Decoding Jenny

“Okay.” I nodded. So I began, “I was sitting at home. In my room doing a project. Then all of a sudden she yelled Lee! Lee! Lee! Hayley! Like she always did when she wanted me to do something.” I laughed as I remembered my sister. “She told me that we should do something together but I told her that I was doing homework. Plus it was a school night. But since you didn’t know Jen you don’t know how focused and driven she was, she never went anywhere on school nights that would take up too much of her time.” I took a breath and I felt a tear fall down my face. I didn’t even know that I had started crying. But I continued still not looking at him. “I was adamant that we wouldn’t go anywhere. She kept asking and asking. Then I told her no so firmly that she just stopped and stared at me like she couldn’t believe that I said that or said it like that. Then we just started disagreeing. We never disagreed. Okay we did but not like that.” I laughed again as I felt my eyes stinging. Seth reached over and we swung side to side as he put his arm over my shoulders. “ Then she told me to cover for her. I told her I wouldn’t lie for her and she told me just not to tattle and that she would be back before midnight. That she would see me in the morning. But…she broke her promise.”

I looked at him as silent tears fell down my face. We just stared at one another as if waiting for something to happen. Seth broke the silence by saying, “Still Hayley it wasn’t your fault. You would have never been able to stop it. You didn’t know. You would have never predicted when she would die. Neither could I.”

We both helped each other as we told our secrets to each other. Perfect strangers only months before but now friends bonded by something so strong that some people may never feel it.

“Thank you.” I mumbled as I got up and hugged him as he still swayed back and forth.

I was pacing up and down the halls waiting for him. Waiting for Lance. I was going to let him know that I knew what he did. I now understood why he was so upset when I interviewed him. He was blaming himself; he should’ve been too. I knew since it was the last class of the day a lot of people would be flooding out of the classroom. It was a perfect time to let him and the entire school know that I knew and of what he did.

I told Seth to wait by the lockers behind me; which he was doing and wait for Carter. To make sure he heard the information and to keep him from killing Lance. But I knew that was easier said than done.

I saw Casey walking down the hall. I hadn’t talked to her in months so I called her name and she turned around and smiled. She started to walk towards me. I hugged her when she stood in front of me and I whispered, “I’m sorry. Sorry that I didn’t hang out with you. I…I needed some space.”

“Hayley its okay. I let you have your time; I knew you needed it. I’m just a phone call away.”

We pulled away. “Thanks.” I said.

“See you around.” She told me then walked to the student parking lot.

The door to the class room opened and out walked Carter. “Here we go Seth.” I said to him and turned back around to face my brother.

“Hey, Car I need to tell you something. But I have to wait for someone else, will you wait by Seth for a minute?” Please Carter just listen.

“Why? And What? ” He asked suspiciously.

“You’ll see and please.” I begged.

He must’ve seen the sheer desperation on my face because he said, “Okay. Hurry.”

I nodded and turned back around to see Lance and his football ‘buddies’. Here goes everything I though.

“Lance!” I called loud enough to catch everyone’s attention in the hall.
It made him jump and look at me with a look of anger dashed with confusion yet he answered, “Yeah.”

This was going to be fun, “I know, Lance.” He looked confused so I added more, “You know what I’m talking about. Just like Jenny did.” I said Jenny harshly trying to make his dim brain comprehend it. But apparently he still didn’t get it. I was going to have to spell it out for the poor boy.

“The night of the accident at the party. Jenny wanted to find out if it was true, you know if you were cheating on her.” I said and then the entire hallway fell silent. Lance looked embarrassed. Carter confused and angry; about to pounce. Then I saw Meghan, Jenny’s best friend. She was close to tears and was glaring daggers at Lance.

“I…I” Lance stuttered but I cut him off.
“You…You have nothing to say because its true. You know. I know it and Jenny knew it.” Everyone was still quiet; Meghan was walking up to him but out of the corner of her eye she was watching me.

“You are at fault here Lance. For the accident.” I said sternly. “Not the entire fault but a part.” His face lightened at the part where I said it wasn’t all of his fault. “Part was you. Part the other girl who I hope I never find out who it was. Part Justin’s. Part Jenny, herself. And part mine.” I finished now everyone was looking at me.

“Hayley. Not your fault. Mostly Lance’s fault.” Carter said walking behind me. “Lance you…you.”

Carter was lost for words so I cut in. “No Carter. Wait.” He listened and looked at me with surprise and shock written on his face. “Lance it is part your fault because you are a moron.” Someone snickered. “Part Justin because he drank and drove. Part Jenny because she got into a car with Justin. And Part mine because I let her go. Go without me when she needed me.” I didn’t cry I didn’t even stumble over any words.

“Lance. I’m going to kill you.” Meghan said as she shook her head back and forth. I had expected that from Carter not Meghan.

I took that as my cue to leave. I turned around to a smiling Seth looking right at me and I grabbed Carter by the wrist and pulled him out the door and to his car.

“Hayley what…when…How did you know?” Carter asked still shocked.

“This.” I said as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the note. “I found it Saturday.”

He looked at it. Smiled while he read it. Then he looked at me and shook his head. “Wow.” Was all he said before he embraced me.

“We were on quest to find out why she was different. But the note told it all.”

“We?” He asked still hugging me.

“Seth. I have the lists I will show them to you.”

“Okay. But Lee?” I nodded into his chest. “It is not your fault.”

“It is Carter. Just as much as anyone else that I named. I let her go. She asked me to go out with her and I didn’t stop her. I didn’t ask why. I didn’t even know. Maybe that was the worst of them all, Car. Not being able to know that something was wrong with my sister. With my best friend.”

“Hayley, no.”

“No, Carter. But I don’t think I will ever be able to make you understand. You will never be able to make me think that it is not my fault so just let it be, okay?”

“Okay.” He said in defeat. “ Lee, I’m going to kill Lance.”

I laughed and said, “Only if Meghan already hasn’t.”

He laughed too, “Then he will be twice as dead. Lets go home.” I nodded and we both climbed into his truck.

We’d figured out why Jenny was acting strange that week. Why she got into the car with Justin. Seth helped me not blame myself entirely and I helped him too. I also conquered my fear of riding in cars. But most of all I found out that my sister and I were more alike than I had ever imagined.