All I Ask of You

"Matthew Charles Sanders!" I pounded my hand on his door with my right hand, as my left jiggled the locked door knob. "Open the mother fucking door!" We came home from shopping ten minutes ago, and I was told Matt was still in his room. Which means he's asleep, or pissed off at himself, and so he feels like shit. Literally.

"Go away, Evie!" Did you ever know, three words could make your heart soar, but crash? "I don't want to talk to anyone." He muttered.

"Not even your best friend?" I said, as I stopped pounding and took my hand away from the door. He doesn't know how much this kills me. "Since when do you not," I sniffled, "want to talk to your best friend?" I asked.

Then the door was whipped open, and arms were wrapped around me, I brought my arms up towards his neck, and wrapped them around it. "I'll always want my best friend." Matt muttered, as the grip he held on me got tighter.

Did he not see how I slightly stopped breathing?

I pulled away and mustered up a grin. "Matt, you need to stop moping, okay?" I cupped his face in my hands, oh that warmth. "It's a fight, and couples always have them." Only Val makes it that much less of a relationship.

He muttered something, but I didn't catch it. "And I know you know how much we hate seeing you like this. How about we go down stairs, play some music, have some drinks?" I said. "Or, as Amber would say, you could set your ass back on that bed and waste moment of your life, when you could be partying." He laughed and shook his head, my hands leaving his face.

"I love you, you know that?" I grinned as I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek.

"That I do, Matt." Only, just not the way I wished it were.

~~~~~~

"Fuck you, you're just that big! Look at me compared to you, I'm Jack and you're the fucking big ass giant!" Amber shouted as she poked Jimmy's chest. "I'm like an ant compared to you, mother fucker!" She glared at Jimmy, as he smirked down at her.

Just then, there was the ring of the door bell, and I rolled my eyes as Matt asked me to get it for him, making me leave the spot on his lap, and the warmth that his arms had on my waist leave me.

I couldn't help but grin and Amber, Sarah, and Jimmy started a quarrel about who's tougher, and who can beat someone in a wrestling match. I made my way towards the door, and when I got to it, the door bell never stopping, I shouted. "Shut the fuck up already, I'm coming!"

I yanked the door open, "You only have to ring once, holy great mother of cheese!" I muttered. But soon, my grin was replaced, as the person before me had blond hair. Now let me set things straight, Val isn't so much of a bad person - if she didn't cheat so regularly on my best friend, the man I secretly loved and always will. She smirked down at me, as she saw my face falter.

"Well, if it isn't the little whore herself. Have you fed Mattie any lies lately?" She said, as she made her way by me. I grabbed her wrist tightly, yanking her back.

"If you step one foot near him, so help me god Valarie!" I warned, "I am not the person you want as a fucking enemy." I growled coldly.

"And neither am I." She said back, trying to yank her small wrist out of my hand, but not succeeding. "Will you let go?" She muttered.

"You've pissed me off, Val. Do you not see what you have on him? You're slowly breaking his heart." The heart that I so heavenly wished I could repair so quickly. "You've got him so whipped, he won't believe you're cheating on him." I growled. "And I don't like it."

"Well, its nice you care for him, really, Evelyn, but he's fine in my hands. So if you could let go, I could make that all go away." She smirked down at me, and I knew pain etched my face. "You could never make him feel so alive, like I do." She said, as she grinned as she did more damage, to my already damaged heart.

"Fuck you!" I harshly whispered, letting her wrist go with a whip. Her smirk faltered for a second, but another smirk was plastered there for a second, as her face changed to a more upsetting.

"Let's see who's better, shall we?" She whispered. "Oh Mattie!" She said, as she hurriedly turned around and ran towards the talking voices. People went silent, and Is wear I heard Sarah say the wicked witch was back.

God, she pisses me off.

I fumed towards the living room towards Amber. "Tell everyone, if they care, that I've gone for a fucking ride." Then, I stomped my way back towards the front door.

I caught sight of Matt and Val talking. He looked towards me with a sad look, but I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door, grabbing his car keys and stepping outside in the rain.

-----

As stupid as it may seem, I don't understand why I had ever fallen so deeply in love with Matt. He's the opposite of my taste. He's got the bad boy image, he's big and brawny. He's dark, but light.

He has a heart of gold, and the personality of a winner. He just brought me in, when others brought me out. He had intrigued me so much.

I think, though, it has to do with wanting someone you can't have. We all want someone, or something, we don't need.

We all want competition, and he's a competition. And he's the prize I want for winning, but I'm loosing at a game I really don't feel like playing because it just breaks you so slowly.

I couldn't help but sing along with Alanis Morissette, head over feet.

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault.

God, how those lyrics could fit me so well, but yet they didn't. Because he doesn't love int he way it's said. And he has won me over, and how much I hated it.

I sped up on the highway.

But I loved it all together. The warmth he gives me, the shock my body feels, the beating of my heart that just flutters like the wings of a butterfly, or a hummingbird. The feeling that just feels so criminal, so illegal, even if it isn't.

Because it feels wrong to love your best friend, but yet it feels so right.