Seasons.

John grabbed onto the door handle and pulled it open. Right when I walked into the building I could hear the sounds of music that I heard before. The music was faint, but I could still here it. At the front of the building was a brown haired girl looking down at some papers with a pen in her hand. John paid no attention to her, he just kept moving to walk down the hallway, and I just walked behind him.

We moved quickly. I knew that John wanted to get there so no one would give him a beating. I knew that Josh or Taylor would get mad at him right when we walked through those doors. Then John would come back with a comment like “You guys let me sleep in and you could have woken me up, so shut your mouths.”

There was random people in what it looked like to be conference rooms. In other doors you could see other bands setting up to practice as well. As John and I walked further and further down the hallway, the sound of Cross Your Fingers was ringing through my ears. It sounded a little off since John’s guitar wasn’t in the song at the moment, just Josh’s. It wasn’t really different, but you could tell.

Then we came to a door that said ‘The Summer Set practice’ on it. John grabbed a hold of the door and smirked at me. I nodded, walking into the loud room before him. He walked into the room behind me and looked around. Everyone stopped and stared at us. On top of a table was sitting Taylor and Hannah.

“Fuck John!” Taylor screamed. “You’re late.”

“Um excuse me!” John screamed right back. “You guys could have easily woken me and Jordan up but you guys had to go and be asshole’s like always.”

“But you looked so cute.” Josh laughed on stage with his guitar strapped around him.

I shook my head, walking over to where Hannah was sitting. This wasn’t my argument. I walked slowly as I kept my eyes on John. He ignored what Taylor had to say to him, grabbing his guitar off the side of the stage. He wrapped it around himself, and plugged it into the amp after he hopped up on stage. I looked around the room, wondering where Carson was.

My hand was really cold. I put it on the table and hopped up and sat down beside Hannah. She looked over and smiled at me. I didn’t ask where Carson was because he was probably gone out to get food or something. Yeah, Jess probably was getting a little hungry or something like that. I shrugged, and watched as they began playing again. This time, with John though.

Taylor walked across the room shaking his head. I knew he was angry with John but it was their fault that they didn’t wake him up. I mean, I know it’s his responsibility, but they were right there. It’s not that hard to shake him a little and tell him to get ready for band practice. I shrugged, it wasn’t my business anyway’s.

“Alright, let’s take two.” Brian said into the mic.

The music began and my legs hung over the side of the table. Taylor hopped up on the platform and walked over to the table. He pulled himself up beside Hannah and watched them play on the stage as well. I sighed, shaking my head. I don’t know why, but I was still tired. And I knew tomorrow I’d be even more tired. The house would be a mess tonight and everyone would be gone by six in the morning, but that was just my guess.

I’ve never really been to a highschool party in my life before. Carson has been to a couple of them with his acquaintance guy friends, but he couldn’t bring me along. He said that they’re nothing fun, but I think Arizona kids may party it up a little bit differently then we do it up north. The closest that I’ve been to partying is when Carson and I take shot’s when we get bored, or if it’s a special occasion.

Carson and I would sit on his balcony and laugh about the worse things in life. If I think about it, I drank a lot in the past year. I was like my mom in that way, but I’d never become an alcoholic. I wouldn’t do it as much as she did. Or around kids if I ever have any. I did it quite a lot this year though. It helped me through the worst parts of my life. I know I shouldn’t have looked to that to help me, but it did.

I closed my eyes, listening to the music sink in. I thought about how it would feel to be on tour. The same music every night in a different place. Actually, travelling the USA would be pretty rad, since I haven’t seen a lot of it. Also, being with amazing people that I care dearly about. Drinking, sleeping in the back of vans. Eating fast food that has so much salt it could kill us. I smiled to myself; It sounds like the life.

Watching John sweat on stage. Listening to Brian piss off Jess. Jess complaining about wanting to find somewhere to eat. Taylor pissing me off to the best of his abilities. Josh and Carson cuddling in the back of the van. Stephen listening to his slow indie music, and keeping me company when I needed it. I knew that I could live like that. I wanted to live like that, I just needed to get my mother to let me live like that.

As much as she could care a less about me, she still liked getting her way. Even though she’s never home and it wouldn’t make a difference if I was there or not, she’d still do what was worst for me. In a year, I can move out. I plan on moving into the city if something goes wrong with everyone here. They probably will forget about me by then anyways. They’ll be caught up in new friends and fans. I’ll be nothing to them.

I sighed, staring blank at the floor. I tried not to think of the worse things because I’ve been doing that for too long in my life. It wasn’t good for me, because I was a really negative person. I’m going to rub off on other people and I didn’t want that. I kicked my feet on the bottom of the table, bobbing my head to the music.

“Where’s Carson?” I finally moved over and asked Hannah.

Hannah looked over at me and shrugged. “I have no idea. I think I heard him and Josh talking about to go and get something to eat. He didn’t ask me if I wanted anything.”

“Asshole. . .” I laughed.

“Pretty much.” Hannah nodded. “I’m not hungry though, so I don’t care.”

“I’m not hungry either.” I shook my head. “I don’t know why. I haven’t eaten anything all day either.”

“Speaking of Carson. . .” Hannah trailed off, looking at the floor, and then back at me. “How come you and him haven’t been talking lately? I mean, I know you and John have been trying to get to know each other, but I’m just curious.”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “He’s getting guy friends for once, so I guess he’s happy and caught up in all of that. And I have a boyfriend. I guess we’re getting used to new things.”

Hannah nodded. “I know how you feel. Trying to get used to someone actually liking you and not your sister for once is a big thing to over come for me.”

“Hannah. . .” I sighed. “It’s not a big surprise. The reason people probably didn’t have an eye for you where you live is because they’re asshole’s. You should be glad that you have someone like Stephen liking you because he’s better then half the guys on the planet.”

“That’s true.” Hannah smiled brightly. I could see the red coming in on her cheeks.

Taylor looked over at me and Hannah. “Alright I’m standing right hear and I can hear you guys talking about drama over the music. I don’t give a shit, so shut your mouths.”

“Taylor’s an asshole.” Hannah said quietly.

“You’re just noticing that now?” I laughed.

Hannah shrugged, moving to face the stage again. They finished the song and began talking about things that they could work on, or what was really strong. They were talking to low for me to hear, since we were at the back of the room. We just sat there quietly as they talked to each other.

Taylor got up from the table and hopped off the platform, and walked over to the stage. I watched as he walked across the room and then picked himself up. He began talking to them about things, but I couldn’t hear. Stephen walked around stage, not caring about what they were saying. He and Hannah caught eyes and smiled. I shook my head laughing and they both looked at me with a ‘what the hell you looking at?’ look.

I looked over at the door, hearing over bands playing since I the guys and Jess stopped playing. Moments later the door opened and Carson walked through. He wasn’t alone though. He was with a girl that I’ve never seen before. Everyone stood up and looked over at the door. I looked at John and the expression on his face wasn’t even explainable.

Carson walked across the room like nothing happened. He had some McDonald’s bags in his hands and sat them on the side of the stage. No one paid attention to him though.

“Oh!” Carson remembered. “This girl said she knew you guys.”

John gulped. “Yeah, we know her.”

“Hey guys!” She short blond girl smiled brightly.

They all hopped off the stage and Carson grabbed the food. Everyone walked slowly over to the platform with a blank look on their face. The girl stood there awkwardly. I looked back over at John, since I didn’t really want to look at her. The girl’s teeth were bright like her hair, but her body was brown like burnt toast. Her tight shorts, and skimpy top weren’t even covering her up. I really didn’t know who this was.

Everyone stood there looking at the girl, and she just smiled away. John was the only one that moved. He walked up on the platform, and walked past the girl slowly, trying to stay as far away as he could. I don’t know, but I’m guessing he doesn’t like her? She kept her eyes on John and only John though. That smiling not leaving her face.

His hand touched my leg and he hopped up on the table beside me. I felt John’s hand go around my hip and then I looked back at the girl. Her smile wasn’t a smile anymore. She stood there and crossed her arm’s. She looked over at the everyone else again. “So, I hear you guys are having you’re annual party tonight or something. The words getting around quick. I think lot’s of people are going.”

“You haven’t been to one in years though.” Josh raised his eyebrow.

“Oh well,” The girl shrugged. “I thought I’d come and visit. I’ve missed you guys.”

I turned over to look at John. I don’t know why, but he looked worried. Moving over, I whispered into his ear. “Who’s that?”

John didn’t look at me. He just looked at her. He moved closer and then whispered something in my ear. “That’s Miranda.”

I looked at the ground, but I could feel John’s eyes on me. I don’t know why, but I didn’t like the feeling of her being in the room. The sly look on her face when she looked at John made me feel weird. She walked closer to John and I. She stopped, but I didn’t look up. For a moment, I just looked at the ground. Then I looked up at her. She looked like she wanted to kill me, but she still had a smile on her fake face.

“So John. . .” She looked at him. “Who’s this?”

“His girlfriend.” Stephen said in the snobbiest tone I’ve ever heard him talk in. “Why, does that bother you Miranda?”

“Well, he could do better than that.” She shrugged. “That’s just what I think though.”

“Fuck off.” Stephen said. I could tell they didn’t get along.

For some reason, I thought there wasn’t going to be anything like this when I got to Arizona. I wanted to get away from things like this, but I always walk right back into it. I sighed looking at the ground. I didn’t want to say anything or do anything. I knew she’d take over me and do something that would make me become more negative then I already am. I have to face, where ever I go, there will always be girls like her.

I hoped off the table. Walking past Miranda, I could smell the fake tan spray and cheap ass perfume she probably tell’s people that it cost’s over four hundred dollars. I didn’t look up or back. I kept my eyes on the ground, trying to keep them from watering up. I don’t know why I’m like this. I’m always someone that is really emotional and I cry easy. It always happens at school, and I was always called ‘cry baby’. I hated it.

The door was right there. I opened it quickly and I wasn’t sure where I was going. I looked to my right to see another hallway. I shrugged, thinking it couldn’t hurt to go down there. I walked quickly, soon finding a bathroom. I opened the door and locked it behind me. I slid down the wall and put my head into my knee’s. I tried my best not to cry, but it wasn’t working that well.

Moment’s later I could hear the sound of light knocking on the door. I knew it was someone I knew because if it was someone random, because if it wasn’t, they would have knocked a lot louder. I sighed, wondering who I could have been. They knocked again, but they stayed silent on that side of the door and I stayed silent on this side.

I waited to see if the person would knock again. Whoever it was, they stayed silent for a bit, then moments later they knocked again. I pulled myself up from the ground and grabbed some paper towel. I whipped my cheeks and put the paper towel in the garbage. I walked over slowly and opened the door. John looked there with a concerned look on his face. I moved over slowly and he walked into the washroom.

I walked back over to the wall I was sitting against and slid back down. John sighed, sitting beside me. His hand moved slowly and he moved it slowly across my face. Then I felt his hand hit my shoulder. His hand travelled from my face, down my leg, and then grabbed onto my hand. I felt his head move a tad, and then his hot lips on my neck.

“Babe?” He asked. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Well, I’m worried anyways.” I murmured.

“Don’t.” John replied. “Just please don’t.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” I asked. “She’s a lot prettier then me, and it looks like she could give more out of her tight fucking short’s then I could.”

“It doesn’t matter.” John shook his head on my shoulder. “You’re beautiful, she’s a fake slut. All she wants is my junk, but you want me for me. And I love that about you.”

“I hate my negativity.” I shook my head.

“It’s alright.” John let go of my hand and rubbed circle’s on my leg. I don’t know why, but this felt so comfortable. John made me feel so, right. “You don’t have to worry Jord. I love you and that’s all that matter’s. There’s no way that some fake blond that broke my heart could take that away. Now looking back on it, I was naive idiot.”

“I’ll take your word. . .” I sighed.

“That’s good.” John looked at me and then kissed the top of my forehead. “And that party tonight. I think it’d be better if we went to my house then staying there.”