Don't Remember Me

I sat up in Brynden’s room on his bed with him playing a video game as he was placed on the foot of the bed and I was leaning up against the headboard.
The blush that had crept over his face when I asked him out was still faintly evident on his cheeks as I stared at him. He must’ve felt my eyes on him.
I tried to study his body; it was nothing like Hayden’s. Hayden was more lean and Brynden was a skinny little kid.But he fit in my arms so well. Not to mention Hayden was taller… and straight.
“Hey.” I started, getting Brynden to look at me with his coal black eyes.
“Yes?” He asked politely.
“I’m sorry. About… everything. When I found out who you were it just… It pissed me off that a kid like you made me forget the one person that I…”
I couldn’t push those words from my lips. I couldn’t say that I loved Hayden anymore. But it didn’t bother me. I didn’t feel disgusted with myself for forgetting nor did I feel like I had blemished Hayden’s name in my mind.
“No! No, it’s fine…” He said, without stuttering. “I-I was being the c-creepy stalker…”
I laughed at his honesty as I laid back onto his pillows. “You ever think that maybe I said I loved Hayden because he was… convenient?“ I asked him in a more serious tone.
“Convenient?” He questioned, with a cutely confused face on.
“Yeah, because he’s always there.” I clarified, motioning for him to come closer to me. He inched over a little bit more but I wanted him to be closer to me. For whatever reason, I just wanted that. “No. Come here.” I ordered in a gentle, urging tone, beckoning him over to me.
“I-I…” He stammered before moving over to me, placing himself against my ribs.
“So what do you think?”
“I-It’s possible… but… th-that might be my o-own wi-wishful thinking…” He told me, blush dusting his cheeks again.
“What attracted you to me?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t my terrible personality.
He swallowed and looked away nervously, apparently not wanting to answer me.
“My great ass?” I tried, grinning at him.
“Wh-what?” He asked, a little shocked. “No! It was… th-the way you l-looked at Hayden with that… s-sad longing…”
I sat up again and then pulled Brynden into my lap. He froze for a second, as if he wasn’t believing that I was holding him like that. But I was.
And it didn’t leave my chest aching for Hayden’s touch. It didn’t leave me feeling like I’d sullied his name either with my traitorous nature.
I cradled the boy against my chest carefully, one arm around his shoulders and the other secured to his waist. This kid cares about me, I know that. He cared enough to become a replacement for Hayden knowing full-well that it could end up in my not liking him in the least or worse – me using him.
I can’t picture using Brynden anymore. I think that everything I’d said to him about him becoming a replacement and letting me use him to forget Hayden was just out of the moment of anger I had for him for tricking me like that.
“H-Hey Daemyn…” He said, turning slightly in my arms to face me, struggling to keep his eyes on me. I used my eyes to let him know he had my attention. “I-I… never said th-this officially b-but… I l-like you…”
My chest swelled at that in a strange way and I couldn’t tell if I was more pained about that or happy.
“Yeah. I know.” I told him, a sad note in my voice signifying that I was sorry I couldn’t say it back.
“I’m sorry I’m a bad kisser.” He apologized, lowering his eyes, averting his gaze.
“Huh?” I asked, obviously forgetting about how terrible of a kisser he was. But it didn’t really matter to me anymore. “Oh.” Then I grinned at him. “Want me to teach you?”
His face jolted upward to face me, his cheeks blooming with blush. “Wh-what? N-no I-”
But I cut him off by letting my hand slide around his neck to pull his face to mine so that our lips were touching. I felt him tense under my lips and against my arms.
He took this kiss slower than the last kiss in the cafeteria. He very gently starting pressing back against my mouth and tried not to make it a bad experience for either of us. His arms started slowly winding back around my neck.
This isn’t bad. Kissing him isn’t bad at all when we’re not being watched by the entire cafeteria. There wasn’t a need to cleanse myself afterwards as we pulled away just enough so that our breath still mingled.
I dove back for his lips, feeling a strange need for them again. He tensed again out of surprise, but quickly relaxed and I felt his fingers play with my hair, lightly tangling in the black locks.
I pulled away almost grudgingly, knowing that we needed air. “H-how… did I-I-I do...?” He asked quietly, blush forming on his cheeks, turning his face red.
“Let’s just say that I like it when you play with my hair while we’re kissing.” I told him. It was partly the truth, but I didn’t want to say that he’s the only want that hasn’t made me want to clean my mouth with steel wool after kissing him.
His face lit up a little bit at the compliment and he gave me a sheepish smile.Which was adorable by the way.
If I wasn’t careful, this kid could really end up having me wrapped around his little finger.
“You weren’t a closet case before we kissed at school were you?” I asked him. He shook his head shyly.
“I-if it… c-came up in co-conversation then I-I’d tell them the truth…” He said, making a face that, in turn, made me want to kiss him again. “S-so a few people kn-know…”
“I won’t tell anyone then.”
“N-no… it’s fine if people know. It’s just…” He trailed off, lost in thought.
“What?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.
“I-it’s nothing.” He whispered. But I was sure it was a lie.
“No, tell me.” I urged him, grabbing his arms to show that I was serious.
“W-well… I just… I w-watched a show a-a while ago a-and they w-were talking about gay-bashing and... and…”
“It scared you?” I asked him. He nodded slowly before I started laughing. His face turned bright red at my laughter. I wasn’t mocking him. “You must be joking – you have me. Don’t leave me and you’ll be safe. Besides, summer vacation is after this.”
“O-okay…” He whispered shyly as I saw the blush cover his cheeks again. Then his eyes caught on something. “Wh-what’s that?” He asked carefully.
It took me a second to realize he was talking about the now fading hickey that Ryan had given me the night we broke up. I grimaced at the thought of him.
“My ex.” I rolled my eyes at the mention of Ryan.
“O-oh..” He mumbled dejectedly.
I grinned at him and his cuteness. Hey, he’s my boyfriend now, I’ll think of him as I please. “Do you want to give me one?”
I think his face went ten times darker with red blush as I said that. He bit his lip and then answered, “I-I don’t know h-how…”
I froze, not thinking he’d actually take me seriously but then smiled at him. Not a smirk or a grin, but a smile. “I guess I’ll teach you that later on.”
I pulled him back down with me and then rolled him off my chest so he could sleep on the bed. “I-I’m sorry! A… are you tired…?” He asked me meekly. I nodded sleepily and pulled the covers over myself. Brynden shut off the game before looking questioningly at me. It was like he wanted to do something but he didn’t know if he was allowed to.
“It’s your bed, you know.” I told him, beckoning him back over to the mattress. He awkwardly sat down on the edge before I pulled him closer to me, covering him with blankets.
His arms eventually found their way around my waist as mine found theirs around his.
“Technically we’re sleeping together.” I said, snickering slightly as he buried his face in my chest embarrassedly.
But the only thoughts that ran across my mind were of Brynden. Not Hayden, not Ryan, not some random chick.
At that point, I realized that I wanted Brynden to break me of my love for Hayden.