Don't Remember Me

The boy spun around so that I could see his eyes. They were coal black – the same color as the pupil. But they had some tone of a dream-like expression. They were soft and kind and to be honest, it surprised me. I had expected them to exude some kind of sadism because of what he did. In any other circumstance, I would’ve thought he was cute.
His full lips curved into a smile as his eyes lit up. “I’m so glad you found out who I was!” He cried out in joy. For a second I was taken aback and then I quickly realized that I had ‘business’ to settle with him.
“Listen you fucking punk-” I growled, but he cut me off.
“Daemyn, before you say anything… I wasn’t ever going to tell anyone.” He whispered.
“Like hell you weren’t!” I wanted to hit him – to hurt him. But I found myself easily incapacitated by his eyes. Fucking punk.
His eyebrows bent, making him look sad or even hurt that I’d accuse him of such a thing. “I promise – I wasn’t. I just…” He paused and looked up at me, those captivating eyes pausing my violent thoughts. “Have you been thinking about Hayden…?” He said it quietly so that if there had been anyone else around they wouldn’t have heard.
But that made me freeze. Ever since I met Hayden I had been thinking about him non-stop. Even when I was with someone else. How the hell could I have stopped thinking about him? But I had. I had forgotten; I even blew him off for tonight – something I would have never done.
“I…” I found myself speaking even though I couldn’t say anything. But the answer came automatically. “No… no I haven’t.” I said without my brain’s consent.
“Then I’ve achieved my goal.” He grinned happily. “I’m sorry I did it in such a terrible way, though.”
Before I knew it, I was slumping down against the lockers and tears began to form.
I had forgotten about Hayden; about how I felt for him. I blew him off for hanging out tonight. How the fuck could I do that to him? I’ve loved him for so long that I just assumed it would always be there but the past few days I had been able to forget those feelings.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to get a nurse?” He asked concernedly, kneeling to my level. But I shoved him away and he fell back on his ass.
“Who the fuck said I wanted to forget him?!” I screamed back at him. Well, as much screaming as I could do to avoid attracting attention to myself.
“You did.” He answered. Then he shook his head.
“What the hell does that mean?” I growled, pushing the tears back to let it replace with anger.
“You don’t realize that when you’re with him, you make this incredibly pained face.” He concluded, keeping his eyes glued on mine.
“Fuck. How…” I trailed off, not knowing what I was going to ask, but apparently Brynden did.
“I pay attention.” He answered, nodding. “I’m sorry! I know that sounds stalker-ish, but it’s not- I mean I… umm…”
I glared up at him. He was blushing and his eyes looked sympathetic. “Can I ask you one thing? How the fuck was I supposed to know you weren’t going to tell anyone?”
“Huh? At the end of the week it’s summer vacation. I wouldn’t have any time to tell anyone.” He explained.
Then I did the unthinkable; I laughed at the realization that he really wouldn’t have had any time to tell anyone. How could I have been so stupid?
“I-I just… I really wanted to keep you f-from thinking about him…”
“You did a hell of a job, Brynden.” I sighed, still chuckling.
“I… I just thought that m-maybe you’d be… umm… I don’t know… less sad?”
“Yeah, well, I was too busy pissing in my pants to think about him.” I retorted, letting my head rest up against the lockers behind me. “Why do you even give a damn?”
“I-I don’t kn-know.” He stuttered shyly, lowering his black eyes.
“And for that matter; how did you even know my username on the game?” I asked. He looked back up at me.
“Wh-when I was visiting Brian one time I s-saw you playing a-and I… umm… I asked him what your username was...”
“Fucking priceless. That little shit.“ I hissed under my breath.
Then we sat there for God-only-knows-how-long. I pondered over how not thinking about Hayden made me feel. I mean, at first I thought I was betraying him; betraying my feelings for him. But now I realize how… good it felt to not think about the dead-end romance I had. It was nice to throw away the feelings I had for him and focus on something else.
So then I said something I never thought I’d say. “How about you… make me forget about him again?”
“Wh-what?” He asked, his eyes going wide.
“Just come by my house every once in a while, text me. Talk to me, I don’t know, do something to make me forget him.”
“B-but I…” He was chewing on his bottom lip nervously.
Maybe this kid isn’t so bad. I mean, he did have good intentions, really. “Hey. You started this. Carry through with it.”
The truth was; I just wanted to forget Hayden. Well, not him, just how I felt about him. “A-are you really okay w-with for-forgetting about how you feel?”
“…” I was silent. This was a huge decision I was making and I knew that. “And you’re okay with being a fucking… replacement?”
He silently nodded, looking up from his hands to place his big, black eyes on me.
“Shit.” I cursed, letting my hiss sting the roof of my mouth. “Okay. You made me forget once, make me forget again. I don’t care how you do it; just make me not be able to think of him.”
“I… I can try.” He mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Then he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
“What?” I asked in a strange growl.
“It’s-it’s just… I… it was mean of me to d-do what I d-did an-and you’re still… you’re still…” Then he broke out into sobs, covering his face with his sleeve as he did so. He was trying to tell me I was a good person for forgiving him so easily. Which I kind of was but only because he looked so pitiful and I can kind of understand where he was coming from with this… plotting.
“I’m not a nice person.” I clarified.
“Okay.” He stated simply, instantly accepting that I was a bad person, not giving a second thought to my real nature. Wha the fuck was with this kid? I don’t get him; not at all. Maybe he was desperate. But so was I. I was desperate to forget my forever unrequited love; the kind that I can’t even voice. “I’ll… come over umm… today then…?”
He looked up at me with hopeful eyes. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Yeah, come over today then.” I said defeatedly, giving in to him. “Put your shit in your locker and come on.” I ordered. Like a puppy dog, he obeyed and shoved the binders and notebooks back into his locker before shutting it.
I made my way back to the cafeteria after that to sit with my friends, dragging Brynden along.
Nia gasped when she saw the boy. “Who’s this cutie?” She asked and then Hayden looked over to her and bit his lip. Then I saw their linked hands and it kind of pissed me off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brynden follow my gaze to their hands and then to me.
Then I grinned and grabbed Brynden’s hand in my own. That’s right, he’s supposed to make me forget; what better way was there than this?
“Brynden is my boyfriend.” I informed them. Then I looked over to Brynden, who was blushing and looking down at his black and red shoes. I knew it was wrong to put him into this position; to give him a title he didn’t want. For all I knew, he was straight like Hayden. But he promised to make me forget and if this tactic was what it took, so be it.
“No way! He’s so cute!” Laura exclaimed, pulling up a chair for him next to my usual chair.
His palm was starting to sweat in my hand so I leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Don’t be nervous.” I gave him a sick grin into his scalp, but as I pulled away, it disappeared.
He blushed, but took the seat he was offered, not letting go of my hand. It seemed he remembered his promise. I took the seat I always had.
“Well… how did you two meet!?” Nia was the first to start asking the kid questions.
“Th-through his br-brother…” He whispered, shrinking in his seat. It wasn’t a complete lie. He did, after all, find my username through Brian (whom I still need to beat up for passing on such information.)
Nia gasped and then asked, “Then that makes you in grade…”
“I-I’m a so-sophomore…” He answered, trying to hide himself under his black hair. He was incredibly shy; how… cute. Yeah, I thought the kid was cute, so what? Half of my friends did too.
“Let’s see a kiss!” Laura squealed. Two of the boys at my table, Kaleb and Darryn, grimaced at Laura’s proposition.
Brynden looked up at me, as if looking for the answer. Right… he’s under my control for the time being. “Well?” I asked, egging him on. I didn’t care anymore. The worst thing that could happen was that I would end up wanting to rush home to cleanse my lips, believing that I had sullied Hayden’s name.
Shyly and carefully, he placed a hand on my cheek and eased himself up to my level. I heard him swallow before awkwardly pressing his mouth to mine.
He was a terrible kisser so I thought it was right to assume that it was his first kiss. Was he really going to go that far for me? Then his pulled back just far enough to let our breath mingle, our lips just half an inch away from each other.
Okay, maybe his lips didn’t make me sick, but it wasn’t really a good feeling either. I’d place it under neutral, which was much further than anyone else had ever gotten with me other than Hayden.
And that was when it first occurred to me that maybe, just maybe this kid really could make me forget my hopeless love for Hayden.