If Today Was Your Last Day

TOM’S POV

I turned off the car engine and just stared up at the large building that was in front of me as I finished off my cigarette. It was now or never.

I stepped out of the car and dropped the cigarette bud onto the ground, stomping on it and looking back up at the building until I decided I had to go and knock on the white door.

The stones crunched beneath my feet as I slowly walked up the driveway, each step taking me closer to what could change my life forever. But if felt right. I had to do this.

Lifting my left fist up in the air, I brought it to the door and knocked three times, taking a step back and sighing deeply.

The door flung open and Ebony stood in front of me. I couldn’t help but look her up and down. She was wearing purple sport shorts and a tank top with sunglasses on, which hugged all of her perfect curves. And as decoration, she was wearing a knuckle duster necklace, which I now remember seeing her wear earlier today, and those Ugg type boots, which, by the way, I can’t stand, but they looked great on Ebony. She looked great. Bar the red eyes. Had she been crying?

“Tom?” I watched her as she wiped at her eye with a tissue that was in her hand.

“Um hi? Can we talk?” she nodded her head and let me into the warm house, leading me into the living room where I saw the TV on, and on the screen was a 17 year old Ebony with a huge bump on her stomach, shopping for what must have been a pushchair. She was watching a home video. That would explain the crying.

“What’s up?” she asked as she sat down on the sofa, patting the space beside her.

“I made my mind up,” I sighed and took my eyes away from my hands and looked into Ebony’s big brown eyes. “I want to be in Megan’s life,” a huge smile spread across Ebony’s face as she threw her arms around her neck, soon pulling away and saying, “So when shall we tell Megan?”

“Mommy. Can I have a glass of wat... Tomi?” Megan was standing in the doorway of the living room, clutching her teddy bear and rubbing her eyes. I turned to face Ebony and smirked, “Now?”

“Hunny, can you come here? We have to talk to you,” Megan walked into the living room and sat on Ebony’s lap, rubbing her left eye. I guess 6.30pm is late for her. “Okay sweetie. This may be a little hard for you to understand at first, but it’s very important, okay?” she nodded her head and looked up at Ebony.

“What is it?”

“Well. You know how you want to find daddy and have a happy family?” I watched as Megan slowly nodded her head, the grip around her teddy bear tightening.

“Well, sweetie. He’s right in front of you,” she looked up at me and flashed a beautiful smile at me.

“Daddy?”

“Hey baby,” wow that sounded weird. To me.

“But hunny. Daddy works in a famous band from Germany, so he has to go around the world a lot and play his guitar for millions of people, so we won’t get to see him much. But he loves you, right Tom?” I hesitated for a few minutes.

“I. Um. I do love you, yes,” another beautiful smile spread across her face.

“I love you too... daddy,” she grinned as she crawled onto my lap. “Does that mean Bill is my uncle?” she asked.

“It does. And he sings in my band,” she giggled.

“My uncle dresses like a girl and sings. How stupid,” we couldn’t help it. Both Ebony and I burst out laughing.

Perfect family moment there.

“I’m going back to bed. Night mom. Night dad,” she gave both of us a kiss on the cheek and left to her bedroom. I’m going to have to get used to his.

“Want to watch the rest of this with me?” Ebony asked, standing up from the sofa and walking into the kitchen. I followed her every step.

“I would, yes. But, I need you in the living room if we’re going to watch it,” I smirked.

“I know. I was in the middle of making a batch of hot chocolate when you arrived. Want some?” I nodded my head and took a seat at the table.

“So when are you leaving for your next tour?” I watched Ebony stir the chocolate mix with the milk.

“3 days time. It’s just a 3 month tour in Germany to say “we’ll be gone for a while seeing as we’re starting on the next album soon,” kinda’ thing,” I shrugged, taking the cup of hot chocolate from Ebony and following her into the living room. “And I’m thinking of taking your out tomorrow night. For a catch up? Megan can spend the night with Bill, if that’s okay?” I added.

“I’d love to,” I leaned against the arm of the sofa with my arm around Ebony as she leaned against my chest, un-pausing the home video.

The scene quickly changed from Ebony, Hannah and who looked to be Hannah’s mom in a baby store to Ebony lying in a hospital bed, her knees propped up, sweat dripping down her face and screams escaping her mouth.

She was giving birth to Megan.

I winced as the screams got louder and occasional words that escaped her mouth.

“I hate you Tom!” came from the TV. I winced at those four words.

“Sorry,” Ebony giggled, placing her empty mug on the floor and curling up beside me, my left arm wrapping around her tiny body tighter.

A tiny wailing took place of the screaming, followed by a “Congratulations! It’s a girl!” from the doctor. I looked down at Ebony to see her smiling at the TV. That must’ve been the best moment of her life... after being asked out by me of course.

The next scene was Ebony sat in the back garden, her arms out in front of her and cooing “come in Megan. Come on,” the next thing my eyes see is a tiny body wrapped up in Ebony’s arms.

Megan’s first steps.

I couldn’t watch this anymore. I was watching everything that I had missed out on. And let me tell you, it hurt.

It hurt to know that I wasn’t there to see the baby scans, the birth, the first step and the first word.

“I have to go,” I whispered, placing my now empty mug beside Ebony’s, kissing her cheek softly and leaving the living room, closing the front door softly behind me.