Fly With Me

I consider it, contemplating. “Hmm… maybe,” I allow. “It could be nice.”

Nick chuckles and kisses the top of my head. I return it by kissing his jaw and hand on my shoulder, and we continue walking along, enjoying the ocean breeze, while also doing a little bit of window shopping- Ree and Mary both are demanding I bring them something from the fabulous NYC, after all.

And so, fifteen minutes before three, Nick and I return near the docks and I’m carrying a small bag for each Mary and Ree that have little boats in bottles plus a few postcards and some special small-brand candy bar that sells like crazy only here in New York. Plus Nick had seen me eyeing a framed photo of the ocean, and bought that for me. But I’d only let him do it on the condition I treated us to the sea side’s famous fish sticks that tasted odd to both of us, and carry the bags for a while.

Kevin’s already waiting and we hang around for Joe and Frankie, who had gone out together, looking for shells on the shore. Two minutes till, they arrive. Joe’s pulled away into a quiet side of the shops, and I’m left with Frankie.

“So…” I raise my eyebrow. “Find any shells, pal?”

“This one,” he grins, showing me one. “It’s pretty like you!”

“Aw,” I ruffle his hair, grinning. “Thanks, buddy. That shell is awesome.”

He nods. “So what are we gonna do now?” He asks me, looking up and cocking his head like the cute kid he is.

“Um…” I grin. “Candy shop?”

“Yeah!” He pumps his fists in the air excitedly. “Come on!” And he grabs my hand, dragging me along. That kinda makes me glad Nick had grabbed the bags right before taking off for the interview. Grinning, I follow him past the few buildings, and then we’ve reached the candy shop I knew he would have spotted and wanted to go to.

“This is so cool,” He grins up at me.

I roll my eyes, grinning. “Don’t talk to strangers and come by every few minutes,” I instruct. He nods and runs off excited as all get out. I watch him go, glad that he’s happy, and he’s such a cutie pie.

Wandering around aimlessly, I let my thoughts fly as they might, my eyes looking around as everything is bright and kids are moving about, crying and laughing. Usually, after all, people are completely tempted by these bright sugary sweets. But in all honesty? It doesn’t affect me in the slightest. I… well, I just don’t need them, or want them.

I frown, tugging nervously at my fingers, biting my lip as I glare at some chocolate licorice as though it’s all their fault. But it really isn’t, I guess… Well, anyone would be tempted. Or, anyone normal. I blow out a sigh with big cheeks, running a hand through my hair, frowning. Stupid modeling…

Holding back a groan, I’m instantly recalled of two days ago. Vogue and two other apparently really amazing modeling agencies. All three had called separately, though all while I was with my agent, practicing in the studio. I had adamantly turned them all down, but she believed it would have been great, especially for my career and a learning experience, if I had done a gig or two with each of them.

But… when you spend your life, doing something like that, it’s just…Tiring, sickening. To have to keep an eye on my body so carefully, to watch every bite and have everyone eyeing you always like that? I hate it, and I always will- with a passion. Sure, it’s fun to try on clothes. But you can do that at a mall- with friends, too. A much more enjoyable experience. When I look back to all those photographers eyeing me, all those runways that I’ve done- it’s just… it’s just not what I had ever wanted.

“Cicily?”

I nearly slip, turning around so fast. I bump into the wall partially, but it’s nothing much as I face Joe. “Uh… hi?” I blink. “Oh. Joe,” I smile warmly. “The interview ended? Did it go well?”

“As always, I was very charming,” he gives me a cheeky smile. “And Mr. President love-bunny is looking for you in the gumball section.” I look at him blankly and Joe grins. He starts chattering away how it went as he leads me around and finally we arrive at what is apparently the gumball section.

“Cily,” Nick sees me and starts over.

“Hey, Nick,” and I quickly wrap him in a hug. “I heard it went well.”

“Always does,” he smiles down at me sweetly. “Kevin’s with Frankie, and I think Frankie wants to steal you from me now,” he frowns a little.

“Don’t worry,” I smile cheekily at him. “You still have my heart.”

“Great to know,” Nick kisses my cheek as Joe starts gagging and says something about saving himself by gorging on malt balls, but who knows what he really said. Hopefully something sensible, but we can’t expect too much… “So, having fun in here?” Nick asks, somewhat hopefully. “I’ll buy you something.”

I shake my head. “I’m good. Your lips are sweet enough,” I flirt shamelessly, though I know my cheeks are tingeing pink as always.

“Why thank you,” he pretends to wipe dust off his shoulder then shrugs humbly as I chuckle and wrap my arm around his waist. “But really,” he adds. “Don’t you want anything? The jawbreakers looked pretty sweet,” he offers, trying to tempt me with one of my favorites.

I shrug, “not really. I’m good, Nick.” Then my face sort of falls as he looks at me, somewhat concerned. “Oh, Nick, please…” I unwrap my hand from him. “You can’t…” I lick my lips but I can’t find the words, and I hurriedly start walking out, trying not to make a show or anything.

He- I knew it, in his eyes. He really thought something was wrong. That- that I was purposely not eating or anything, that I was going to just go crazy like my mom did on me. It’s happened a time or two before, but… It just hurts, because… it’s like he doesn’t trust me.