Confronted By Disgust. - Comments

I like it, but then again I am a sucker for anything in the realms of drug addicted rock stars, aha. But anyways, I didn't see any grammatical errors, and your descriptions were really, really good. I can imagine everything- being backstage, his panic, dependance on the drugs, the feel of shame when the girl holds up the poster. You create a vivid picture, and I feel like it is something that if you really wanted to, you could make longer and go into why he felt this way, how he got into it, etc. Overall, it was good, and i enjoyed reading it .:)

The summary is actually against the rules. You're supposed to put things like that in the author's note, the disclaimer is fine not including the request for comments. the only thing that should go in summaries are the actual summary, which you don't have, and possible links to a contest or a photo. But otherwise, the summary you have isn't allowed. You also do not need a period at the end of your title.

The fact that your chapter title is One-shot, is not very appealing. I know nothing about this story so I have no idea what I'm about to read, that doesn't really give me the want to go and read this since I don't know what I'm about to read.

Even in the first paragraph I've caught a few spelling errors so go through with Word and see if you can fix that. I really hope that that one mention of 'confronted by disgust' isn't why this piece is called that simply because she doesn't like how her outfit looks. If you're trying to make it about her appearance I didn't get that at all because you didn't give us any detail about it.

The piece was interesting but it didn't really hit me. A drug-addicted performer, rock star maybe? Isn't exactly unique, but a piece doesn't have to be unique to be well-written but I didn't get much emotion or detail from this character. I have no idea why he does these drugs or why he hate himself so much. That's what I'd like to see instead just simply his action. Purpose must be behind action and I don't see that here.

Your writing is good no doubt, the descriptions were on point.
It might have just been me and how I am sometimes, but the point of the story just kind of missed me. I understood that he took a pill to make himself feel better about himself, but as for the whole disgust concept, it just missed me.I feel as writers, we have to help people understand why it is that our characters act the way they do and as a reader, I was unable to see why. Maybe if you provided a little background information as to why the celeb was disgusted with themself, it would have read better to me.

But don't go doubting your talent because of me because you are most definitely a good writer. :]

First of all, your descriptions are impeccable. The layout of the room and the feel of it are perfectly painted for me. The talk of the coffee stains and cigarette butts are a perfect way to give the reader a feel for the room.

I like that it leads up to the fact that she's a singer, or rock star, or whathaveyou. Not the cheesy, "Soandso sat in her dressing room, being famous and great," like always. I loved the way you did it.

I would suggest an original layout. This one doesn't do the story justice. Overall, great job!

To be honest, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one-shot. I feel like something was missing, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Also, things didn't really flow as smoothly for my tastes. I think that perhaps with a little bit more revision, you'd have an even greater piece than right now.

Oh my god. This is amazing. Your writing style is perfect, the flow of the story is perfect. Non existant grammar problems. I realize that whenever I'm reading a good story, I kind of hold my breath without even realizing until I've finished reading it and this story was one of them.

You need a better story layout!! >.<

Is this story about Gerard way? God I hope it is!
<subs> ...oh wait, it's a one shot..bummer lmao.

Keep up the good work =]

Wow this is really good :). I loved how you made it so simple and yet dramatic at the same time. Great job :)

Absolutely AMAZING. You certainly have a way with words and I loved it. You definitely grabbed my attention and that is what I like. I loved the ending, because you have this guy who uses, but in the same time he has fans who he has saved lives, but who saves his?

Keep up the good work :)

There's a few spots of grammar that I noticed, but other than that you're very descriptive with your words, and I was able to paint a picture in my mind of everything that was going on. I could even imagine that I could smell the smells.

I really liked the ending.
I force the same fake smile across my face and urge the mic in my hand, to my lips. I silently laugh to myself. If only they knew. <- Was my favorite line.

I love your style of writing, there is a good voice here it's so mysterious and deep for lack of a better word. It makes you want to keep reading. I love it, it's amazing. The ending took me by surprise making the story even better.

You have an amazing style of writing, your description makes myself feel confused and disorientated.

It opens really mysetriously and I love that, really compells the reader, I was a tad confused at the end so maybe making this abit more detailed would improve it but really the simplisticity to it is what I like the most.

I really, really like this. The beginning is so mysterious and a bit confusing, but it makes you want to continue reading and find out how it ends

In the middle of the story, I could actually feel the nervousness the character was feeling. It was pretty intense and made me slightly anxious, and when the woman came through and the main character became the "center" of everything, it was crazy. The character seemed slightly disoriented and it almost made the reader feel the same way.

The ending was was so unexpected, which only made me enjoy this story even more.

I'm happy Robin suggested to swap this story. It was an amazing read :D

Wow. How come this has no comments? This is amazing. I know it's not about a particular person, but I sense some Gerard Way in this. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the sign. This is some deep writing. The fact that there was no dialogue made it even better for some reason. At first I thought the character was running from the cops or something, but then I got it.

It's amazing because this is most likely what most people go through. I know I fake a smile until I believe it myself everyday. No one sees pain, they see happiness, but inside you're dying. I love this and I'm gonna subscribe just so you know that I like it.