I'll Wait Here for You in My Time of Dying

Lesia’s P.O.V

Do you know what is really horrible about being a ghost? I’ve said it before, but the worst part is the loneliness. But even worse? It’s when you have a taste of companionship again and it gets taken away from you.

“Matt? Where the fuck’s the beer?” Jason shouted as he rummaged through the fridge.

“Out here!” Matt called back, laughter in his voice, as he stood by the barbecue, a hand holding a spatula as he flipped a burger over and an arm around Taylor as she cut open some buns.

I didn’t want to begrudge Matt for finally coming out of his shell. And I didn’t want to feel jealous of the time he spent around his friends and his new girlfriend. I was happy that he was living again...but I couldn’t help the jealousy that did bubble up inside of me. I hated that he was allowed to get on with his life when I was still stuck in this limbo.

I chewed my lip as I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning up against the frame whilst I watched Matt’s sisters busy themselves. No one knew I was here. None of Matt’s friends had ever even sensed me. And it was beginning to feel like I was losing Matt as well.

“You're doing the potato salad right?”Lyndsey asked Sarah, who in turn looked a little blankly into her bowl and then at Lyndsey.

“No,” she dragged out in reply and picked up her bowl. “I’m doing the normal salad. You said you’d do the potato salad.”

Lyndsey looked down into her bowl and shook her head. “No...you were supposed to do the potato.”

“No, I was doing normal. Why would I have done the potato salad? I’ve never made a potato salad in my freaking life!” Sarah exclaimed, seeming a bit confused.

“Neither have I!” Lyndsey answered before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Matt!”

Jason chuckled as he walked round to his wife and pressed his lips to hers quickly before snatching up a bit of lettuce from her bowl. I looked over to the door as Matt came casually walking in and couldn’t help but smile as Lyndsey began to shout at him.

“Oh I like the fact that you just casually freaking walk in here! I shouted your name. How did you know I wasn’t on the floor because I’d slipped and hit my head?”

“Because you’d be unconscious and therefore wouldn’t have been able to screech my name,” Matt pointed out with a teasing smirk as he walked over to his sisters. “Now what can I do for you?”

Lyndsey glared up at her brother before muttering some choice words as she pushed him away from her.

“Who was making the potato salad for today?” Sarah asked him, still looking a bit confused.

“Taylor,” Matt replied quickly and grabbed a bit of bread to munch on.

“Taylor?” Lyndsey asked slowly.

Matt nodded and looked between his sisters. “Yeah. Taylor was doing the potato salad and you two said you’d make a huge normal salad.”

The girls looked between themselves before groaning in frustration. Lyndsey grabbed up a big bowl and then they both unceremoniously dumped the contents of their bowls into it. Sarah grabbed the big bowl up and then walked out into the back garden.

“I’ve got salad!” She shouted as she disappeared.

“You married a complete lunatic,” Matt told Jason.

Jason grinned and nodded before running out of the kitchen and shouting Sarah’s name.

“But I forgot that she also married a lunatic,” Matt muttered as he glanced at Lyndsey who was now rummaging through his cupboards. “Now what?”

“Well,” she started and huffed out a breath. “I couldn’t help but notice that there was no Malibu outside. There was 7-up but no Malibu...now explain how I’m supposed to have a Malibu 7 if I have no Malibu?”

Matt blinked at her for a few seconds before shrugging. “No idea.”

I shivered as someone walked through me and closed my eyes for a second before opening them as Lyndsey squeaked.

“This is why I love you,” she commented as she grinned up at her Brian, her fingers already curling around one of the bottles of Malibu he was holding. “Because you like to get me good and drunk.”

Brian smirked a little and pressed his lips to his wife’s quickly. “I do like it when you’re good and drunk.”

Lyndsey giggled a bit before looking over to Matt who cleared his throat.

“You two mind being all...disgusting somewhere other than here?”

Lyndsey rolled her eyes before pulling Brian outside with her, all the while screaming at Zacky to get her some 7-up.

As Matt and I were now the only ones in the kitchen I went to make myself solid, hoping he’d have a moment to talk for a second. Matt looked over in my direction but then his attention went to the outside door. I faded away out of view as Taylor walked in. She smiled at Matt and smacked him on the butt as she passed before kissing him quickly.

“Where’s your bathroom?”

“Upstairs and...screw it, I’ll show you,” he grinned before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the room.

I shivered as they both went straight through me and couldn’t stop myself from watching them as they went up the stairs.

I shouldn’t hate Matt for living...but damn it, if I wasn’t allowed to then why should he?

Matt’s P.O.V

“I’ll give you a call tomorrow,” I muttered as Taylor stared up at me.

She smiled and nodded before leaning up and pressing her lips to mine. I smiled against her lips and pulled her closer to me as I kissed back, nudging her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue. I felt her lips part beneath mine and slinked my tongue past, all but moaning as hers met mine. We pulled away, somewhat breathless after a moment or two, and Taylor smiled warmly up at me.

“Talk to you tomorrow Matt.”

I nodded and pressed my lips to hers once more, not really wanting her to leave just yet. Taylor chuckled a bit and began to back out of my front door before putting her hands on my chest and pushing me away slightly.

“Night,” she whispered and kissed me again, but before I could respond she pulled away and stepped back.

Taylor raised her hand in a wave and I waved back, watching slightly dazed as she walked over to her car. Once she was in and had driven off I finally closed my front door and walked into the living room, slumping down onto the couch. I let my eyes flicker about the state of the place before shaking my head, deciding that I’d just clean up in the morning.

I looked over at the other couch and noticed that Lesia was sitting there, her knees curled up to her chest as she stared aimlessly out of the window.

“You okay?”

She jumped a little, which amused me considering the amount of times that she’s made me jump. Lesia looked over at me and I noticed that her normal bright blue eyes looked dull and a little washed out. She nodded slowly and then went back to looking outside and I watched as she slowly began to fade from view.

“You sure?”

“I’m fine Matt,” she sighed as she finally disappeared from view.

She was definitely lying.

“You’re lying,” I announced to what could have been an empty room. “You’re lying to me. Lesia tell me what’s wrong.”

“How do you know I’m lying?” She grumbled from somewhere in the room.

“I’m just smart like that,” I chuckled.

“Piss off,” she snapped, shocking me into silence.

Or at least almost silence.

“What the hell have I done?” I asked, my voice getting a little high as shock remained in me.

I pushed myself to my feet and ducked just as a bunch of DVD’s came flying out of the rack and over at me.

“What the fuck?” I shouted. “Why are you fucking throwing things at me?”

“I’m not,” she reasoned and I looked to the side to see that she was standing there, looking a little wide-eyed as DVD’s kept falling from my shelf.

“Then what the hell is happening?” I growled slightly, getting a little annoyed that all my stuff was being thrown about.

“I don’t know,” she shouted at me and I looked through to the kitchen as I heard a loud bang, only to find one of the bar stools had fallen over.

I looked back at Lesia and noticed that instead of the dull, washed out look from before that her eyes had held, she know looked downright angered.

“If it’s not you then what’s going on?” I demanded. “Am I having some kind of fucking localised earthquake just for my fucking house?”

“I don’t know what’s fucking going on okay Matthew?” She screamed at me and the coffee table suddenly flew across the room, shattering against the doorframe.

Then things began to piece together in my head. For someone who used to not believe in this kind of thing I was quite proud for realising what was going on.

“Lesia, you’ve got to calm down okay? Because it is you. It’s your emotions that’s triggering it. It’s your anger.”

“Calm down,” she muttered darkly, her arms crossing over her chest and I looked up as my lights began to flicker. “Tell me to fucking calm down.”

“Please Lesia.”

“No!” She shouted and I heard something upstairs thud to the ground. “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down Matt.”

I swallowed down my own anger at how stubborn she was being and settled for just glaring at her slightly.

“Then at least tell me what’s wrong so I know you’re trashing my house is justified.”

“I’m not fucking trashing your house Matt.”

“Well it sounds and looks like you are,” I pointed out and jumped a little when I heard something else fall over.

Note to self, do not anger her further.

I took a breath and tried to calm myself down as the light fixture above me began to shake gently.

“Please,” I pleaded. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll try and fix it.”

Lesia shook her head and I watched as tears began to fall down her cheeks.

“You can’t fix it,” she whimpered quietly and fell to her knees.

I looked up and watched as the fixture stopped shaking. The air felt calm and I knew that her anger had finally gone away but it had been replaced by something worse. I stood there feeling like a complete tool as Lesia’s shoulders shook as she sobbed quietly, her face covered in her hands. I walked over to her and fell to my knees in front of her, wanting to touch her to comfort her but knowing I couldn’t.

“How do you know?”

Lesia lifted her gaze to mine. “Because you can’t make me not dead.”