Status: i don't have my computer as of 09/04/10. i need to focus on my school work. but maybe if you comment, i can steal it back. i need to know you care.
I Know What You're Going Through
And I'm winning everytime
(Rose)
I can’t believe I just kissed Pete.
And then he just left.
I mean the situation was just a little fucked up. But did he really just have to leave.
I took a big leap kissing him back and it scared me, but what scared me even more was him leaving.
He was probably going to start rumors now about how I wanted to rape him in my house and I tried to too.
I might as well just finish my life right now, before the torturing gets worse. I ran up to my room, locked my door, sat on my bed, and stared at Pete’s window crying.
Why couldn’t he just say that he loved me or some shit in instead making me feel like a piece of shit, once again? Man, he’s really good at this; he should do it as a living when he grows up.
And the worst part is, as much as I hate him right now possibly more than I’ve ever hated before ever, I still can’t help but love him. The fact that he did this, kind of only makes me want him in some weird twisted way. I know it doesn’t make much sense, I barely get it, but its how I feel.
As I balling my eyes out, I barely noticed myself slowly falling asleep. I woke up to my alarm going off the next morning at 6. I had hoped the whole thing was a terrible nightmare, and I had successfully convinced myself of this until I looked in the mirror and noticed the remains of my eyeliner in black in lines on my face. I wanted to run into bed and I almost did, until my mother began knocking on my bed to make sure I was up. It nice to know they finally kind of care, not really though.
I ran to bathroom, washed my face and put my hair and reapplied my makeup. I quickly threw on jeans and some random sweatshirt over the black tank top I was already wearing and texted Joe saying I needed a ride. I was not taking the bus with all those people who probably already knew and I was sure not being in a confined space with Chrys for 15 whole minutes, I would kill someone either way.
I quickly ate some cereal and ran outside when I heard a honking.
I saw Pete’s car waiting in the driveway and my heart sank. This was a new level of cruel, even for him. I walked up to the drivers. [strike]He looked really good.[/strike] He rolled down the window.
“You know you’re supposed to get in on the other side?”
“Why are you here?”
“Your friend texted me that you needed a ride and he thought it would be a good idea if I drove you.”
“And how exactly did he get your number?”
“I don’t know. But you better get in the car, unless you want to be late.”
“Whatever” I mumbled and walked over the other side of the car and climbed in.
I buckled up and prepared myself for the hellish ride.
(Pete)
I know I messed when I just walked away from Rose yesterday after she had kissed me. I knew I had to fix it.
When I got home, used my connections and got that guys phone number, I figured she had called him already. Apparently she hadn’t, according to him. But he said if she did say anything, he’d let me know.
I was worried. I know how I feel; I can only imagine how she must feel. She must hate me, want to kill me. Or kill herself, which is even worse. I was so worried about it all I didn’t sleep at all that night. I stared at my window, blinds closed. I was in a daze, any noise I heard was magnified, I was going crazy.
When my alarm went off at 5:30, I almost had a heart attack. I jumped out of bed, made a pot of coffee, drank the whole thing, ran around the block a couple times, took a shower, and got dressed. And it was only 6:30. Fuck.
I checked my phone and I had one text message from that guy, whose name is Joe. He said she wanted him to drive her to school, but thought, given the situation, it would be better if I drove her. I agreed and told him I would.
I quickly changed my outfit in something that looked extra good on me. I ran down to clean out my car, it looked like shit, and I didn’t want Rose seeing it like that. I checked my phone. I was a quarter to; I should go pick her up.
I started my car, pulled into the next driveway, and honked my horn. Rose came out, looking beautiful in simple outfit. Only she could pull off the bare minimum and still look like a model. When she saw that it was me rather than her friend, I could the disappointment spread on her face. She walked up to my window. I rolled down the window.
“You know you’re supposed to get in on the other side?” I said sarcastically
“Why are you here?”
“Your friend texted me that you needed a ride and he thought it would be a good idea if I drove you.”
“And how exactly did he get your number?”
“I don’t know. But you better get in the car, unless you want to be late.”
“Whatever” she mumbled and walked over the other side of the car and climbed in.
I pulled out of the driveway and looked over at her, she was staring out the window.
“So what up?”
“I don’t know, you tell me”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well you’re the one that kissed me and just left. And then you come and pick me up and expect me to be all happy and shit. So you tell me, why? Why did you just leave? Why are you the one driving me to school? You know everyone is going to talk shit about you driving me; all the rumors are going to start. And you’re going to make one about how my mom begged you to drive so you sound all nice, when really just sound asshole tease who can’t keep it in his pants.” She said with a sigh.
“I left because I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you. And you obviously like me back; otherwise you wouldn’t have kissed me back.” I said with a smirk.
“I’m driving you to school because I want to talk to you about this. I don’t give a shit about people starting rumor.” She silently laughed
“They can talk all they want, as long as you’re happy and/or with me. And I know in the past, I have said shit like that about you and even worse, but it was because I was afraid and hurt and pressured. I never mean to hurt you; I only wanted to fit in.” I took a deep breath.
“But now I’m tired of that shit, I just want to be happy with myself. I’m not happy on the soccer team; I’m not happy with those people who think we’re friends. I’m only happy when I’m playing my bass and when I’m with you.”I pulled into the school parking lot, parked and took her hand and look right into her eyes.
“And I know you probably hate me for all the shit I’ve said, but I’m begging for your forgiveness. And I know you probably don’t trust me, and I can’t just tell you that I’m going to be better, I think only time can show that you’re want I need and you need me too.”
“Pete, this is a lot. I mean too much for me to take in all at once. I don’t know if can do this.” She said and took her hand back and climbed out of the car. I thought I saw tears falling from her face. I knew she had to trust me, and I knew just the way to make her trust me.
I can’t believe I just kissed Pete.
And then he just left.
I mean the situation was just a little fucked up. But did he really just have to leave.
I took a big leap kissing him back and it scared me, but what scared me even more was him leaving.
He was probably going to start rumors now about how I wanted to rape him in my house and I tried to too.
I might as well just finish my life right now, before the torturing gets worse. I ran up to my room, locked my door, sat on my bed, and stared at Pete’s window crying.
Why couldn’t he just say that he loved me or some shit in instead making me feel like a piece of shit, once again? Man, he’s really good at this; he should do it as a living when he grows up.
And the worst part is, as much as I hate him right now possibly more than I’ve ever hated before ever, I still can’t help but love him. The fact that he did this, kind of only makes me want him in some weird twisted way. I know it doesn’t make much sense, I barely get it, but its how I feel.
As I balling my eyes out, I barely noticed myself slowly falling asleep. I woke up to my alarm going off the next morning at 6. I had hoped the whole thing was a terrible nightmare, and I had successfully convinced myself of this until I looked in the mirror and noticed the remains of my eyeliner in black in lines on my face. I wanted to run into bed and I almost did, until my mother began knocking on my bed to make sure I was up. It nice to know they finally kind of care, not really though.
I ran to bathroom, washed my face and put my hair and reapplied my makeup. I quickly threw on jeans and some random sweatshirt over the black tank top I was already wearing and texted Joe saying I needed a ride. I was not taking the bus with all those people who probably already knew and I was sure not being in a confined space with Chrys for 15 whole minutes, I would kill someone either way.
I quickly ate some cereal and ran outside when I heard a honking.
I saw Pete’s car waiting in the driveway and my heart sank. This was a new level of cruel, even for him. I walked up to the drivers. [strike]He looked really good.[/strike] He rolled down the window.
“You know you’re supposed to get in on the other side?”
“Why are you here?”
“Your friend texted me that you needed a ride and he thought it would be a good idea if I drove you.”
“And how exactly did he get your number?”
“I don’t know. But you better get in the car, unless you want to be late.”
“Whatever” I mumbled and walked over the other side of the car and climbed in.
I buckled up and prepared myself for the hellish ride.
(Pete)
I know I messed when I just walked away from Rose yesterday after she had kissed me. I knew I had to fix it.
When I got home, used my connections and got that guys phone number, I figured she had called him already. Apparently she hadn’t, according to him. But he said if she did say anything, he’d let me know.
I was worried. I know how I feel; I can only imagine how she must feel. She must hate me, want to kill me. Or kill herself, which is even worse. I was so worried about it all I didn’t sleep at all that night. I stared at my window, blinds closed. I was in a daze, any noise I heard was magnified, I was going crazy.
When my alarm went off at 5:30, I almost had a heart attack. I jumped out of bed, made a pot of coffee, drank the whole thing, ran around the block a couple times, took a shower, and got dressed. And it was only 6:30. Fuck.
I checked my phone and I had one text message from that guy, whose name is Joe. He said she wanted him to drive her to school, but thought, given the situation, it would be better if I drove her. I agreed and told him I would.
I quickly changed my outfit in something that looked extra good on me. I ran down to clean out my car, it looked like shit, and I didn’t want Rose seeing it like that. I checked my phone. I was a quarter to; I should go pick her up.
I started my car, pulled into the next driveway, and honked my horn. Rose came out, looking beautiful in simple outfit. Only she could pull off the bare minimum and still look like a model. When she saw that it was me rather than her friend, I could the disappointment spread on her face. She walked up to my window. I rolled down the window.
“You know you’re supposed to get in on the other side?” I said sarcastically
“Why are you here?”
“Your friend texted me that you needed a ride and he thought it would be a good idea if I drove you.”
“And how exactly did he get your number?”
“I don’t know. But you better get in the car, unless you want to be late.”
“Whatever” she mumbled and walked over the other side of the car and climbed in.
I pulled out of the driveway and looked over at her, she was staring out the window.
“So what up?”
“I don’t know, you tell me”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well you’re the one that kissed me and just left. And then you come and pick me up and expect me to be all happy and shit. So you tell me, why? Why did you just leave? Why are you the one driving me to school? You know everyone is going to talk shit about you driving me; all the rumors are going to start. And you’re going to make one about how my mom begged you to drive so you sound all nice, when really just sound asshole tease who can’t keep it in his pants.” She said with a sigh.
“I left because I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you. And you obviously like me back; otherwise you wouldn’t have kissed me back.” I said with a smirk.
“I’m driving you to school because I want to talk to you about this. I don’t give a shit about people starting rumor.” She silently laughed
“They can talk all they want, as long as you’re happy and/or with me. And I know in the past, I have said shit like that about you and even worse, but it was because I was afraid and hurt and pressured. I never mean to hurt you; I only wanted to fit in.” I took a deep breath.
“But now I’m tired of that shit, I just want to be happy with myself. I’m not happy on the soccer team; I’m not happy with those people who think we’re friends. I’m only happy when I’m playing my bass and when I’m with you.”I pulled into the school parking lot, parked and took her hand and look right into her eyes.
“And I know you probably hate me for all the shit I’ve said, but I’m begging for your forgiveness. And I know you probably don’t trust me, and I can’t just tell you that I’m going to be better, I think only time can show that you’re want I need and you need me too.”
“Pete, this is a lot. I mean too much for me to take in all at once. I don’t know if can do this.” She said and took her hand back and climbed out of the car. I thought I saw tears falling from her face. I knew she had to trust me, and I knew just the way to make her trust me.
♠ ♠ ♠
i don't know how old you have to be to drive in illinois, but for the story's purposes, it's 15.PLEASE COMMENT.
ok i love you all.