You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

Its been two weeks since John left.
Its been two weeks since I last talked to him.

Its been a week since Ive been living on campus.
Its been a week since me and Eric broke up.

Since Johns been gone for tour, I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. He told me he loved me and then left. Hes really good at leaving.

He's also really good at ignoring me.

Not one phone call.
Not one text.
Nothing

He cant tell me hes in love with me and then completely shun me out of his life. I don't work like that. Stuff like that makes me hate guys. But I could never hate John, as much as I want to.

Ive been holding onto my phone like my life depended on it. In some sense it did. I just wanted it to go off indicating John has called or texted. But no. Nothing never turns out the way I want it to. My life just cant be that simple.

I even tried calling John. I was fed up with him not even attempting to make contact with me that I just pressed send on his name.

It rang and rang. I listened to the ringing as my heart was beating out of my chest. Eventually it got to his voice mail and I hung up.

I thought he would see that he had a missed call and call me back, but of course he didn't.

Maybe he met someone on tour. It would make sense. I mean thats why me and Eric broke up...

Actually thats not the full reason. I mean there was that girl he had fallen for while he was out there and then there was Brett.

Since I had moved into the dorms, I made more friends and had an awesome time at school. Not any girls friends..but still.

Brett ended up being in a few of my classes. He actually reminded me so much of John I immediately fell for him. I couldn't help it. He had that cocky arrogant attitude to him that he tried to hide. I liked it. He also seemed protective of me like John. He never let any guy even try to take advantage of me.

Sometimes I felt like John never left. But then there was something about John that Brett could never compare to. I just didn't know what it was.

I told Eric about Brett. I was straight up honest to him. I told him I might possibly be falling for him.

Eric didn't react the way I thought he would. He actually sighed and said "I'm going through the same situation"

I was shocked but then got over it. It turns out Eric was falling for some girl in a band they were touring with. I couldn't be mad at him. I was going through the same thing.

Me and Eric really weren't meant to be. If we could fall so easily for someone else, then that says something.

Besides, I loved John the same time I loved Eric. I loved John more if I remember correctly.

Even though me and Eric didn't have a messy breakup, we haven't talked since our relationship ended. That sort of kills me too. Eric was amazing and I don't want him out of my life at all. He was perfect. But maybe I wasn't looking for perfect.

"Brett, I cant sleep"I whined.

he just chuckled.

"Want to go for a walk around campus or something? Jason's still sleeping so lets not wake him"

"Alright"I smiled as we got up off his bed.

It was around 10:30 at night and I was in Brett's dorm room. No, girls weren't aloud in the boys dorms and vise versa.

But I didn't care. It wasn't like they checked on us. Since I moved into the dorms, me and Brett haven't slept a single night without each other. He would either crash in my room, or like now, I would crash his.

We weren't dating though. I had plenty of reasons to not date him. He got so mad when I tried to explain to him why I wouldn't date him.

Well there was John...but I never told him about that.

Then there was all the girls at the academy. They hated me. The only girl that liked me was my roommate Lydia.

I never thought all the girls hated me. I thought they just didn't want to be friends.

But I soon found out that wasn't the case. They straight up hated my guts.

I was at my locker when a group of girls approached me.

The leader of the pack decided to have a talk with me.She so gladly informed me that I was the campus slut.

I guess I hogged all the guys, and now I controlled Brett like some puppet master. They got on my case for I guess stealing Brett.

Brett was the campus God. Every girl wanted him. He never paid any attention to any girl. But me. Sure Brett did get around... I mean I knew he hooked up with girls...A lot of them. But he never even remembered their names. They were just tossed to the side after he was done with them, as bad as that sounds..

Every girl wanted to get noticed by him. Yes he is attractive. I know that. But its not like I purposely 'stole' him. He was the one that basically came onto me.

He was the one that kept talking to me. I did nothing but be nice in return.

At first I kind of ignored him. Just nodding when he talked to me. I didn't want to be hated and I most certainly didn't want to be known as the campus slut. Like seriously, I haven't hooked up with one guy.

I liked Brett, I really did. Maybe enough to date him, but I just couldn't. For all I know, if I dated him, girls would plan to like jump me or something.

I never did anything with Brett. A simple kiss was all that was shared between us. And only once.

Sure we slept in the same bed together pretty much every night, but we never did anything more then cuddle.

Besides, I wanted John. If I was going to have a boyfriend, it was going to be him. He was going to be my next boyfriend. Sigh. I'm going to die single.

"We have class in the morning"Brett chuckled as we walked down the hall.

"I know" I said with a smile as I swung my hand back and forth. A few seconds later Brett grabbed my hand and stopped me from swinging it as he laced his fingers through mine

"We do need sleep. So in approximately 30 minutes, we are going back to my room"He chuckled.

"Fine"I said with a sigh.

"It looks like we aren't the only ones who cant sleep"Brett said as he lifted our laced hands and pointed down the hall

I groaned and immediately let go of Brett's hand.

"Aubrey"He said aggravated

"What? I don't want them to see me holding your hand and then attack me again"I said as I stared at the group of girls down the hall.

"Who gives a fuck about them?"He groaned

"Well you did when you fucked them"I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Its not my fault they're easy"He mumbled.

"Well I don't even want to be known as another lay for you" I said as I made sure there was a gap in between us as we walked.

"You would never be known as another lay to me. When will you understand that?"He asked aggravated

"Never"I said simply.

"Why don't you believe me when I tell you I like you? You're the only girl I actually like"He said and I could tell he was getting frustrated

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have slept with like a bazillion girls already, I mean you've only been here for like two weeks"

"Aubrey-"He started then I cut him off

"Stop talking about this, they're approaching us"I said as they stepped in front of us.

"Hey Brett"They gushed and I just rolled my eyes. They wouldn't notice anyway considering they were ignoring me. These girls were just straight up stupid. I mean come on, he fucked them, he left them, he could care less about them, but they still flirt with him every chance they get. When will they get the picture?

I just blocked out what they were talking about as I just picked at my yellow nail polish.

"Aubs, come on"Brett said as he took my hand and led me back in the direction of his dorm. I really am good at blocking things out.

"I'm all of a sudden tired"I mumbled

"Good, me too"Brett said as he gave my hand a squeeze.

As jealousy washed over me, I could only think of one guy. Even though I was jealous over those girls and Brett, I could care less about Brett.

I actually just wanted to be jealous over seeing John with Amber.

That way I could actually see him.

I reached into my pocket with the hand Brett wasn't holding and grabbed my phone.

I selected his name and sent a simple text that said "I miss you" just saying it just because. I knew he wouldn't respond, but I just wanted him to know I was thinking of him at the moment.