We've Learned to Run from Anything Uncomfortable

Tuesday, May 17th

I walked to the bus stop with my bag hanging from my shoulder. The snow fell lightly and I heard cars fly by in the slush, flicking unwanted water all over me.

I wrapped my light jacket around me tighter and pulled the zipper as close to my chin as I could possibly get it. I hated cold weather. It always put me in a bad mood.

I was in an especially bad mood after last night as well. I arrived home in the hopes of being able to talk my way out of the cigarette stealing. But, they didn’t even listen to my excuses. They wanted me out. I’m not sure where I’m getting stuck for tonight. I’m guessing I’ll find out fourth period.

I walked in the front door to see Mary and Mark quietly arguing. They looked up at me, Mary with small tears forming at her eyes, Mark not looking exactly excited to see me.

I set my bag down on the corner of the couch and let in a sharp intake of breath, “I’m sorry.”

“If you were sorry you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” Mark calmly stated.
“That’s ridiculous Mark. She just wasn’t thinking.”

“I was in a perfect state of mind to think.” I said, gritting my teeth.

“Well, we found another place for you to stay. They don’t smoke there.”

“Listen. I was getting them for someone at school-”

Mark laughed slightly, “Don’t feed us full of your crap Sam. Now go get your stuff. We’ll get it taken care of while you’re at school tomorrow.”

I kicked at a small clump of snow and bit my lip as I looked up to see that the bus still hadn’t arrived. I felt a small tap on my shoulder as I turned to look at a girl at my bus stop.

“There is someone over there trying to talk to you.” She stated.

I turned my head to see Oliver sitting in an old beat up Toyota Corolla. He had his window down and was muttering something under his breath. I walked swiftly up to his car and lowered my head towards the window, feeling the heat hit my face.

“What?”

“Yeh look like yeh could use a ride. Come on, get in.” He grinned, “It’s cold out ‘ere.”

“Its alright.” I said, turning to look at the three people still at the stop, “I’ll catch the bus.”

“Stop bein’ so difficult Sam and get in.”

“I really don’t mind waiting for the bus.” I argued.

“Get in ‘ere. Lets go. I’m gettin cold.” He said, refusing to take my no for an answer.

“Oliver. I promise. The bus will be here any second. I don’t need a ride.”

A sly grin took over his face as he mumbled something under his breath.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“Well, Sammeh. Yer ride too school just lef yeh sittin over ‘ere lookin like a moron. Now get in.” He chuckled.

I turned around only to see that my bus was pulling off towards the road. My bag fell from my shoulder, falling into a pile of slush, “Oh fuck!” I yelled, picking it up and wiping the snow off of it.

“Are yeh getting in er what? I ain gonna sit ‘ere all day.”

I gripped the handle to the car and pulled it open, “If you wouldn’t have been distracting me, I wouldn’t have missed the bus.”

“Yeh er in quite a mood todeh, Sam.”

“Shut up and drive.” I mumbled.

He threw the car in park, “Not like tha’. I ain takin yeh now’ere.”

“Fine.” I sighed, “I have legs. I can walk!” I said, reaching for the handle to his car.

He quickly hit the lock button and smiled softly. I reached for the handle and grabbed it quickly, pulling it towards me. I felt Oli’s hand wrap around mine, pulling it away from the handle.

“Now listen ‘ere Doll. Do yeh realleh wanna walk ta school? It’s cold and wet out there.”

I looked down at his hand, wrapped around mine. His index finger and middle finger grasped around my four fingers while his palm pressed down on my thumb, “No. I don’t.”

“You don’ what? You ain’ makin sense Sam.”

I couldn’t think with his hand wrapped around mine. Of course I was making no fucking sense, “I don’t want to walk.”

“Alrigh then,” He said, removing his hand and putting the car in drive again, “Yeh smoke?”

“Pardon?”

He laughed loudly, “Par’on?”

My cheeks flushed red, “Shut up.”

“Who in there righ’ mind says par’on?”

“Oh fuck off.” I smiled, “Did you say something about smoking?”

“Why, yes.” He grinned lopsidedly, “I did. Woul’ yeh like one?”

I bit my lip softly, “I would.”

He handed me a cigarette and a lighter. I continuously flicked the lighter, but couldn’t get it lit, due to the wind blowing from the open window. I cranked the handle and closed the window.

“Roll up tha’ window, will yeh? My nuts are turnin to raisins in ‘ere.” He scoffed.

I shot him a look as I muttered ‘smart ass’ under my breath and inhaled deeply.

“Jesus, yeh inhale any further and yeh gonna have smoke in yeh damn stomach.”

I ignored his comment and exhaled slowly.

“It been awhile I’m guessin?” He asked.

“Since I’ve had a Camel, yeah.”

“What have yeh been smoking?”

“Salems.” I muttered.

“Ouch. Those are horrible.”

“That they are.” I said, flicking ashes into a cup sitting on the floor.

“So, Sam.” He said, clearing his throat, “I was wonderin, would yeh like ta get some dinneh tonigh’?”

I looked at him, as a smirk crept onto my face, “And what makes you think I want to go on a date with you?”

“Who said I was askin’ yeh on a date?” Oli grinned.

I suddenly felt embarrassed as I choked on a drag, “I was just fucking with you. I didn’t mean to sound..”

“Don’ worreh about it Sam.” He smiled, setting a hand on my knee and removing it just as fast, “I know yeh was jus’ fuckin with meh.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll pick yeh up tonigh’ at six thirteh.”

“Well.” I said, ashing my cigarette, “Good luck with that.”

“Yer wishin me luck? Well, at least I’m getting somewhere.”

I just grinned at him.

“Well, Sammeh. I’ve given yeh a smoke and a ride.” He said, pulling into a school parking spot, “I think you ought ta tell me something.”

I put out my smoke and looked at him, “What do you mean?”

“Abou your life.”

“I have no life, Oliver.”

“Its Olleh!” He slightly yelled, “And, of course yeh do, yer sittin in meh car righ’ now.”

“Well, there isn’t anything all that great about it, to be completely honest with you.”

“I ‘ighly doubt tha’.” He paused, turning the car off, “Yer closed off fer a reason.”

“That reason is my business.”

“It can’t be mine too? I ain’ gonna tell no one.”

“Neither am I.” I said, grabbing my bag and leaving his car quickly.

“Doll!” Oliver sighed, locking his car quickly and stepping out of it, “Come on, yeh know I ain a big mouth.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, yeh didn’” He said, grabbing my bag and pulling me back to face him, “I didn’ say yeh did.”

“Then, what exactly are you saying?” I growled.

“What I’m sayin’ is, I think yeh should open up a bit.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Yer righ’,” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder, “But, I’d like ta get ta know yeh. And ta be completleh honest, yeh ain’t makin it easy.”

I shook his hand off, “I know I’m not.”

“I ain’ gonna hurt yeh.”

“I know that.”

“Then whats the big deal?”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Yeh don know meh.”

“Exactly.” I said, turning to leave.

“Sam!” He said, frustrated.

There was nothing so intriguing about me that had a story behind it. There was no reason for him to be so interested in my life and why I didn’t want to talk about it. It was none of his damn business why I keep closed up.

Its none of his business that the only two people I loved and cared about abandon me at an age I was old enough to know what was going on.

Its none of his business I don’t trust anyone because I’ve never been loved.

Its none of his business why I stay closed up.

I swiftly walked away from the car before Oliver could ask me anymore questions. He was a very open human being, and I had a feeling that he wanted to get to know me.

Why?

I’ve no idea. There is nothing all that exciting about me. I’m a damn foster kid who smokes.