Trembling With the Strings

I held Kai close to me as I stepped into Robbie’s car, which I didn’t know the name of. It seemed normal enough, because he had never been a flashy kind of guy. Kai was sleeping quietly in my arms, and I smiled as he mumbled something in his sleep. Marcus and Johnny had gone with Darius, so it was only Robbie and I, really.

“You two had some fun, didn’t you?” Robbie muttered, making a face at me and grinning right afterwards.

My face blushed bright red. “What do you mean?” Oh, God! I was that loud?

“You’ve got one hell of a hicky, Gracie,” he told me, poking at my neck. He laughed at my embarrassment as I tried to cover it while balancing a baby. “It’s alright. Darius and I talked while you were away.”

“Oh?” I muttered, looking out the window and begging my skin to return to its normal color. “About what?” I stole a glance to him as he started the engine.

“You.”

“Me?” I asked, dropping my hand from my neck and turning to face him completely. “I bet that was a fun topic.”

He nodded, not looking at me. “He loves you almost as much as I do. I swear, there was this…sparkle in his eyes whenever your name was mentioned! He’s hopelessly in love, and I gave him my blessing. And then he asked about me.” I gave him a questioning look. He glanced over, but returned his eyes to the road. “He saw right through me, I tell you. But I lost the battle already.”

“What do you mean?” I whispered, tilting my head slightly.

“Gracie, you’re a beautiful girl, you really are. Even if you don’t think so, plenty of guys have noticed, like Lance and Darius…and me.” I think my jaw dropped. “I told you I’m not gay!”

“I—I had no idea. Robbie, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Lance told me that you always said how you didn’t want to date anyone. Guys don’t like rejection either.” He smiled painfully. “But I can’t compete with Darius. I wish I could hate him, but I can’t. I just… I think you two could be so happy. But the second he screws up again, and for the last time, he knows that I’m not waiting on the sidelines any longer. He knows that.”

I tried to think of something to say, but I just couldn’t. I had thought boys weren’t interested in me, but that was because of Lance? I smiled, reaching out and catching his hand.

“Thank you,” I murmured, kissing his cheek softly.

“For what?”

“I guess I’m not as worthless as I thought.”

He frowned. “You’re far from worthless. Look, you go try things with Darius. I’m right here if it doesn’t work out. I’d be lying if I said I hope he doesn’t mess up, but I want you to be happy. I’ve been friends for this long, so I think I can last longer. Just don’t let Darius do to us what he did to you and Abby.”

“He won’t. I promise.” I glanced out the window and saw the house Darius had bought for us.

“Good,” he murmured, kissing me softly. “That’ll hold me. I’ll be good now. Good luck, babe, okay?”

I nodded, unbuckling myself and stepping out of the car with Kai on my hip. I felt Robbie’s eyes on me as I carefully stepped into the house. I loved Robbie, but I knew that I could never forget how I felt about Dray. Sure, it was nice to have options, but I wasn’t so sure if it mattered at all.

I took in a deep breath, looking around the house as if it was the first time I was seeing it. I hadn’t been there in a month, but it felt so alien to me. The huge house wasn’t nearly as cozy as Robbie’s home, but if I had recalled correctly the house had been perfect when I had been in Dray’s arms. I let out my shaky breath, grabbing the engraved wooden railing and pulling myself up the stairs. Darius could wait, I decided, so I knocked gently on Demetrius’ door.

“Sweetie?” I called softly, gently twisting the knob and slowly pushing the door open. He smiled at me from his bed, shuddering slightly against pain. “How are you holding up, baby?”

“I should say the same to you,” he told me softly, carefully sitting up. I walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge.

“You caused a scene, little boy,” I told him, smiling gently at him.

“I know.” His eyes dropped to my neck, and I quickly covered the purple bruise. He grinned, and I groaned. “I think he did more than just hold you.”

My jaw dropped. “You told him to hug me?” He nodded, giving me a questioning look. “That’s certainly not what he did!”

“Did he not keep it in his pants?”

“Good Lord, boy!” I shrieked, laughing despite myself. “He is corrupting your innocent mind, I swear.”

“Dad loves you,” he murmured quietly, reaching out and grabbing my hand tightly. I opened my mouth but closed it again.

“I know,” I whispered, looking down. “It’s hard, Marty. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just a sixteen-year-old girl. What do I know?”

“You grew up fast, Gracie,” he told me, smiling softly despite the wincing he was doing. “You took care of Marcus, Johnny, and me. And now you have Kai, but this time you can have help. I miss you.”

“I missed you, too.” I leaned over and kissed his forehead gently, pulling him into a light embrace, careful not to hurt him.

“I wanted you to come for a reason.” He held me tightly. “Talk to dad. Please. Mom and dad should be together, not sad and apart.”

I let out a slow breath. “I’ll talk to him, okay? Where is he?”

He grinned. “Your bedroom. He’s probably watching TV with Kai. Watch it with them.”

I smiled, kissing his cheek. “I’ll do that.”