You Should've Come With A Warning

Ch. 14

I was slightly out of breath when Sid arrived, my face was red and wet from the tears that streamed down. I tried to cover it up and make it as not noticeable as possible, but the evidence gave me away.

“What’s the matter?” he was immediately concerned.

“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” I didn’t know how he wasn’t going to find out. My room-my bed smelled like Jordan, hell, I smelled like him. I just made love to the man I was actually in love with and now Sid was here, and I was going to have to pretend.

“Anna,” he grabbed me before I could turn and walk away, lifted my chin so that I was looking him in the eyes, “talk to me. What’s the matter?”

The problem was that I wanted to run after the love of my life. I hated him but loved him at the same time. He drove me crazy but was the only thing that made sense in my life. He screwed up, and that changed everything, but right now so was I.

“Sid, trust me, just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Does it have to do with what happened before when we were in the locker room?” He had no idea.

“A little bit.”

He lightly kissed me on the lips and I didn’t respond. He pulled away and looked at me. “It’s okay, relax.” He ran his hands down my sides and began groping me. His hands traveled down to my ass and he rubbed it, I knew what he had planned and what he wanted.

“Let’s just watch tv or something. I’m tired Sid.”

“Alright.” He took off his shoes and walked over to my couch. I went to sit next to him but he pulled me down and we ended up in a spooning position. His hands started exploring my body once again. He pushed himself against me harder, started lightly kissing my neck and tried to slide his hand down the front of my pants.

“No, I don’t want to.” I pushed his hand away. “I just want to chill out, okay?” I was irritated.

He sighed in frustration, “Fine.” He slammed his head down on the pillow and limply rested his hand around my waist. “It’s been a crazy day and I want to celebrate with you, I have a lot of adrenaline built up. Sorry.”

“Well, I’m really tired and clearly upset, so you could respect me a little by not pushing me.”

“You won’t talk to me about whatever’s wrong.”

“So what, just be there for me.” There was nothing else I could say. I didn’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want to be in his arms. I just wanted my life to go back to the way it was, before I even met these guys, because it’d never been so complicated than it was now.

After about an hour I couldn’t stand being in my skin anymore. “Sid,” he grunted because he was dozing off. “It’s getting late and we’re both tired. It’s been a long day, I think you should go home and get some sleep.”

“I could just stay here,” he mumbled, eyes still closed.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” that was the worst thing that could happen. My bed was stained with evidence from Jordan and I only two hours ago and I knew Sid wanted to have sex with me, he was going to try, and that was a battle I didn’t feel like having. “I have work in the morning and you have practice, plus you guys are leaving for a few days.”

“Exactly, I’m going to miss you…”

“I’ll miss you too, but you know what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

He sighed as he sat up, “Fine, fine. I get it. I’m going babe.” I was breathing a sigh of relief as he said that. I needed to be alone and figure out what happened and what I was going to do. “Wanna go dancing when we get back?”

“Sure.” I walked him to the door and waited as he put his shoes and coat on.

He turned to kiss me and pulled me in close to him. “Good night Anna.”

“Night Sid,” I gave him a peck on the lips and almost rushed him out the door. When he left and I was alone I took a deep breath and felt like running into oncoming traffic. I didn’t know what to do. Most girls would be dreading their boyfriend going away for a few days, but I was relieved. I needed to be alone and not have Sid try to get in my pants when all I could do was think about Jordan.

After the three days they were gone I didn’t have any answers other than I knew I loved Jordan and it was impossible for it to work.

Sid called me when they got back and asked me to meet them out dancing. That was the thing though, I had no problem doing that, but Jordan would’ve been over immediately just to pick me up and hold me in his arms. He would never have made me go to meet him. Then again, he also nailed another girl, so I guess it balanced out.

When I got there the guys had already started drinking. I looked around the room for Jordan but pretended I was looking for Sid. I didn’t find Jord but I didn’t have the opportunity to keep looking because Sid bombarded me. He squeezed me tightly in his arms and kissed me longer than was appropriate in public. When I pulled away from him I saw Jordan glaring at me from behind Sid at the bar. He looked devastated and I didn’t feel much better than he did.

“Dance with me? I missed you,” Sid pleaded.

I let him lock our bodies together on the dance floor and, like he normally did, he ran his hands along mine. When I looked across the room I saw Jordan looking at me angrily and watched as he went up to a random girl and started moving his body along with hers. It infuriated me and made me want to vomit even more than I already wanted to but I couldn’t necessarily blame him. I was torturing him every second I was with Sid.

It was reminiscent of the night we were in New York. I was dancing with Sid, feeling his lips along my neck and hands everywhere and he was dancing with another girl out of spite. Our eyes were locked on each other and the tension between us was growing even though we weren’t together.

“I’m gonna go get a drink, want one babe?” It must’ve changed to a song that didn’t do much for Sid, he was quick to run to the bar.

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

I started to follow him, but Kris grabbed my waist and spun me around.

“Mind if I steal her for a dance?” he asked Sid.

Sid looked at me and back and Kris, “I guess not,” he said hesitantly. He was obviously uncomfortable with it and he let his hand linger with mine as long as he could before we were out of reach.

Kris pulled me far away from where we left Sid.

“Finally, I’ve got you to myself.”

“Yeah and what do you intend to do with it,” I teased back.

“Actually, I just need to talk to you-without Sid being up your ass.”

I wasn’t expecting that type of response. “Talk to me? About what?”

“Jordan.”

I felt like bricks dropped in my stomach. I turned to walk away but he pulled me back.

“Wait, wait, c’mon Anna, don’t leave.”

I turned and looked at him with the death glare.

“I’ve kept my mouth shut for a while, I’ve never pressured you to tell me more than you wanted to, but I’m not an idiot. I know what happened, I know he loves you and you love him and I know you’re hurting, but so is he. You don’t even know. He loves you so much, he hasn’t directly said anything to me because he still thinks I don’t know-and I think he prefers it that way- but he’s said enough, it’s not like I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Kris, it’s so much more complicated-“

“No,” he cut me off. “It’s not. I know what happened, I told you. You’re killing him. You and Sid- he can’t stomach it. He’s absolutely miserable. He isn’t sleeping, he’s walking around like a zombie. I know he screwed up big time, and I don’t know if I could forgive him if I were you, but can’t you at least try? This isn’t fair to either one of them.”

I looked down and let my shoulders fall. “You’re right. I know,” I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

“Look at me,” I looked up completely devastated. “You still love him right?”

“Yes,” I nodded my head.

“I know he loves you, and I know you know it as well. Sid…I don’t even know what to say about that because it’s not going to last.” I looked at him with shocked hurt plastered on my face. “Oh don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. You don’t look like you can stand him touching you half the time.”

“Does Jordan know that?”

“He knows you love him, at least I’m pretty sure he does. He’s well aware of the fact that you’re hurt and he screwed up and this is what he has to deal with because of what he’s done.”

“He doesn’t seem too depressed over there with that slut.”

Kris laughed, “He’s only doing that to get to you. He won’t even remember her by the end of the night because he’s so hung up on you.”

“And you know this even though he hasn’t told you about us.”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“He’s talked about you without telling me that it’s you. Put that on top of me already knowing about you guys and it really isn’t so hard to figure out.”

“I get it,” I sighed. “You have no idea how miserable I’ve been, how miserable I am right now.”

“Love is a tricky son of a bitch,” he said matter-of-factly.

“You have no idea,” I tried to smile. “So he isn’t sleeping with a different girl every night?”

“Hell no! He hasn’t looked at another girl. Since you came into our lives he’s changed-for the better. He obviously isn’t perfect, but you guys together…you’re your own version of perfection, and I’ve never seen him really be in love before. I’m actually a little jealous. I wish I could find my perfection.”

I closed my eyes and felt the tears fall harder.

“Don’t cry,” he pleaded. “Sid’s gonna get pissed. Look, I’m not trying to pressure you, I just know you aren’t happy either and you need to know what’s going on.”

I tried to enjoy the rest of my night, I wanted to talk to Jordan but I was afraid. He was so angry with me, and I had to deal with Sid. No matter what I did, or who I talked to, Kris’ words rung through my ears all night long, and when I finally went home I crawled into my bed and sobbed.