Trembling With the Strings

Robbie’s bedroom was that of a perfectly straight man. His walls were almost navy blue, but a little lighter. His king-size bed was pushed into the corner, and the comforter matched the wall. His sheets were black. A long window spanned over his bed’s headboard, and its curtains matched his sheets. His plush carpet was a light gray, and he had plenty to do in his room. There was a computer on a small desk in a corner, a TV in another corner, and he also had a SNES.

I sat down on his bed, rocking Kai to sleep in my arms. I could hear Marcus and Johnny laughing down the hall, and I couldn’t help but smile. I missed Darius and Demetrius, but at least I hadn’t lost everything. I didn’t know how long Darius would let me keep my child, but I was not going to give Kai up without a fight.

I sighed, trying to twist the ring on my finger only to find that my finger was bare. I had given Darius his ring back, but it had killed me to do that. I think it had killed him, too.

The front door slammed shut, and Lance’s voice filled the halls. He mentioned the names “Marcus” and “Jonathan,” and then my name. I didn’t care to listen to anymore, and I heard the door across the hall slam shut. It was safe to assume that my brothers were in there, because they weren’t so fond of Lance either.

I jumped in my skin when the door hit the wall. Lance stared at me from the doorway, a strange look on his face. I grimaced when I saw the open beer can in his hand. He laughed.

“I’m not drunk, so calm down.” He glanced down at Kai. “Is that Darius’ kid?” I nodded. “Then why aren’t you with him?” I looked down. “You pushed him away, didn’t you?”

“No, he pushed me away,” I told him, glaring up at him. “I did everything I could, but he’s a terrible man!”

Lance shook his head sadly, as if he pitied me. “Who are you trying to convince?”

“Myself.”

“I thought so. So what exactly happened?”

“Why do you like Darius so much?” I grumbled as he sat down beside me, thankfully keeping his hands to himself.

“I gotta help a brother out. I didn’t get a shot with hitting that, but he did. And he seems to care more than me. I don’t think its fair that you just gave up on the two of you.”

“It’s my life.”

“But you can’t just think about yourself. You have a kid now. And how would he like to grow up without a dad? It’s not fun, let me tell you. I’d give anything to have grown up with my father around. Sure, it wasn’t my mom’s fault that he took off, but still. It hurt.” He glanced over to Kai, this sad look in his eyes. “That poor kid needs his father.”

“Darius didn’t even want him,” I told him, trying to find reason in taking Kai from Dray.

“I bet he wants him now, huh?” I looked down at Kai, not answering him. He knew the answer anyway. “Why did you split? You never answered me.”

“You wouldn’t believe me,” I mumbled, frowning as Kai started wailing. I tried to calm him down, but he refused to stop crying.

“Try me.”

And I did. I told him a shortened version of my story, from the moment I was sold by my parents to the lamp flying through the window. All the while, I had been sizing up his reaction. He managed to keep a poker face the entire time, but by the end he was nodding slowly.

“Either you’re seriously on some strong cocaine, or your telling some fucked-up truth,” he finally told me, watching me carefully.

“I don’t do drugs,” I snapped, rocking my baby gently. He calmed down as his eyes slowly closed. “I’m not that stupid.”

“Or you can’t afford them.” I shot him a look. “Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I’m just... Well, you can understand that I’m a bit skeptical. He doesn’t look very vampire-like.”

“Because he’s half human. I don’t care if you believe me, Lance. I really don’t. I know it’s all true, and that’s all that matters. So spare me, okay?”

“Calm down,” he muttered, glancing over to the open door. “Robbie’s probably wondering where I am, so I’m going to make my last statement. I bet that Darius guy misses you one whole damn lot, and love isn’t always as easy as breathing. If it meant enough to you, you’d be willing to try a little harder to be with him. Demetrius is one smart kid for staying with him. He knows how this will pan out—or at least how it’s supposed to. You are going to speak to him eventually; I just suggest you think about what you really want to say.” He patted my leg before pushing himself onto his feet and leaving me to my thoughts.

“When did you get smart?” I muttered after him. I knew I was going to speak to him eventually, but I had no idea what I was going to say.

I leaned back on the bed and curled up with Kai, falling asleep to the sound of his little heart beating gently. And I dreamed of Dray.