You Should've Come With A Warning

CH 15

The more time I spent trying to get over Jordan the more I realized it was impossibly hard. I had cried all night after I got home from the club because my heart was broken. I hated myself, and I wanted to hate Jordan- I hated what he did to us- but I didn’t hate him. I hated this situation. I hated hurting Jordan. I know I wanted revenge on him, but it wasn’t benefiting any of us. When Sid called I almost decided against answering, but I had to deal with what I chose.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Sid asked me through the phone.

“I…I guess, yeah” What else was I supposed to say?

“You sure, you seem pissed off,” he questioned.

“No, I’m good, just a little busy that’s all. Yeah, I’ll be there tonight. Who’s coming?”

“The guys, you know,” he answered nonchalantly.

“Is Jordan?”

“I don’t want to fight with him forever. He’ll just need to get over whatever his problem is. You’re my girl.” I wanted to throw up. He spoke of me like I was his property; at least that’s how I felt.

“Uh huh, okay well, I’ll see you later,” I hung up as quickly as I could.

I wasn’t his girl. I was trying to be, I really was, but my heart was with Jordan. I was trying to get it back but I wasn’t doing such a good job. If things were different it might be easier, but they weren’t. I’d been so stressed out and upset that I didn’t realize I’d lost weight. My tiny waist had become even tinier, and considering I was decently tall it made me look a little too thin. It wasn’t noticeable to me until I put on my pants and they felt baggier than usual. I made my way over to Sid’s and gave myself a pep talk the entire way there. I still didn’t know how to be around Sid and Jordan at the same time, and I couldn’t figure out how Jordan could handle it- but it was the only way for him to be by me and I suspected that was a huge reason why he put up with it.

I took a deep breath and let myself into the house. The guys were already there and the first person I locked eyes with was Jordan. It suddenly became hard to breathe and I had to immediately look away from him.

“Is that you Anna?” Sid yelled.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I answered.

He got up walked swiftly over to me. “Hey baby,” he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the lips. I felt like he was marking his territory with Jordan sitting in clear view. Jordan closed his eyes and turned his head in agony. He tried to make it look like he was stretching his neck but it was obvious to me that he was ready to snap. “You look great babe,” Sid put the tip of his nose to mine.

“Thanks,” I laughed nervously. “You guys hungry or anything?”

“No, we ate, we’re good.”

“Speak for yourself, I could go for a snack,” Jordan answered.

I turned my head to look at him. “I’ll go make something real quick then.” Thank God. I knew I’d be alone in the kitchen, they barely knew their way around it. I wormed my way out of Sid’s grasp and briskly walked into the kitchen to take a deep breath.

I finally started to relax and take stuff out of the cabinets when I heard Sid come in behind me.

“What’s up, what do you need Sid?” I didn’t turn around and I partially expected him to start groping me.

“You.” I felt my heart sink as I quickly turned around to face Jordan.

“What,” I swallowed. “What are you doing in here Jord?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to talk to you I guess.”

“So talk,” I tried to play it cool and turned back to what I was doing.

“Do you remember that day I had you meet me at the arena and when you showed up we went skating?” The memories came flooding back and I was beginning to unravel.

“Yeah, I do.”

I felt him coming closer and closer to me from behind until I felt his hands gently rest of my waist. “When you told me that you couldn’t feel the way you felt about me for anyone else…did you mean it” he softly whispered into my ear.

I was melting into him. I didn’t want to answer this question but after a few seconds I composed myself. “More than anything,” I quietly let the words fall out of my mouth.

“Then why are you with him?” Jordan pulled at my waist and slowly spun me so that I was facing him.

“Because it’s easy Jord. He wants to be with me, I know him. He’s safe.”

“But you don’t love him.” There was nothing I could say to him, I didn’t know how to respond. “Anna…please tell me you aren’t sleeping with him…”

I shook my head, “No…” I whispered. Then I looked up at him. “Why would it matter if I was though? Why is it okay for you to have sex with someone else but wrong for me to try and get over it?”

“I don’t want to get over you,” he stammered. “And if you were okay you wouldn’t be losing weight; you’d be yourself.”

“Then why did you do what you did? Jord, this isn’t fair. One second you freak out on me and the next you’re begging for forgiveness. I can’t take this back and forth. I need to be able to trust you. That’s the thing, with Sid I have that security.”

“Security? With Sid? Are kidding me? You’re just burying yourself into him because you’re pissed at me. There’s no security, you guys aren’t meant to be together.”

“Oh really? And you’re so certain of that?” I spat back.

“Yeah, I am- because we’re meant for each other,” his words were tender but tortured. “Does he know about us?”

“No and I don’t want him to ever find out.” I said softly.

“We happened you know. You can’t just pretend we didn’t because you’re mad at me.”

“What the hell is going on in here?” Jordan and I both jumped as Sid entered the kitchen. “So you were together? I friggin knew it. Dude, get your hands off her- now!” Sid was freaking out at Jordan. He wasn’t even acknowledging me.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Jordan yelled back. “And yes, we were together. The reason we aren’t anymore is because I messed up the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Well your ship has sailed, so get off her and get out of my house,” Sid pushed Jordan away from me.

“Don’t touch me,” Jordan shoved him back. I ran in-between them before they could get into a full-blown fight.

“Stop!” I scream. “Knock it off, both of you!” I was lodged in the middle with my hands resting on both their chests, trying to keep them apart but they didn’t listen. “Kris! Kris, get in here!” I screamed in panic.

Kris came running in and grabbed Sid as I pushed Jordan back. They were breathing heavily and waiting for the opportunity to pounce on each other again.

“Get out,” Sid wasn’t screaming anymore. He was eerily calm and his voice was uncomfortably low. It was a demand, not a request.

Jordan lingered for a moment but he didn’t say a word. He was staring back at Sid but then glanced at me, I was already looking up at him so when we made eye contact he could see that I was pleading with him just to be the bigger person and go so that they could both cool off. I didn’t want to see them fighting. Jordan pulled away from me and stormed out the door, leaving Kris, Sid and I speechless.

Sid turned to me, “I can’t believe you lied to me- to all of us. When did you two happen?”

“Sid, I don’t want to even get into it.” I was pleading with him to drop it.

He wasn’t having any of it. “Tough shit.”

“It happened a while ago okay? I’m not getting into details, so you’re gonna have to live with that.”

“Why’d it stop or whatever?” he pressed.

“He slept with someone else.” The pain in my voice was clear, it was something that hurt me to talk about.

“Typical. Whatever. There’s clearly still something there. I don’t want you seeing him anymore.”

My jaw dropped slightly. “Sid come on.”

“No, you two shouldn’t be around each other. I don’t want him around you. We’re together now, remember? He had his chance, he apparently screwed it up, so don’t ‘come on’ me.”

“Crosby, seriously man, you can’t forbid her from seeing him,” Kris tried to reason with him. “It’s inevitable.”

“I don’t care,” he spat back. “They won’t be around each other whenever possible.” I could tell that in his mind he was planning on keeping us apart. There wasn’t much to be done. Jordan wasn’t mine anymore; he had messed it up. My heart still belonged to him- I was pretty sure he still knew, and Sid just figured out.

Sid stormed out of the kitchen and I turned to hug Kris. “Looks like you’ve got some tough decisions to make, one way or another.” And I knew he was right.