Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and Whatnot

On my last day, my mom was hugging me tightly again.

“Oh, honey, we’re going to miss you so much,” she kissed my forehead. “Be good, and stay safe”

“That goes for Death Eaters and boys,” my dad said, hugging me as well.

“Dad,” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead as well.

Then Hermione came up and hugged me.

“Hermy, I’m going to miss not having you around at the Burrow. Who’s going to keep me sane?”

“I don’t know, I just feel bad for Mrs. Weasley putting up with all of you,” she smiled.

I smiled back, “Yeah, but she should be used to it now, right?”

My mom hugged me one more time.

Then I stepped into the fireplace and waved to them all before vanishing in the puff of smoke. I think I might have been early, but I’d just have to surprise them all. I landed on the floor once again. Will I never get this right? Mrs. Weasley poked her head in from the kitchen.

“Caroline, dear! You’re early! I was just starting dinner for tonight”

“Hi Mrs. Weasley,” I smiled, “Sorry if it’s inconvenient”

“Oh, no, not at all, it’s perfectly fine,” she said hurriedly, “I’ll call Fred and George”

Which she promptly did by going to the foot of the staircase and yelling, “Fred! George! Get down here!”

George came down the stairs first, “Mum, we’re working on a project, what do you - ?”

He stopped when he reached the foot of the stairs and saw me standing in the living room.

“You’re here,” he said, staring at me.

“I’m here…early, but you know” I shrugged.

He grinned and came forward, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeply.

“I’m glad you’re early” he said when we broke apart.

I smiled, “I thought you might be”

Then Fred came lumbering down the stairs. He too stopped when he saw me. But he quickly grabbed me in a bone crushing hug.

“Ribs – breaking” I gasped.

He laughed, “That’s what you get for showing up here early without telling us”

“Well you want me to leave and come back later?” I asked jokingly, stepping towards the fireplace.

“No!” George said quickly, grabbing me by the waist and putting me over his shoulder “No, we do not”

“Hey!” I said, then sighed, “Oh what the hell? I should be used to this by now”

They both laughed and George followed Fred up the stairs, still carrying me.

On one of the landings, they suddenly stopped.

“Morning Ginny!” they said in unison.

“Hey guys,” she said, then she came around behind George.

I grinned and waved, “Hey Ginny”

She laughed slightly, “Hi Caroline, good to see you again”

“Maybe next time you see me, I’ll actually be right side up” I said as the twins started up the stairs again.

“One can only hope” she called out, going the opposite direction.

“Are we there yet?” I sighed in an exasperated manner.

“Oh very nearly” George said.

“Are you sure you can make it George? I mean, what does she weigh 490?” Fred asked.

“Fred!” I said and kicked my leg out, but missed. “Dammit, I can’t kick you properly from this angle”

“Too bad” he said cheerily.

Finally, they opened the door to their room and George deposited me on his bed.

“Finally” I muttered.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the dizziness. George sprawled out next to me and Fred sat down on his bed. I got up, pretending to look at stuff they had in one of the many boxes piled around the room, but kicked Fred in the shin as I passed him.

“Ow! What was that for?” he said.

“Well, I missed earlier, so” I shrugged.

“Why you – “

He lunged at me and I shrieked, jumping onto George’s bed and hiding behind him. I was laughing as Fred tried to get around George to get to me.

“Now children,” George said in a condescending tone, pushing Fred back, “let’s not fight. Fighting is never the answer. Hugs not drugs!”

I laughed again as Fred sat back down on his bed, pouting.

“Oh, look, Caroline,” George said, “you’ve made him sad. Kiss and make up. Or – well, I’d actually prefer you not do that. Hug and make up”

“He started it” I accused.

“When you point the finger of blame at someone, there’re three fingers pointing back at you”

I looked at my hand, pointing one finger, “Whoa, you’re right!” I laughed.

“Of course I’m right, now apologize”

“Why? He’s just being a baby”

Fred crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at me, a gesture which I returned.

“Who’s being a baby?” George asked.

I made a face.

“Go on now, say you’re sorry,” George pushed me off the bed when I didn’t move.

“Fine” I sighed like a little kid.

I stood in front of Fred, who still had his arms crossed and was refusing to look at me, although I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

“I’m sorry, Freddy” I said holding out my arms.

He looked up at me, then grinned and hugged me.

“Sorry you’re such a git!” I jumped back behind George.

We were all laughing now though. Fred had fallen back on his bed and George had slung his arm around my shoulders.

“Oh I missed you guys” I sighed, leaning into George.

“Of course you did” they said.

Eventually, we had calmed down, and I got up to actually look at the stuff in their boxes. Fred cringed away from me dramatically when I came too close to his bed.

“I promise I won’t kick you this time” I laughed.

“Well you can never be too safe” he said.

“How’s the shop?” I asked as I examined what looked like a telescope.

“Don’t squeeze that,” George warned, then said “It’s great, we still have tons of business”

“Why not?” I asked. “That’s so good, I can’t wait to see it again”

“It’ll punch you and leave a permanent bruise, which we left the antidote for at the shop” Fred said. “And we’ve hired three other people, they rotate days,”

“But none of them are as good as you,” George grinned.

“You only say that because you’re getting some” Fred joked.

“Well, if Angelina worked for us, would you not say the same thing to her?” George asked.

“Oh, are you still with her?”

“Yep,” Fred grinned.

“Is she coming here at all over break?” I asked.

“No, but I might be going to see her after New Years” he said.

“Speaking of New Years and the shop, that’s when we’re going back,” George said. “Do you want to stay with us again until school?”

“Um…duh”

They laughed and Fred said, “We won’t be open again, yet, so you can’t work, but hopefully that won’t put too much of a damper on your stay”

“Oh, ha ha” I rolled my eyes.

“I guess you’ll just have to hang out with us and try not to be too bored” George said.

I sighed, “Well, I guess if I have to”

Then, I picked up another item that was supposedly not ready for retail yet and looked it over.

“We should do something” I said randomly.

“Like what?” George asked.

“Threesome?”

“Ew, Fred, completely uncalled for” I said.

He laughed, “Sorry. Want to go to the village then?”

“What’ll we do there?”

“We’ll walk around, hang out, impress Muggles with some ‘magic’ tricks” George said.

“But we’ll have to keep it low-key, don’t want them catching on, you know?”

I shrugged, “Alright, let’s go”

As we were entering the kitchen, we heard Harry say “Yeah, well, passing over Fred’s left buttock – “

George and I laughed.

“I beg your pardon?” asked Fred.

“I think Harry’s been admiring your butt” I said and Harry rolled his eyes at me.

“Aah, George, look at this. They’re using knives and everything. Bless them.” Fred said.

“I’ll be seventeen in two and a bit months’ time,” Ron said grumpily,” and then I’ll be able to do it by magic!”

“But meanwhile,” George said, sitting down and pulling me into his lap, “we can enjoy watching you demonstrate the correct use of a – whoops-a-daisy!”

“You made me do that!” Ron said angrily, sucking on his cut thumb.

“George,” I hit him on the back of the head, but he just grinned.

“You wait, when I’m seventeen – “ Ron grumbled.

“I’m sure you’ll dazzle us all with hitherto unsuspected magical skills,” said Fred, putting his feet up on the table.

“And speaking of hitherto unsuspected skills, Ronald,” said George, “what is this we hear about you and a young lady called – unless our information is faulty – Lavender Brown?”

Ron blushed, but did not look entirely displeased, “Mind your own business”

“What a snappy retort,” said Fred. “I really don’t know how you think of them. No, what we want to know was…how did it happen?”

“What d’you mean?”

“Did she have an accident or something?” George asked.

“What?”

“Well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage? Careful, now!”

Mrs. Weasley had entered the room right as Ron threw a knife at Fred, who turned it into a paper airplane with a lazy wave of his wand.

“Ron!” she said furiously, “Don’t you ever let me see you throwing knives again!”

“I won’t,” Ron said before muttering, “let you see.”

I tried not to laugh out loud.

“Fred, George, I’m sorry dears, but Remus is arriving tonight, so Bill will have to squeeze in with you two”

“No problem,” said George.

“Then, as Charlie isn’t coming home, that just leaves Harry and Ron in the attic, and if Fleur shares with Ginny and Caroline – “

I slumped against George’s chest, frowning as Fred muttered, “ – that’ll make Ginny’s Christmas – “

Neither Ginny nor I much enjoyed Fleur’s company. I was patient with her, but really, how hard is it to pronounce an ‘H’?

“ – everyone should be comfortable. Well, they’ll have a bed, anyway,” Mrs. Weasley finished.

“Percy definitely not showing his ugly face, then?” asked Fred.

Mrs. Weasley turned away before answering, “No, he’s busy, I expect, at the Ministry.”

“Or he’s the world’s biggest prat,” Fred said as Mrs. Weasley left. “One of the two. Well, let’s get going then, George, Caroline.”

“What are you up to?” asked Ron. “Can’t you help us with these sprouts? You could just use your wand and then we’ll be free too!”

“No I don’t think we can do that,” said Fred. “It’s very character-building stuff, learning to peel sprouts without magic, makes you appreciate how difficult it is for Muggles and Squibs – “

“ – and if you want people to help you, Ron,” added George, throwing the paper airplane at him, “I wouldn’t chuck knives at them. Just a little hint. We’re off to the village to mess with some Muggles”

“Sorry, boys, I would help, but I’m not seventeen yet either” I shrugged as George started pulling me by the hand.

“Uh – no you wouldn’t” Fred said.

“Well, I would at least think about it”

“Before deciding not to,” George said.

“Sorry again!” I laughed as George pulled me out the door after Fred.