Harder Than You Know

Gerard’s POV:

The next morning I woke up with Nightmare draped over me in the hotel room. “Come on Sugar, its shower time.” I was pushing the blankets back and smiled at her body. “Gerard, get that look off your face!” She was laughing. “But Nightmare, I just want to nibble a little. I haven’t had Nightmare sex in too long and it’s well…you know…fucking hot!” She laughed “I’ve created a sex machine monster.” I flipped her over onto her back and an hour later we finally hit the shower together. We dressed and headed down to the bus to see my brother and the others off.
The bus pulled up to the airport and Nightmare was hugging my brother “Mikey, do you know how much I’m going to miss you?” Nightmare cooed at him. Mikey smiled and picked her up “Nightmare you take care of my big brother ok.” Frank was talking to Ray and Vengeance had Bob in a tight hug. They got off the bus blowing kisses at the girls and the girls had tears in their eyes. I looked at the girls “Hey come on now. It’s ok. They will see you before this tour is over and then you will tour with us and you’ll get sick of them.” Vengeance laughed “Not likely Gee. They are like brothers to me.” Frank scooped her up and took her to the bunks. Nightmare flopped down on the couch and I sat on her lap “Gee…you’re…crushing…me!” She shoved me to the floor. “Thanks Sugar, I love you too.” She held out a hand to help me up but I pulled her down on top of me. “Now what are you going to do? I have you now.” She laughed and straddled my waist kissing my face all over. “More like what are you going to do Gee?” We played around for another 15 minutes before her phone rang. I got up and grabbed my sketch book and sat at the table to draw when she sat down next to me. “Gee…are we going to work this time? I mean are you sure that you want to be with me and not with Lyn-z?”I put my stuff down and pulled her up and into my arms “Nightmare I told you I’m done with Lyn-z and I’m all yours. Why are you getting worried about us now? I swear I will never hurt you again. I love you Nightmare. I want to be with only you.” I looked into her eyes “What’s wrong Nightmare? I can see there is something on your mind.” She pulled away “Nothing Gee. I love you too.”
I could tell something was bothering her and that bothered me. We pulled into the truck stop to refill the buses. Nightmare and Vengeance skipped out arms linked whispering to each other. I stopped Frank “Dude, is Vengeance acting funny with you too?” Frank looked at me funny “No why?” I rubbed my face “Someone called her and well, now she is pulling away some. Frank she just seems more distant than ever. You know like right before we break up.” Frank gave me a half hug. “Dude, stop it. She really loves you. Vengeance said she never stopped.” I nodded and caught up to the girls. Nightmare grabbed me around the waist “I love you babe.” I smiled and kissed her “you better.”

Nightmare’s POV

I had gotten a call from Robert earlier and I was feeling guilty as hell. He told me Craig was falling apart and drinking. He and Max are fighting and tearing the shit out of the bus. I really do love Craig but he knew how I felt about Gerard. Gerard is my one true love. I would die for him. Hell I almost did. Gerard was drawing and I was trying to play my bass. I was so fucking confused. I hate myself. We were at the next venue and the crews almost had the stage together for tomorrow night’s show. I walked up to Gerard “Hey babe, want to go for a walk?” He smiled at me “Let’s go.” He held my hand and was leaning into me whispering in my ear “I’m so going to marry you this time.” I smiled at him “well then I guess I’m going to have to say yes.” He pulled me into his chest to kiss me when Craig walked up “Hey…uhm…Gerard can I talk to Nightmare for a minute?” I nodded to Gerard “its ok babe, I’ll meet you back on the bus.” He kissed me and headed back. I slowly turned to face Craig “Uhm…hey are you ok?” I touched his arm and a smile spread across his face. “Yeah, I’m good. Is Gerard treating you ok?” I nodded “Yeah, it’s kinda weird not seeing him drunk. But I really like it.” Craig moved closer to me and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Nightmare if he fucks up I’m here for you. I…I…I lo…I miss you is all.” I hugged him quickly and ran off to the bus.
As I jumped thru the door of the bus Vengeance jumped to her feet “Nightmare what happened?” I had tears falling down my face “nothing….he just…Cra…” Gerard cut me off “I’ll fucking kill that fucker!” I grabbed his arm “NO! Gerard he didn’t do anything. Please baby calm down.” He looked at me and hugged me tightly to his chest kissing the top of my head “Then why are you crying if he didn’t do anything?” I let the tears flow and cried into his chest “I did it Gerard not Craig. I…I broke his heart like you broke mine.” The tears fell faster as a shuddered in Gerard’s arms. He let out a breath that he had been holding “Oh Sugar. I’m so sorry I did this to you. Nightmare. I love you babe. I’ll talk to Craig. I’ll fix this I promise.” I looked up into his worried eyes. “You can’t fix it. I broke him and I have to fix it. I can’t let him feel like I did when you left me.” I knew there was no way I could ever fix this. I was just hoping Craig and I could become friends.
The next day Dysfunctional Family was on stage doing sound check and I messed up right and left. My fingers didn’t want to work and I was really frustrated. Vengeance knew what was wrong but Sunshine and Angel were getting mad as hell at me. Sunshine broke and yelled at me “What the fuck Nightmare! Gerard has you fucked up already?” I glared at her as Vengeance yelled at her “Shut the fuck up Sunshine! This has nothing to do with Gerard!” I pulled my strap to my bass over my shoulder and started slamming it onto the stage breaking it into lots of little pieces. “Bring it bitch. Open your fucking mouth again and so help me God I’ll show you what a fucking Nightmare I can fucking be!” Angel yelled “Come on Vengeance you can’t talk to us like that! You know I can kick your ass!” Vengeance was running at her “FUCK YOU! Let’s see who kicks whose ass you fucking bitch!” I guess you could say all hell was breaking out. Max grabbed Vengeance and Robert had a hold on Angel. Craig was pulling me off of Sunshine while Bry was holding her back. I never saw Gerard or Frank standing off to the side of the stage watching all this unfold. Max and Craig dragged us one way and the other girls were dragged the other way. Craig spun me around to face him “What the hell was that shit about?” I could hear Max and Vengeance hissing at each other “I don’t really know Craig. What the fuck are you guys saying about us to OUR band mates? Why the fuck are they turning on us? Is this what you do to get even with me for going back to Gerard?” I was so mad I was shaking. Craig’s lips crashed hard on my own. Frank placed a hand on Gerard’s arm “Wait! See what she does first dude.” I pushed away from Craig “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Craig looked down. “I’m sorry, I just miss you.” I sat down on a speaker. “Craig you know I really care about you. You have to know how much I love Gerard. He’s back. He’s my fucking world. I’ve always loved him. He was my first. I want him to be my last. I’m sorry Craig. I’m sorry I hurt you. I just love Gerard. I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I’m just so sorry.” I stood up to walk away when I noticed Gerard standing there watching. A wide smile stretched across his face. I ran straight into his waiting arms wrapping my legs around his waist with my hands in his hair. Gerard kissed me and rested his head against my forehead “Thank you. This is what I’ve wanted. Finally you are all mine.” I kissed him again. “I’m all yours. I love you Gerard.”
We turned to leave and Gerard set me back down on my feet. As we turned the corner our smiles disappeared from our faces. Gerard held me a little tighter. I heard him say “Lyn-z….” I looked up and said “shit!”