I do care about both of you…I just….I’m sorry,” I whispered before running back to my room.

I can’t believe I just said all that to Charlie, I can’t help but think of all the damage I must have caused.

If I could go back in time I’d change all of this.

But I can’t go back in time, and there’s no way to take back what I said…I guess I’ll just….just try and fix it.

But how can you fix something that’s probably broken beyond all repairs?

How do you fix a broken heart? How do you fix hurt feelings? How do you fix someone’s mind?