Confronted By Disgust.
One-Shot.
I'm situated at the edge of the brown leather sofa, accompanied by numerous amounts of coffee stains, ciggerette butts and the unwanted smell of sweat that crept in through the loosely hung curtains. The music continuelly thudded against the green plastered walls, as though the baseline was making it's best attempt to disturb me. I tried to ignore, but failed miserably.
I stood up, catching a glance of my pale reflection in the dusty cracked mirror. I scanned over my appearance and was confronted by disgust. My jeans gripped tightly to the inside of my thighs but then gradually loosened and creased to fit the outline of my ankles. Each checkered colour stood out against the other on my trucker type shirt, but still gave no light to my weary eyes.
I eagerly searched the room.
I needed relief and I hadn't even done my usual routine before entering the stage. I retrieved what I desired and forced my back upon the cold wall. I loosened my knees and let my back slide down the wall until I eventually gave up and let myself hit the hard floor. I bring my knees to my chest and roll the pill between my fingeres. For just a second, I question myself and my actions before pushing the thoughts to the back of my head and swallowing the pure white pill in one swift gulp.
I jump as the door swings open and crashes into the wall beside it, bringing it to an abrupt hult. Before me stands a rather large woman with jet black hair, with loose curls forming at the ends. She urges me to hurry and I scrape my hair back from my forehead as reality begins to sinks in.
The journey from my room to the stage is only a short one. And even though I have made this journey on many occasions, the walk feels like a lifetime. A sense of panic begins to overwhelm me, and a dose of sweat slowly drips from my forehead. Everything becomes a blur and I seem to forget my destination. The same old faces rush by me but I am too unsettled to recognise. The cheers that were once so distant now tremble in my ears. Each single voice becomes louder making me apply a hard pressure against each side of my head with my hands.
And then BANG!
I am center for all to see. My sight is slightly unsettled because of the huge beams of light that are upon me, so I blink a few times before my eyes adjust to the new setting. I glance up at the crowd and see the joy in their faces. Tears, screams, smiles and love fills the stadium and leaves me no choice but to hide my pain inside. Now only guilt is what I feel most.
I notice amongst the many other banners only one in particular. It reads:
'THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME. YOU ARE MY HERO.'
I force the same fake smile across my face and urge the mic in my hand, to my lips. I silently laugh to myself. If only they knew.
I stood up, catching a glance of my pale reflection in the dusty cracked mirror. I scanned over my appearance and was confronted by disgust. My jeans gripped tightly to the inside of my thighs but then gradually loosened and creased to fit the outline of my ankles. Each checkered colour stood out against the other on my trucker type shirt, but still gave no light to my weary eyes.
I eagerly searched the room.
I needed relief and I hadn't even done my usual routine before entering the stage. I retrieved what I desired and forced my back upon the cold wall. I loosened my knees and let my back slide down the wall until I eventually gave up and let myself hit the hard floor. I bring my knees to my chest and roll the pill between my fingeres. For just a second, I question myself and my actions before pushing the thoughts to the back of my head and swallowing the pure white pill in one swift gulp.
I jump as the door swings open and crashes into the wall beside it, bringing it to an abrupt hult. Before me stands a rather large woman with jet black hair, with loose curls forming at the ends. She urges me to hurry and I scrape my hair back from my forehead as reality begins to sinks in.
The journey from my room to the stage is only a short one. And even though I have made this journey on many occasions, the walk feels like a lifetime. A sense of panic begins to overwhelm me, and a dose of sweat slowly drips from my forehead. Everything becomes a blur and I seem to forget my destination. The same old faces rush by me but I am too unsettled to recognise. The cheers that were once so distant now tremble in my ears. Each single voice becomes louder making me apply a hard pressure against each side of my head with my hands.
And then BANG!
I am center for all to see. My sight is slightly unsettled because of the huge beams of light that are upon me, so I blink a few times before my eyes adjust to the new setting. I glance up at the crowd and see the joy in their faces. Tears, screams, smiles and love fills the stadium and leaves me no choice but to hide my pain inside. Now only guilt is what I feel most.
I notice amongst the many other banners only one in particular. It reads:
'THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME. YOU ARE MY HERO.'
I force the same fake smile across my face and urge the mic in my hand, to my lips. I silently laugh to myself. If only they knew.
♠ ♠ ♠
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.Thanks, Jade xo.