Somewhere We Went Wrong

It figures that I would come off of hiatus right in time for awards season. But I guess the Teen Choice Awards were my favorite. And it had an air of easiness and fun. But,. I felt personally antagonized by the addition of a new award category: Best Youtube video. Ohhh, like that’s a great one. While I stepped out of the limelight for a few months, I did upload a few covers Will helped me with. As per Janet’s request, I had to keep relevant somehow, and NOT in a way that would involve me being drunk, dancing, crying, or all of the above at once. I told her I could accept such.

My new iPhone jingled I picked it up with the already manicured hand while Areli worked on my other. It was a text.

Tweet me back! . from Miley. I laughed out loud, only because it was a stupid request but I guess it made sense to her. I wouldn’t see it any other way and whatever it was, it deserved a response or people would ‘speculate’ I didn’t like her. Everything media related was speculation, especially Twitter. It was silly, or it would be if it weren’t most times accurate. Subliminal tweets between these celebrities who should be somewhat above acting to petty. The idea of Twitter belief was silly as hell, but who am I to say? I’m one of words, so if I have a problem, I’’ll be glad to tell you to your face. I wish more girls were bold and unforgiving and honest; we don’t all fucking like each other!

I pulled up my twitter app and went to Miley’s, reading her latest tweet. “@KyThaLion I miss you, hunti !” It included a picture of us last Summer at her new movie premiere. To be honest, I missed that. Even publicity events with Miley and me were genuine friends. I loved her, more than any other friend I’ve ever had. My pasts with people made me so untrusting of who was genuine; I always watched my back because I felt like sooner or later, I’d end up repeating the past. Another Shane, another betrayal.

I tweeted her back a picture of one of our sleepovers where we looked really ridiculous with a kissing emoji and placed my phone back down.

“What makes people want to betray one person?” I asked Areli..

She rolled her eyes. “Honey, that’s simple. They see strong love, they abuse it because it gives them the most. They’re selfish people.”

I liked Areli. She was beautiful and eccentric with a golden caramel skin tone and the best damn nail artist I’ve found yet. I offered her around because she had a daughter to take care of and she was so creative. And personable. Thinking about her words, I accepted that as valid explanation.

-&-

“Don’t bitch, Miles.” I laughed to myself as we sat in the backseat of a all black SUV. “My boobs look nice, huh?”

“Shut up, Kyle.” She rolled her eyes. “This always happens to me, nobody every fucking listens to my directions.”

“In their defense you are really frickin’ bad at directions,” I murmured.

“Remind me again why you didn’t choose the dress.”

I shrugged. “I wasn’t feeling it.”

“You do look hot though.”

I smiled, “Thank you!” Whipping my head towards the window to see our surroundings. “Come on, Miles, let’s get out now.”

Before any other thoughts, I pushed open the door, leaving the security guy to scramble to my side. I took his hand and eased out. Normally I’d hop out but the long, flowing skirt I had on make it harder. It was a deep orange that went well with the half top/bustier I wore. I went with a lot of rings and a neckace, gold. It wasn’t too much, but it was cute and summery and kept me out of a real dress.
I felt somewhat awkward, seeing as I hadn’t associated with most of these people around me in my absence, and even before. I would’ve had more friends and attention if I went to rehab, I thought to myself.

I felt a hard smack on my butt, quickly turning and seeing Miley. She gave me an encouraging smile that was met with one of my own. She knew. Again, I was thankful for her. “Come on” she looped arms with me, and we headed down the carpet posing for a handful of pictures. As I got back into the swing of things, I began to enjoy myself. Me and Miley even got separated, but I had found my zone. I laughed, joked, flaunted, and posed confidently. I felt like a new person, and I knew I looked sort of new also. Different.

No longer was my hair black and depressing. I’d dyed it honey brown it looked as good as it made me feel. The 20” inch tracks just made me feel more like a mermaid, but who needed to know that.

“Kyle!” I saw a reporter I recognized and smiled, exchanging pleasantries.

“You’ve been out of the scene for a while, how are you?”

“Great! No sarcasm neither, I feel awesome, I’ve been working on my summer body,” I laughed, but it was true, “Just enjoying some time of my own. It was so hectic when I first started., I really wasn’t ready.”

“I’m sure your fans miss you. Do you regret anything?”

“I regret a lot, but I’m working on that. I’m not perfect.” We chatted some more before saying bye. I spied a certain Barbados beauty I missed and ran her way. I’d gotten too close when I realized that the world’s favorite brothers band. I, weirdly, kept my stride and decided to be the girl I’ve been these past few months.

I smacked her on the backside and giggled when she looked back, like she was ready to pounce. When she me. her eyes light up.

“You sneaky bitch! I’ve missed you!” We hugged, and posed like the cameras were practically screaming for. We didn’t speak to anyone, rather stepped back and held our own conversation.

“You good, boo?” She asked ignoring her publicist.

“Yeah, I had to light up before I came here.” She laughed at me. There was no possible way I would come above the influence. “But we’ll see, it’s still early.”

“They don’t let me say what the fuck I want, I don’t like these ones.”

“Ohhh, we’re so sorry that they don’t let you say ‘Bitch’ at a kids event.” She rolled her eyes and we laughed some more before her publicist got pushy and she had to finish up on the carpet. Immediately in her passing, Joe Jonas’ eyes locked with mine. Even though I wasn’t intimidated. I was unsure of what to do.
I hadn’t mended things with Joseph. I didn’t feel like I should apologize, or maybe I just was too self centered...like Joe had said.

I missed Joe and I longed for old times, but there was a lot left unsaid, and from experience, even trying sometimes ruined things.

I glanced away for a moment and looked back. Joe motioned to me, an act that kickstarted my heart. Just a gesture, but it said everything. I was forgiven. I tried not to act mushy as we hugged with the strength of a thousand men but it felt like a weight was lifted as we embraced.

“I love you” I murmured, rocking back and forth.

“”Love you, too, Kylie. Always. I’m sorry”

“Same.” We released and I smiled, not letting my eyes release the tears that pooled. He winked at me, but averted his eyes, letting me know what I had to do.

My happiness was short lived when I had to hug the other two. Kevin first, I whispered, “”Fuck you.” Into his ear. Rude, yes but I wasn’t exactly intrested in what was nice for him. I didn’t forgive Kevin. I never caused him harm yet he’d treated me like a pariah, like I’d crushed his heart.

He acted like I was never like his sister,like I never mattered. And that’s what hurt me. Because he still mattered to me.

“Hi,” I smiled, fake of course. Nick didn’t miss a beat, but I could see his jaw lock.

“Hey, Kyle.” I moved to his side to take some pictures.

“On the count of three, laugh dickface like there’s a bigger joke than your career.” I said through a smile and laughed, heartily. Nick did, but I’m sure he thought it much less amusing.

He turned toward me. “Why don’t you just move along?”

I tilted my head, “No thanks, we’re all friends, remember?”

“Yeah fu-”

“You guuuuuuuuuys” We all knew that voice. Miranda.

I examined her. With bone straight hair and smouldering eyes, she looked pretty hot in a dominatrix kind of way. Miranda was pretty, yes of course, but she was just so damn annoying.

Watching her, I knew this was common Miranda behavior. Her and Nick were broken up. In my new transitioning lifestyle, I refuted any interaction in gossip. Not like I really had anyone to relay me information, so I didn’t know why . But like I said, she was annoying.

As for her and I, we were no longer friends. I always knew I could never trust Miranda and that was shown in all of her actions. She exploited me for media attention and after realizing Nick and I were together before, tried to taunt me with it.

I hugged her and she had the nerve to whisper to me. “Still trying to get him back, Kyle? Desperate, honey.”

I laughed, pulling away enough to look her in the face. “That’s cute. I guess me fucking him while he was with you doesn’t count right?”

I lightly slapped her cheek and, satisfied with my obvious effect, I walked off and into the building.

Let’s give it up for Teen Choice !