Somebody To Love

“Okay,” Bob said, lying on his bed after school, smoking a cigarette. “So let me get this straight. You were being made fun of and the guy defending you just turns around and kisses the dude harassing you?”

I nodded, transfixed on getting Ironhide to transform back to a pickup truck.

“Then you and him just peace out and go to the library?”

Again, more nodding.

“Then he asks you out on a date?”

“Yep,” I said upon successfully returning my transformer back to its original shape.

“How is this a bad thing, then?”

“I never said it was a bad thing,” I said in defense.

Bob scoffed, “Well you’re sure acting like it is.”

“Am not,” I argued.

“Are too,” Bob retorted, putting out his cigarette only to light another one back up again. “And if you say ‘am not,’ I’m tossing that Transformer out the window.”

I knew not to mess with Bob since he put my limited edition He-Man action figure in the toilet when I refused to drop that he liked to play Princess Toadstool in Mario Kart. It took me a week to get the blue water dye tint off of him.

“What makes you think I’m making it out to be a bad thing?”

“Well,” Bob said, sitting up, “for starters, I know for a fact no boy has ever asked you out.”

“Must you rub it in?” I growled.

“Hey, just stating a fact,” he said, holding up his hands in defense. “Don’t shoot the fucking messenger. I’m thinking maybe you’re a bit nervous, hence you freaking out.”

“Just a little bit,” I said sarcastically. “I mean, I still have yet to get my first fucking kiss. I have no fucking clue what I’m walking into. What should I do if he holds my hand? What should I do if he wants to make out during the movie? Where do I put my nose? Do I open my mouth or keep it closed? What if he tries to stick his tongue down my throat? Bob, I can’t go through with this. If Frank found out how inexperienced I am, he would never talk to me again!”

Bob sighed, taking a long drag on his cigarette, “This really isn’t my department, Ray.”

Bob was straight, but slightly bent. He wasn’t bisexual, but he wasn’t straight either, and he was in the same boat as me in a way.

“If he really digs you, then that won’t matter,” Bob said, once again fishing for another cig because I aggravate him. “You’re a sixteen year old gay boy, Ray. Most people do not come out until they are well into college. How much ass do you think this guy has gotten? Not much, I’ll tell you that.”

I knew Bob was right. The reason I was never kissed before was because no other boy wanted to. The reason I had never been out on a date before was because I never held any interest in girls and I was too much of a geek for them to even look my way. At least one boy was giving me the time of day, so why not go for it?

There was a knock on the door and Mrs. Bryar stuck her head in.

“Raymond, your mother just called, she wants you to come home now and look after your grandmother while she makes dinner.”

Once she was well enough down the hallway Bob said, “We will finish this conversation later, but think about going out with this guy. If you don’t like him, then don’t go on a second date. The only mistake you can make right now is not going on the date.”

Bob was right. Sometimes, I hated when Bob was right.

<center>~*~</center>

When I came in the door, my mother immediately greeted me.

“Ray, please go upstairs and watch your grandmother for me,” she said in Spanish, working her way around the kitchen.

“Sure,” I said, “but there is one thing I have to ask you. Can I go out Friday night? My friend Frank invited me out to see a movie.”

“I don’t know, Ray,” she said, cutting up some carrots. “You are going to need a ride. Eddie asked for the car. You are also going to have to ask Louie if he will watch grandma for you, since it will be your turn because I have a L.I.F.E. meeting that night with your aunts and uncles down at the community center.”

How could I have forgotten about that? Louie was not easy when it came to trading time watching grandma.

“Go see if you can talk to him,” she said, stirring the soup for tonight’s dinner, “but make it quick, you can’t leave grandma too long.”

I trudged up the stairs knowing Louie was going to hand my ass to me. The sound of a bass could be heard down the hall. He was practicing, which meant he would be even more difficult to deal with.

One of my aunts opened their bedroom door and yelled in Spanish, “Louis! Turn that noise down! Pedro is trying to sleep!”

And of course she slammed the door closed in anger, which woke up the kid anyway. I hated living in my house. You could not do anything without being yelled at for disturbing the peace because so many people lived in my house. My mom’s two sisters and their husbands who had three kids each, my dad’s brother and his wife, and both my parents mothers all lived with us in our tiny home.

When I went to knock on Louie’s door, I already knew what my answer was going to be.

“No,” he said after he opened the door to see it was me.

He then closed it.

“Louie, you don’t even know what I am going to ask.”

He opened the door to explain once more, “You want me to watch grandma on Friday night and no, I don’t want to do it, because that is the one night where everyone is going to be out of the house, so I can practice my bass without being yelled at. It is your night to do it.”

He then closed it again.

“Louie, you don’t understand.”

“Yes, I understand,” he said, not bothering to open the door, “and no, it is your responsibility. You can play your guitar at Bob’s house. I have no place to go.”

“It’s not about that,” I said, trying to reason with him. “Frank invited me out on a date to go see horror fest on Friday.”

Once I’d said it, I immediately wished I could have snatched what I said out of the air and shoved those words back in my mouth.

Louie reopened his door with a smirk on his face, “Did you say Frank asked you out on a date, as in, a guy?”

When I didn’t respond, he started laughing and once again, I turned the shade of a plum.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I said. “Mom just thinks he’s a friend.”

“So wait,” Louie said, trying to get the story straight, “you’re gay?”

I nodded and Louie burst into another fit of hysterics.

“Am I ever going to use this against you,” he said.

“Louie, I don’t care what you do, just cover me on Friday please?”

Louis smiled, “And what are you going to do for me?”

“I’ll wash our car,” I offered.

“No go,” He said, “try again.”

“I’ll tune and change your bass strings for you for a full month,” I tried again.

“I’m listening,” he said with a smile, “but I am still a little foggy about it.”

“Fine,” I said, trying to think fast, “I’ll do all your house work for you, tune your bass, change your strings, wash the car when it is your turn, and I’ll watch grandma whenever you want me to, just not this Friday night.”

Louie extended his hand to shake on it, “Fine, deal, just no going back on it or I’ll let your little secret out.”

“Fine,” I said, shaking his hand, before trudging up another flight of stairs to watch grandma drool while I played my gameboy.