Nothing Goes As Orchestrated

Saturday morning came quickly and Cassie pulled up in front of IHOP a little after nine thirty. Much to her surprise, Alex was already there waiting outside the restaurant for her. As soon as he saw her getting out of her car, he stood and walked over to her.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she said as she shut the car door.

An awkward silence fell over the two and Alex sighed, "Do I get a hug?" he asked, letting out another sigh when Cassie's eyebrow raised, "It's just a hug, Cassandra," he said.

Cassie nodded and took a step toward him, her arms circling his waist. With a small smile, Alex wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body tense as he pulled her closer to him. The smile fell from his face and he dropped his arms immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, "I'm just," she sighed, "I don't know."

"Well, let's go get some pancakes," Alex said, turning and walking toward the doors.

Cassie followed him inside. The hostess led them to a booth and left them alone. They looked at the menu in silence. Cassie's stomach turned somersaults and the thought of eating made her nauseous. She closed the menu and sighed.

Alex looked up at her, "What are you getting?" he asked.

"I'm not really hungry," she said, staring down at the table.

"Are you ready?" the cute blonde waitress asked pleasantly as she came up to their table.

"Yeah," Alex said, "I'd like the Smokehouse Combo with scrambled eggs."

"Did you want anything to drink?" she asked.

"Iced tea, please," Alex said, handing his menu to her.

The waitress smiled sweetly at him before turning to Cassie, "And what about you, sweetheart?"

"I'm not really-"

"She'll have the Buttermilk Pancake Combo," Alex cut her off, "With sausage. Eggs sunny side up, please. And the mocha iced coffee," he said, taking Cassie's menu and holding it out to the waitress with a smile.

The girl wrote the order down and took the menu from Alex, "Making sure your girlfriend eats. That's pretty impressive," she said.

"I'm not his girlfriend," Cassie said, "And I'm sitting right here. I can hear you," she snapped.

"My apologies," she said, "I didn't mean to offend you. My wording was wrong, I guess. I just meant that most guys wouldn't do that. I thought it was really sweet of him, actually."

"Well, either way," Cassie replied, "I'm still not his girlfriend."

"Right. Again, I'm sorry," she said, "I'll be right back with your drinks. My name is Megan. If you need anything just let me know," she said and walked away.

"Did you really have to do that?" Alex asked her.

Cassie looked at him, "I'm sure you weren't going to tell her," she said.

"Why are you being so hostile? You asked to see me today, remember?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh.

The silence fell over them again. Alex stared across the table into Cassie's eyes. She looked back for a moment before dropping her eyes down to the table, thinking breakfast was a bad idea. Nothing would get solved.

When the waitress returned, she set drinks down and Cassie turned to her, mumbling a thank you and offering a forced smile. She walked away again and Cassie looked back down at the table, avoiding Alex's gaze that she could feel on her.

"When did we get awkward?" he asked.

Cassie sighed and shrugged, taking a drink of her iced coffee, "I guess when you called me a whore," she said quietly, playing with her straw.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," he said quietly.

"It doesn't matter if you meant it, Alex," she said, looking up at him, "It's the fact that you said it at all when you know how much it hurts me."

"I was hurting too, Cassandra," he said, "I had just watched you kiss my best friend. How did you think I would react?"

Cassie sighed, "You have a girlfriend, Alex. And she was there. But regardless, you didn't have any right to get mad," she said.

"Why not? Having a girlfriend doesn't change how I feel," he said, "She's not the one I'm in love with!" he blurted out.

Cassie stared at Alex in utter shock, speechless. It took her a minute but she finally recovered and blinked a few time, "Neither am I," she said.

Alex sighed loudly and leaned back, "Yes you are!" he exclaimed, "God, Cassandra, why don't you get it? I wouldn't keep fighting to be part of your life if I didn't love you. I wouldn't constantly put myself out there for my heart to be shattered time and time again if I didn't think this would be worth it in the long run. I'm not that guy. And I know you fucking know that."

"Then why are you still with her?" she asked, exasperation evident in her tone, "If you love me so much, why haven't you broken up with her?"

Alex was silent as the waitress came back once again with their food. As she set the plates down in front of them, Alex and Cassie both offered her pleasant smile, no trace of their argument evident on their faces. But as soon as she walked away, they both sighed.

"Because I don't want to be alone," he said quietly, staring at his plate, "At least she can distract me for a little while from the fact that my heart might as well not even be my own anymore."

Cassie sighed, "She's going to end up hating you, you know," she said.

"I don't care. I know what I'm doing is wrong, and I deserve to be hated once everything comes to light," he said, "I just don't want you to continue hating me. But I don't deserve your forgiveness."

She bit her lip and looked at him, "Your mom said you felt that way," she said.

Alex let out a dry laugh, "She did?" he asked and Cassie nodded, "She just can't keep her mouth shut," he said.

A small smile crept across Cassie's face, "She seems to really like me," she said, "Judging by the things she said to me. Or more what she was insinuating."

"She does," Alex said, "Since before she ever met you."

"I just don't understand why you feel that way," she said quietly as she picked up her fork and stabbed an egg yolk.

"I'm not the kind of guy who's supposed to end with a girl like you."

"What do you mean?" she asked, the tension finally starting to fall away from them.

Alex sighed, "I'm a dirty, goofy, fuck up. And you're a beautiful, intelligent, independent, confident woman. We don't exactly go together," he said.

"You're too hard on yourself."

He shrugged, "Everyone tells me that's who I am. I should've known that I would never be able to keep you," he said, staring down at his plate.

"That may be how you act often, Alex, but that's not who you are. You can't go off what other people say. Do you know where I would be if I did?" she asked, "I would be living with my parents still, working some dead end job, dating some guy who didn't give two shits about me other than getting some ass," she said, "You are who you want to be, not who other people say you are."

Alex looked up from his plate and straight into her eyes as her words hit his ears. He would never be able to fully understand her. Somehow, even after as much as he'd hurt her, she believed that he was a good person. He couldn't even bring himself to believe that.

"And I don't hate you," she said quietly, looking down at her plate, "Just for the record."