Moving On Up

“You haven’t changed a bit.” I said softly, stroking Nick’s cheek and allowing a soft smile to grace my lips.

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a very good thing.” I grinned, biting down on my bottom lip.

It was 10am and Mark was at work, Nick didn’t have practice and I didn’t have any lectures, meaning Nick and I had the day to ‘get to know each other’ as Mark said. We sat on Nicks bed facing each other, my legs loosely wrapping around his hips whilst his lay on either side of me.

“Despite how big and famous you get; you’ll always be a dork.” I laughed.

“I get that from you.” He grinned, sending me a wink and rubbing his hands down my feet gently. He sighed and held out his arms, a warmth to his eyes. “Give me a cuddle Charlene.”

I scooted forward so I was straddling him and looped my arms around his neck, letting him gently rock us from side to side. “I’m glad it’s not awkward between us.”

I turned my head and smiled down at him. “Me too.”

“I miss not being able to hold you.”

“Me too.” I whispered once more, resting my head against his. We sat in a comfortable silence for just under an hour, both of our minds racing.

“Marks been great at letting me stay here.”

“He’s just glad to be helping out a friend and I’m glad you’re the friend.” I smiled, kissing his forehead. “I want to bake.” I announced and stood up.

“You’re still strange.” Nick laughed, also standing. “But I’ve always loved that about you.”

I grinned at him and skipped out and down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Ok.” I started as Nick entered the room. “We need…2 eggs, margarine, flour...” I continued to list things off and noticed Nick was just standing there looking at me.

“This is your kitchen; I don’t know where anything is.” He chuckled.

“Oh…” I spun and opened each of the cupboards, retrieving the ingredients. “Can you measure the flour out please?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Nick scratching his head and frowning at the scales. “Your scales are messed up.”

“What?” I walked over and looked back at him, wondering if he was high.

“I’ve never seen these measurements before.”

“Have you never baked before?” I laughed, pouring out the right amount of flour.

“No, we used to bake all the time; but our scales were…normal.”

“Oh, we use different units. You know Mr, you’re going to have to get used to the differences between here and America.” I laughed.

“Nah, I’ll just keep bugging you and Mark.” He grinned, flashing a wide boyish smile that would melt any girl’s heart.

“You’re just a pain.” I laughed, dipping my hand in the flour and dusting it over Nick’s hair, bringing back memories of our cooking adventures during High School.

“What was that for?” He laughed, getting ready for payback.

“You always looked cute with flour in your hair.” I grinned, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. We both instantly froze and realised what I had done. I quickly jerked my head back and my eyes were wide and wild. “Sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t thinking, I just…I just-”

“It’s ok Charlene. Its fine, I won’t think anything of it.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that we always used to bake together, and I never do with Mark, so it was just instinct I guess. I’m so sorry. God I’m so stupid. Sorry; I’m sorry Ni-”

“Charlene, its fine.” He gave me a hug and rubbed my back. “Your emotions are understandably all over the place. Now, back to baking, how much sugar did we need?”

“Urm, sugar…” I cleared my throat and found the page again. “We urm, need 3 cups.” I frowned and wondered what the hell had come over me. Nick poured the 3 cups into the bowl and I began to mix. He leant against the counter behind and as I glanced behind at him, I saw him touching his lips. That kiss had meant something to him.

…

“Hey honey.” I called as I heard the front door close. Mark walked through the house to the kitchen and looked relieved to see me there.

“Hey baby.” He sighed walking around to give me a quick kiss before sitting down at the breakfast bar opposite me and putting his head in his hands.

“Is everything ok?” I asked, dropping the potato I was peeling, and walking around to him. I smoothed my hands down his back, feeling how uptight he was. “You’re so tense; tell me what’s wrong, Mark.”

“We had to let go of James today at work.” I shut my eyes tightly, knowing James was one of Marks closest friends and understanding how shit Mark must be feeling. “He just wasn’t performing and I warned him about a month ago that he needs to improve or the other directors would get rid of him, but he couldn’t up his sales. I was outnumbered. I obviously didn’t want him fired, but the other directors were determined to get him out the door.”

“But surely since its now your company you should have the final say.”

“I’m only 24, they have more experience than me and my dad always told me the directors know what’s best for the firm. I do get the final say, but I can’t risk a divide between me and all of the directors.” I sighed and massaged his back gently, not knowing what to say. “Charlene, you should have seen his face.” He croaked. “He looked at me like I had murdered his wife and children, like I was the ultimate traitor.”

“Mark, it’s not your fault. You warned him and he didn’t perform. You tried to save him but couldn’t.”

“But he’s my friend…was my friend. I doubt he’ll want anything to do with me.”

I pulled him up from the chair and turned him to face me. “Well it’s his loss. You are amazing Mark, you really are and you don’t need people in your life that don’t appreciate you.”

“I’m nothing special.” He mumbled, shaking his head and looking away from me.

“Mark.” I gulped, feeling my emotions coming to the surface and unwillingly tears slipped down my cheeks. “You are amazing. You’re a blessing Mark and I love you so so much.”

“Baby, don’t cry.” He said softly, stroking my face.

“I can’t help it. You are so special and it’s so tragic that you can’t see it. It’s just so sad that you can’t see it.”

He took my hand and led me upstairs to the bedroom, patting the space next to him on the bed and scooping me into his arms. “I didn’t want to make you cry.” He whispered.

“You didn’t. I just love you so much; I struggle to contain it some times.” I chuckled, wiping underneath my eyes.

“Is Nick home?”

“No; why?” I asked, confused at his sudden mood change.

“Because I’d rather he wasn’t here to listen in on me proving my love to you physically.”

I smirked, and bit down on my bottom lip. “Well he’s out for a couple of hours, so how about you start showing me your love now…”

“Your wish is my command.” He grinned, flipping me over, a loud squeal leaving my lips. Thank God we were home alone.

…

“What the hell ref?!”

“Is the referee bloody blind?!”

I chuckled as I heard Mark and Nick yelling abuse at the football match on TV. Even from the kitchen they were loud. I poured some crisps into a bowl and carried it through to the living room for them. I placed it on the table and doubted they even noticed me since both were so absorbed in the game.

“Do you two want another beer?”

“Yes please.” They said together, not taking their eyes from the screen. I laughed and walked back into the kitchen to retrieve the drinks.

I spent the rest of the evening in the study writing my university assignment whilst the men bonded over the football or ‘soccer’ as Nick called it.

There was a knock at the door and Nick appeared. “Goodnight Charlene.”

“Oh are you off to bed already?” I leant back in my chair, seeing him leaning against the door with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“Yeah, I’m absolutely shattered.”

“Sleep well.”

“Will do; night.” He said and closed the door quietly behind him. Pushing my books away, I stood and walked back out to the living room expecting to see Mark.

“Baby?”

“Kitchen.”

My heart swelled with love simply seeing the back of Mark as he loaded dishes into the dishwasher. Even the smallest things made me fall harder for him.

“Did you have a good night?” I asked, jumping up and sitting on the counter, swinging my legs as he continued to stock up the dishwasher.

“Amazing. I was expecting to have an awful night considering all the shit at work; but I come home to my beautiful girlfriend who I got…intimate with,” He winked at me “and then spend the night watching football with Nick. All in all a very enjoyable evening.”

“A males dream; sex followed by football.” I laughed.

He laughed and walked over to me, placing his hands on my thighs and leaning up to my lips. “Did you get your work done?” He asked as I wrapped my legs around his waist, keeping him close.

“Indeed.” I grinned, stroking his hair. “I’m really tired now though.”

“I believe our bed is calling. I’ll go lock up and bring in Lola and you can get a head start on snuggling into bed.”

“Ok.” Jumping down from the counter I kissed his lips and skipped out the kitchen and up the stairs. I stopped halfway down the corridor in front of Nick’s door, my heart still heavy from earlier. It was a mistake, no, it was beyond a mistake. My devotion to Mark was non negotiable and I just had to ensure Nick knew that. I loved Mark unconditionally. Nick had his chance to be with me but decided to sleep with someone else, Mark on the other hand was as close to perfect as you could get. He was the one I wanted to spend my life with, not Nick.

I sighed and walked over, knocking on his door. “Nick?”

He opened the door and smiled, standing back and allowing me to step into his room. I turned around and was about to speak until I saw he was standing there in boxers and a wife beater shirt throwing me into a spin. I thought Mark had impressive biceps, but Nick’s were something else. Since taking up American football professionally he had clearly bulked up, but his body was now close to that of a God. Everything about him was perfect and I doubt he even knew that.

“Charlene? Hello…” Nick chuckled as I shook my head and then smiled at him.

“Wow, you’ve bulked up.” I smiled, trying to ensure he couldn’t see me blushing.

He laughed again and nodded. “Our coach is pretty tough on us.”

It went quiet and Nick looked expectantly at me, wondering why I was there.

“I just wanted to apologise again for earlier. I had no right to kiss you and I honestly didn’t mean to. I’d hate for it to makes things awkward between us and for you to get the wrong message.”

“Charlene.” He walked forward and placed his hands on my shoulders, a reassuring smile on his lips. “It’s fine. That kiss didn’t mean anything. It was an accident and let’s just forget about it ok?”

“Ok.” I said softly. I cuddled into him and smiled. “I’m glad you’re here Nick.”

“Me too.” He whispered, holding me close. “Even if we’re not dating, I just want to be your friend and for you to know that I’m always there for you.”

“Ditto.” I took a deep breath and smiled at his scent. “Ok, I’ll let you be. I just wanted to say sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He smiled, taking my face in his hands. “You worry too much; always have.” He chuckled.

I laughed and nodded, knowing it was a major fault of mine. “Goodnight Nick.”

“Night Charlene.” He continued to hold my face and brought his lips down to mine, my own lips reacting under his. Nick quickly pulled back, this time both of our eyes wide and wild.

“Shit.” We muttered simultaneously. “We have to stop doing that.” Nick said, running his hand through his hair. “Ok…” He put his hand out and I warily placed my hand in his. “We have to make a deal that we won’t do that again; it’s wrong on so many levels.”

I nodded and shook his hand before stepping back, feeling disgusted with myself. “Goodnight Nick.” I said quickly and walked swiftly from the room and closing the door behind me. I leant my head back against the door, letting out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding, bringing my finger up to my lips which was still electric from his kiss. My lips were tingling, remembering the feel of Nicks lips on mine from all those years ago. Memories of our first kiss flashed into mind, sitting outside in the rain at a party where I had pushed him away. Memories of our first real kiss in the classroom during detention; then in the storage room. Memories of our kiss after he had first made love to me. My heart began to swell at all of the memories that quick kiss that triggered. I opened my eyes and ran my hands down my face, feeling completely out of my depth.

“Bollocks.”