Dreams vs Reality

The past month seven months have been nothing short of amazing. Ethan and I have been dating for a while now and he always made me feel like I had the world in my hands. And as he had said, he did talk to April and everything was resolved; we became best friends. It was spring break and we were enjoying ourselves in Florida.

This was my first time in Florida and it was everything I’d ever thought it would be and more. Ethan originally was supposed to go with his friends, but they ended up cancelling for whatever reason. I begged my mom until she finally agreed to let me go. She was a little skeptical about it just being us, alone, in Florida, at a beach house so April agreed to tag along. April went ‘cause she wanted to visit Florida, even if it meant she’d be the third wheel. She really needed get a boyfriend. Not only was it weird when Ethan and I would have our moments and she’d pretend to gag or something, but she always complained to me about feeling left out. I didn’t really know why April was single. April was stunning. She could have just about any guy she wanted. She really enjoyed narrowing guys down to her type though. April was beyond picky. But in rare cases when she’d actually find someone she was into, they either already had a girlfriend or she’d get sick of them in days. She decided to give up, or wait until someone really nice came by. Who knew how long that would take? I guess everyone wasn’t as fortunate as I was, having someone has wonderful as Ethan to care about me and love me unconditionally.

The sun was just about to set and the sky was now a mixture of purple, blue, yellow, and orange. I’ve never really taken the time to acknowledge how beautiful it really was. The thin strips of clouds hovering over the sun, and the sun slowly creeping down, as if hiding behind the ocean, wanting to take a rest from this world, waiting ‘til the moon and stars did their job at night. A cool breeze blew sand onto my feet. It was actually nice, rather than cold. Ethan’s arms were around my waist, my head resting on his shoulder. He brought me closer to him when the breeze returned to us. We were sitting on the steps of the beach house, which we were staying the week in.

“I’m so glad you got to come with me,” Ethan said smiling.
Also grateful my mom let me come I said, “Me too.”
“Are you hungry?” He asked.
“No, I’m still full from the buffet we went to earlier,” I stated, yawning. I was so tired from swimming earlier today.
“Why don’t we get some rest,” He suggested.

As we walked into the house April had already passed out on the couch. She was snoring so loud, Ethan and I couldn’t help but laugh. I grabbed my towel to take a nice long shower. I changed into my PJ’s and when I got into the bedroom I noticed that Ethan lit up dozens of candles and rose pedals. Ethan, sitting on the bed with only a beater and boxers on, was grinning.

“What is this?” I asked.
“For you.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“But I did, come over here,” He said, patting the empty spot next to him.
I joined him on the bed. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
“You’re lucky?” Ethan asked. “I don’t think you can be any luckier than me.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.”

We argued back-and-forth, still contemplating on who was luckier. Our nose rubbing gently against each other and eyes locked. He was now on top of me, my arms above my head with his hands locking them into place. I struggled to get out, but he just laughed.

“Tell me who the lucky one is again?” He asked.
“I am.”
“Wrong answer.”
“Ugh.” I sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to give up. “You are.”
He let go of my hands and smiled, “That’s what I thought.”

Ethan planted his lips on mine and pulled me into a long passionate kiss. I was so into it I hadn’t even realized what had happened: Ethan and I were both shirtless. His hands found its way to the back of my bra, ready to unhook it.

Ethan placed his mouth to my ear and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I replied, my arms wrapped around him and my hands on his shoulder blades. “But I can’t do this.”
He took his hand away from my bra and looked at me and said, “What?”
“I love you Ethan, but I’m not ready.”
He wore a disappointed expression, but he respected my decision. I loved that most about him. “I’m sorry,” he finally said.
“Don’t be,” I said placing his face to its previous position: to the side of mine.

Ethan and I had talked about it before. Sex wasn’t a priority in our relationship. Although Ethan had told me he’d had sex once before, he insisted that he didn’t make love. Only with you it’d be love, I remember him saying clearly. Ethan said he’d wait for me when I was ready and he didn’t care if I wasn’t ready at all. He was just satisfied with having me. There was no doubt I loved Ethan with all my heart, and maybe tonight was the best opportunity I had to do it; Florida, beach house, candles and roses. Everything seemed perfect. But somewhere deep down inside me there was a voice telling me I wasn’t ready yet and I went with that.

With everything said, he wrapped his arms around my torso and pressed his lips against my cheek. I closed my eyes and drifted into to sleep, feeling as if I was the happiest girl alive.

***

I felt myself being lifted. I thought it was all a dream until I was suddenly plopped down onto the warm sand. The sky was all gray and polluted with smoke. A fireman, two paramedics, and Ethan were surrounding me.

“Lily, Lily, are you okay?” Ethan said, shaking me a little.

I was still unaware of what was happening. I sat up right and looked around. Two fire trucks were here, and April was getting into an ambulance. I looked over to see the beach house. Flames were flaring from the roof and the firemen were hosing it down. Blocking out everyone’s question to me, I got up and ran back into the heated beach house.

“Lily!” Ethan screamed, running after me.

I looked into the room Ethan and I slept in last night. The bed was on fire, along with the window and everything else. I pushed everything in my way aside and looked through my suit case. Where is it? I thought. The smoke was really bothering my lungs. I didn’t know how much longer I could take it.

“Lily? Where are you?” I heard Ethan call out my name.

After digging up to the bottom of my suitcase I found what I was looking for: a locket Jesse gave me with a picture of him and me inside as a kid. I placed it around my neck and tried to find my way out. The room was boiling. I coughed and tried to fan away the smoke. I could see Ethan at the door. My legs suddenly got weak and I fell to the floor. Everything went black.