Somewhere We Went Wrong

Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
I won't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us…

“Great, Kyle. That’s the last take.” Billy told me and I took the headphones off, stepping out of the soundbooth. “Go home kid.” He hugged me and we said our goodbyes. With a sigh, I took the elevator and walked out of the usually hectic building. The summer air was almost uncomfortable 80 degrees at eight o’clock at night. What was wrong with Los Angeles sometimes?

I kept the windows down in my car down to waft the heat around so I wouldn’t suffocate. I used to love extreme temperatures like the heart of Winter and Summer sun, but now they just made me remember. Life in Jersey, so nice before the end came. It was as if happiness made an abrupt stop in my life and God said ‘Fuck You.’

I tried, for the sake of my driving, to wait until I was home to start reminiscing. Watery eyes on the highway would just get me a hospital bed with my name on it. Once I got home I kicked my boots of by the door and ran up the stairs to my room.

“Kyle!” Renee called to me from her room. Throwing my purse, phone, and bag of chips on the floor of my own room before going to see what she wanted.

“Yes?”

“How was the studio, Home skillet?”

“Ummm, good. We got the final cut for ‘Don’t Forget’.”

“Nice. Well, Janet called and said she actually won’t be home until tomorrow. Delayed flight.”

“Okay.” Janet Markin was my manager. She’s also the amazing woman who helped me get to here I am today. I call her mother because that’s what she is to me and Renee. She lived here with us in this Hollywood home, cooked for us, shopped with us, basically everything our own mom would do if she were here today.

“Okay. I’ll call here in a few.”

“Kay. She told me to tell you to get remember the Acoustic set you have at Verizon tomorrow.”

I nodded and left the room going back to mine. I kicked off my boots and pulled my hair into a ponytail before changing. Maybe I could pull a sleepover with Miranda tonight. It sounded especially good to have any one of my friends here with me for the night.

“Manda?” I said when I heard her high pitched voice.

“Kyllleee!” She screamed, making me laugh.

“What are you doing tonight, Girly?”

“Ugh, I have to catch a flight to New York. Alexa Chung in the morning.”

“For real? I was on there last week. She was…eh I didn’t like her too much.”

“You told me.” She laughed and I smiled.

“So I guess that means no sleepover.”

“I wish we could. I promise when I get back we’ll have our own private party. Me, you, and Ben&Jerry.” Miranda promised, making me laugh, agreeing with her.

“Kay. Talk to you later?”

“Of course.” We hung up and I sighed, lying back on the bed. How boring am I to not have anything to do tonight. I racked my brain for anything and found nothing. No big parties, premieres, not even good reality shows. Bullshit.

“God,” I sighed getting up off of my bed. I needed to find something I only pulled at when I was desperately bored. I went into my closet, grabbing my chair to reach on of the top shelves. Walk in closets have much too many space, but I still found a way to clutter the top shelves.

“Gotcha!” I muttered, grabbing hold of the Etch-A-Sketch and tried to tug it free of some kind of ribbon or string holding it back. Not good. Instead of pulling it free, I caused a whole mess of things to fall down, along with myself.

“Goddamit!” I growled, looking at the mess. My eyes stopped on something I hadn’t seen for about a year. A sky blue wooden box, my name scrawled elegantly across the top. I remembered it. Nick had made it in workshop, his poor excuse for a project. I’d told him it was gorgeous and he said he’d made it for me. I kept it. I kept everythinghe gave me.

But more importantly is what spilled out of the little box. Pictures. Nick and I at the fair, us feeding each other (more or less cramming) ice cream into the other’s mouth. So many things, so many memories I’d probably never get to relive because I was so fucking stupid. The best thing to ever happen to me was gone because I fucked his brother. Some kind of super role model I am. I’m a mess myself.

I started crying, becoming a sniffling mess on the floor of my closet. It was all my fault. The reason me and Nick were over, the reason he was caused the pain of heartbreak. His secret, it hurt but it didn’t matter. What I did… it was horrible. I’m probably among some of the most fucked up people to live.

I let my mind drift off to the last moments of happiness we had before disaster reared it’s ugly head as a backstabbing bitch named Shayne.

…

I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was staring at me like I was some kind of creature while I cried. Nick shook his head in disgust, his lips quivering while his eyes grew red with stress. With a last look he turned, walking away from me. I had nothing to do but to run out of here, my own birthday party turned nightmare. I wiped my eyes before turning to run. The only faces I noticed were Joe and Will’s. Joe holding a look of complete shame and remorse, probably how I would look if my tears held. He knew we were wrong; it didn’t matter if we had resolved it because what happened between us still happened. Different people or not, we were wrong.

Will looked completely crushed and pissed at the same time. His girlfriend, the one that was so great, just turned into a traitor. I didn’t blame him, he couldn’t have known. But now there’s one more heart broken tonight.

That night I didn’t go straight home, I went to sit on the wet grass of the park where me, Nick, and his brothers had our good games of Football and tag. Those memories were no more.

The next morning I had to try and see if I could salvage anything of Nick and I. I had to see him, no matter how shitty I felt or how much he hated me by now. He needed to know I regretted what I did and I truly loved him.

“Kyle. You shouldn’t. Ahh, you shouldn’t be here.” Joe sighed.

“I have to try and do something.” My voice sounded so pitiful as tears threatened. How would I stay strong talking to Nick if my voice was already breaking from the tears while talking to Joe? Suck it up, Kylie, I told myself.

“He’s upstairs.” Joe said like it was a confession and that’s where I went. Up to Nick’s room to see him looking out his window. What was I going to say? That’s what came to mind. I came over here and know that I was so close, I had no idea what to say. My hands started trembling as fright took over. That only got worse when he spoke.

“What the fuckdo you want from me now?” He didn’t turn around put that didn’t mean his words didn’t hurt. I took a deep breath.

“Nothing. Love is enough.”

“Apparently it’s not for you.” He sneered but I wasn’t going to give up.

“It is. That was before. You’re not thinking about that. It was before us. I didn’t love you then. We both just wanted something out of each other.”

“Fuck that Kylie. You screwed my brother. That’s not love.”

“Nick you aren’t listening to-“

“I don’t need to listen to shit. You lied.”

“I didn’t-“

“Yes! You did! You kept it from me Kylie! Keeping things from me is lying to me!” He yelled and I bit my lip as I watched him fall apart.

“But I love you.”

“Yeah?” He laughed, bitterly, “Well sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“Is that how you want it to be? Just like that?” I asked, my voice struggling to stay even.

“Just leave me alone.” He said. And I heard the finality in those words. There was nothing else I could say to ease the pain I caused. He was broken. With one tear falling, I left his house. Not running, not screaming. Quietly, in a trance like state, tears falling like raindrops down the windshield.

I couldn’t let myself ever forget that, no matter how much it hurt; I’d never rid myself of those memories. Shuffling threw the pictures I saw one of my makeshift graduation. When I was finally done with school. I didn’t walk the carpet. Nope, days before I was thrown out for beating the shit out of Shayne and Sara. Monday morning I walked into that lunch room and commenced to whooping those bitches ass at the same time. It really didn’t matter if there was only one of me, I went ape shit crazy on them. Some of the guys tried to stop me, but didn’t succeed. I also left the lasting impression of a black eye on Carter. Security came and escorted me to the principal’s office. Mr. Davis was in there because they knew that if anyone, he could calm me down. But I was calm. Not a scratch on me and I had finished what I came to do. So when Mr. Collins tried to tell me my punishments I told him I wasn’t going to be here anymore anyone. That I was done with this shit and I wouldn’t finish my learning here. With parting words to Mr. Davis, and a middle finger to Collins I left Fallsbrook high, opting for independent studies.

With a sigh, I threw that picture out of the way, opening the box to see what else was there. I found the locket. Of course, the locket. Something Nick never got the chance to give me.


It’s been a month and the school year is over. I haven’t been out of my house for weeks, and it didn’t bother me the least.

I heard someone knock on my open door while I stared outside of the bay window of my room. Weird, no one but Cody and Will came by. Will apologized to me, which wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t his fault. We both cried in each other’s arms, knowing we lost something special to us.

“Kyle.” He spoke my name. His voice was enough to make me turn away and look at him. Joe, looking gorgeous like he always did. He held a box in one hand and his other held something in his fist.

No words left my mouth as I watched him come closer, sitting by me on the ground. I stared as he studied me. The ruined mascara and worn out flannel shorts. The David Bowie shirt that I wore to bed most nights. I could tell he didn’t know what to say; I didn’t blame him. In the name of love, we were both corrupt criminals.

“We’re leaving.” He said. “Moving.”

I didn’t know what to say? I should have expected it, but I didn’t. Leaving…that would make it final.

“He was going to tell you…that night. We got the record deal we were waiting for. He…he was going to ask you to come with us.” Joe confessed to me. The way things should’ve went. I couldn’t do anything but let the tears blur my vision. They didn’t fall. No, not until he showed me what else I was missing.

“He was gonna give this to you.” Joe’s fist unclenched, revealing a platinum silver locket. Heart shaped, with engraved vines on the outside. I couldn’t open it took look inside; didn’t even take it from Joe’s hands, just sat there crying silently.

He unfolded my hand to place the necklace there, closing it back to I could hold onto it as it burned into my palm.

“And this.” The box was opened to reveal something familiar. I recognize the New York puppy and lost it. I flung myself into Joe’s arm and cried. Hard.

“Why, Joe? I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’d never hurt him. Ever. I love him and I broke his heart. I am so sorry” I cried, hitting Joe’s chest until my attempts grew weaker and my body slumped.

“I’m sorry, Kylie. Shh.” He held onto me. This was it. And I knew it. I mumbled and choked on sobs as I confessed until I grew too weak and tired to. When I woke back up, Joe was gone.