Say Your Prayers, You're Really Gonna Need Them.

★ ★ ★ - Indicates point of view change.
This chapter contains reference to drugs.

-

We had a couple of lines and lay back onto the bed, both staring at the ceiling.

“You know what you asked me earlier.” I questioned quietly.

“I asked you a lot of things.” Ruse responded.

I rolled my eyes, “You asked me why blood?” I probed.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I don’t know exactly why, but you see,
I’m not alive and I'm not dead... vampires are kind of stuck in the middle, waiting.
What for I don’t know but it makes you hurt, It’s painful to be undead.
I know this just because I feel it, the hunger is about a thousand times worse that what humans experience and blood is a big part of a life force so I'm pretty certain that’s why we need it, it dulls the aches,” I paused, thinking carefully before continuing.

“If a vampire doesn’t feed for long periods of time they can become feral, like an animal and when it gets to that point, they tend to revert to how they were they were originally turned, all they can think about is the kill, the feeding and the blood; you don’t see many like that now... they usually get destroyed by other vampires due to excessive feeding, making it difficult for normal vampires to feed without suspicion... so they get wiped out.” I concluded with a sigh.

Ruse didn’t say anything for a while; I listened to her breathing adeptly.

“How do we not notice any of this?” she asked, more to herself than to me.

“Like I said... humans are pretty ignorant... if they don’t want to see it they won’t.” I smiled.
She didn’t reply, just turned her head to look at me.

“What does it feel like... the pains?” she asked with poignant eyes.

“It’s hard to explain, when you’re hungry... your throat cracks and your brain feels like it’s too big for your skull. Your whole body just aches and when you start to become feral you become like an addict trying to get off heroin, you shake and sweat, become sadistic and malicious, the only strength you can muster is when you’re about to kill.”

Ruse was quiet again, she was a good listener... either that or I’d scared her into silence.

“Well that’s incredibly scary...but can you revert, and go back to how you were before after being in a feral state?” she asked quietly.

“I think so, but you have satiate the hunger... you have to remember it’s like losing your mind.” I replied.

She nodded and we didn’t speak for a few minutes, whilst we adjusted.
“Can you control people?” she whispered.

“To an extent, yes,” I said with a small nod of the head. “I can make them feel things, make them submissive or calm, make them feel anything... it makes us incredibly efficient killers, saying that though a lot of vampires don’t use it.” I said, shifting my weight slightly.

“Why don’t they? Have you ever used it on me?” she asked looking a little bewildered.

“The same reason I don’t use it on you.” I replied bluntly.

“And that is?” she probed, I knew by the defiant look in her eye that she wouldn’t let this drop until she had the answers.

“Because I’m a sick fuck who gets off on fear.” I said with a casual shrug, the whole gesture was slick with an arrogant glaze, but I couldn’t help it as I was once again filled with the fervent need to shock her, I don’t know what it was that fuelled it; Maybe the alcohol, maybe the intoxication from the drugs or maybe just the close proximity between us and the fact that her every exhale was sending her scent my way.

It occurred to me then that Ruse still hadn’t said anything for a while, but I didn’t need to think anymore of this as she was now stood and the next noise I heard was the click of the bathroom door lock; Followed by a silence that separated us.

★★★

I took a deep breath, resting the back of my head against the bathroom door.

I’d made a mistake; I shouldn’t have even got off the bed... I should have waded through whatever bullshit mood Harlan was in and endured it.

I wasn’t a moron, I was quite capable of giving as good as it got; but maybe that was exactly what he wanted... to goad me into something, but I hadn’t taken the bait.

I had avoided it all for the moment.

I don’t know how long I could stay in here though and so taking another breath, my hand gripped the door knob, I had to do this.

*

I opened the door back up, and stepped back out into the room.
Harlan was now leaning against the window looking out; I wished for a moment that I was invisible.

He didn’t turn as I was began reaching for the bag or my beer, but just as I went to retreat back into the lavatory he was behind me, arms winding around my waist, his nose smelling along my collar bone.

“You know, I still can’t believe the effect your blood has on me... I’ve fed tonight and yet I could so easily go for a supplementary, thanks to you,” he whispered perilously in my ear.

The whole act made me shiver; I exhaled slowly and shakily before squeezing eyes shut.

“I know your scared, your heart feels like it’s about to make a break for it out of your chest.” he continued.

“It’s the drugs,” I whispered, trying hard to find my voice “they increase your metabolic rate, which inevitably does the same for your heart.” I finished, hoping that I had a confidant ring to my voice, as opposed to a squeak.

“You don’t have to tell me that, but I think we both know that’s not the reason you’re trembling.” He chuckled.

I pulled away before spinning around to face him; he had a smirk plastered on his lips.

“What are you trying to prove Harlan? If you wanted me frightened you got your wish. I'm scared, so do whatever you’re planning to do, or piss off and leave me alone.” I hissed, swaying a little.

His smile widened and he took a step towards me, I was determined not to show the unbridled fear that was brewing inside and held my chin up as he got very close.

“I want to make you come undone.” he whispered, causing his breath to percolate over my face.