Pretty Bird; B-Sides

They may look expensive, but the chairs in this place creak....and creak and creak and creak. If I turn to the left, an ear splitting screech fills the room. If I turn to the right, the chair gives another repeat performance. This really only bothers me so much because I can't fidget. I can't be nervous. I have to keep all of it inside. I close my eyes for a second, and let my head fall forwards, knowing that when I open my eyes again, I won't be staring up at the bland white ceiling. I feel my hands clasped together tight in my lap, as if my body is trying to force all the nervous energy inside me from bursting out and escaping. I have to stay cool, and calm. I have to keep my head on straight.

I can hear her talking, her voice amplified in the wood paneled room, her seat high and elevated so she can look down on me, and my 'hired help' to the right of me. Oliver got her name for me, a recommendation from his lawyer for Drop Dead's copyrighting shit. It would probably do me best to open my eyes, face the judge with my eyes open and my body language alert and receptive. Instead, I'm slouching down in this ancient creaking chair, trying my best to just get this all over and done with. I know I have this case in the bag, I just wish Caroline knew it too.

Pride can be a really sick thing, though. I guess I can't blame her.

"My client, Mr. Sykes, wishes to begin testimony in this case." Her words finally begin to compute and make sense in my head, my eyes shooting open and making contact with the judge. The judge, that lady sitting high up on the elevated seat, stares back down at me too, eyeing me conspicuously. I turn to my lawyer, who is looking down at me also. She's the epitome of the Oxford graduate; pretty, young, but a real cold hard bitch. At least she's on my side, and not Caroline's.

"You may proceed, Counsel." The judge speaks, narrowing her eyes at me and then looking over at Caroline. "I call to session, Case 1407-A, The Custody Hearing of Sykes vs. Langley." She banged her gavel once, the loud hammering noise echoing in the court room, before she began again. "Ms. Somers, you may proceed on behalf of your client."

"Right..." My lawyer whispers under her breath. I know I'm the only one who can hear her; her chair creaks loudly too as she stands up. "Judge, although my client was never married to Caroline Langley, Ms. Langley became pregnant in July of last year, 4 months into the relationship with my client, Thomas Sykes."

"Is this true, Mr. Sykes?" The judge interjects, staring down at me all over again. The whole 'elevating the judge's seat thing' is a really effective intimidation effect.

"Yes, it is." I nod slowly, keeping my eyes straight forward even though I can physically feel Caroline's stare burning holes into the side of my face.

"Ms. Langley and Mr. Sykes's relationship was never stable, according to testimony from my client, and from my witnesses."

My brain all of a sudden begins to flood with memories...memories I tried my hardest to just live down. I turn around in my chair to see everyone there sitting in the back rows, giving me their best supportive smiles. There's Oli and Christian, and Matt, and my Mum and Dad, of course. I smile back, before turning around. It feels like yesterday, all the days I spent trying my damn best not to cry at Oli and Christian's. I can also easily remember my Mum yelling at me for weeks straight, telling me how disappointed she was.

She must had been talking the entire time I was spacing out, seeing as though her voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"I'd like to call Christian Sykes to the stand." My lawyer, Ms. Somers announces, turning to look behind her at my brother's wife. Christian squeezes Oli's hand before getting up from her seat and walking down the aisle, past my table and at the witness' stand, right next to the judge. "State your name and relation to the case for the court, please." Ms. Somers says matter of factly, once Christian is seated.

"My name is Christian Sykes, I am the wife of Oliver Sykes, Thomas' brother. I was present in Tom's life before and after the months Tom spent in a relationship with Caroline Langley."

"Mrs. Sykes, can you please describe to me Thomas Sykes' personality before Caroline became pregnant?"

"Well, he's always been very mellow, and patient. He's probably the nicest person I've ever met, and that didn't change when he was with Caroline. The one flaw he may have is that he can be too giving, which sometimes can put him in really bad positions. He can also be a little oblivious at times, but it's never been something debilitating."

"Objection!" I hear Caroline's lawyer, some man in a pinstripe suit, yell as he shoots up from his chair. His seat creaks too, obviously not too pleased with the lawyer's swift actions. "Judge, how is this relevant?"

"Judge, I am establishing a behavior pattern for my client." My lawyer responds, glaring at Caroline's lawyer.

"Over ruled." The judge announces, turning to look at Christian. "Mrs. Sykes, you may continue."

"Alright, Mrs. Sykes," Ms. Somers begins, clearing her throat. "Can you please tell the court your first impressions of Caroline Langley?"

"Honestly, I never liked her. Compared to Tom, she always took advantage of him. She seems to have a way of making it all about Caroline, all the time. And when you're in such an environment as the one she was in during the summer in which she got pregnant, that really isn't the way things work."

"And what environment is that?"

"My husband and his friends are in a touring band. That Summer, Caroline and I accompanied the boys across Europe, since they were all playing at many of the Summer festivals."

"No further questions." My lawyer nods at the judge, before sitting back down next to me, her hands folding into her lap.

"Mrs. Sykes," Caroline's lawyer now stands up, smoothing out his suit. "Did you say that your husband is in a traveling band?"

"That's right." Christian nods gently, brushing her fringe out of her eyes as she looked at Oli.

"Is there a lot of drinking when the band goes on tour?"

"As much as any other band, sir." Christian responds, her voice not missing a beat.

"And illegal substances?"

Christian shrugs, looking down into her lap. I can tell she was cracking her fingers.

"Answer the question, Mrs. Sykes."

"Yes." She whispers barely audibly, her eyes downcast.

"Is Thomas Sykes in your husband's band?"

"No, he is not." She looks back up at me, her eyes conveying to me an apology. I just nod back at her, letting her know it was alright. The truth is the truth.

"So, are you saying that Thomas Sykes voluntarily chooses to surround himself with drugs and alcohol for months at a time, when he could be having a job or a stable source of income for his child?"

"I didn't say that at all! Tom's a great father." Her voice rises, her facial expression showing her obvious anger.

"Did he know that his girlfriend was pregnant before the tour was over, Mrs. Sykes?" The lawyer asks another question, some kind of sick smile appearing on his face as he grills Christian, going in for the kill.

"I don't know. You'd have to ask him."

"Fair enough." He shrugs, but the smile is still on his face. "Do you have any children with your husband?"

"Uh...no." She tilts her head to the side, her hair spilling down from over her shoulders.

"Well, if you were a parent, do you think it would be wise to let your spouse be around continuous alcohol and drugs during the pregnancy?"

"Well, Mr. Lawyer, I am a married woman. If I get pregnant, I have much more control over what my husband does, because he is my husband. If he was just my boyfriend, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell him what to do. Especially if I was 18 years old and probably scared out of my mind."

The lawyer rolls his eyes, turning away slightly so that the judge doesn't see his actions. "No further questions, your honor."

"You are excused, Mrs. Sykes." The judge smiles at Christian, who smiles back as she gets up, and walks back through the court room to her seat her to Oliver.

I turn, finally looking at Caroline for the first time since court was in session. She's staring blankly at something written in her notebook, resting on the table in front of her. Her long hair is blocking her face from my view, but I can tell by her body language that she's absolutely seething mad. The look on her face brings me back to a time just a few months ago, before all of the legal drama...


"Caroline..." I called out into the house, my voice resonating through the wide open space of the foyer. I looked up the stairs to see no one, and heard no sounds of feet on the tile on the first floor. I sighed, setting my keys down on the bar and slipping my shoes off. I was worried; it was weird to have a silent house when you have a baby. Then, I heard noises, finally.

"Downstairs!" She called, sounding mildly annoyed. I walked down the hall to the basement stairs, opening the door. Once the door was opened, the sounds of my family filled my ears. My baby was cooing and giggling, and Caroline was silent, but her footsteps were loud against the concrete floors. I proceeded to bound down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"Hello, love." I wrapped my arms around Caroline from behind, resting my head on her shoulder so we both looked down at our daughter, who Caroline was dressing. "Hello, Lily!" I smiled down at my baby, as she stared back up at me with big curious eyes.

"She just finished lunch." Caroline said, fitting Lily's onesie on properly, snapping the snaps on the light pink thick fabric. "So she's in a good mood."

"Well, who isn't in a good mood after eating?" I smiled wide, still looking down at Lily as she smiled up at me, her eyes bright and happy. Her mouth was slightly open, her lips bright cherry red.

Caroline didn't respond, just wiggled out of my loose grip around her waist and walked across the room, over to Lily's dresser, completely full of more clothes than I think I've ever owned in my life. I took a step closer to the changing table, my hands gently picking up Lily. I looked so big compared to her, her head fitting easily in my hand as I brought her up to my chest, her head resting sideways against my shoulder. She cooed softly, her tiny body resting comfortably against mine. I heard the drawers of Lily's dresser open and close from behind me, Caroline obviously looking for something. I turned around to face her, only to find Caroline's back to me as well as she bent over, looking through a drawer.

"I have an idea." I said, breaking the silence. "Want to take the baby to the park? You both have been stuck inside all day."

"Ehh....I don't know. She was upset all day. She needs a nap." Caroline said, still focused on the clothes.

"Don't you want to go out either?" I asked, watching her as Lily cooed and made soft breathing noises in my ear.

"No. I don't." She snapped, turning from the dresser and looking back at me. "Is that alright with you?"

I just stared blankly, before rolling my eyes and turning to leave the room. Caroline's voice filled the air before I was about to retreat, though.

"You can be such a dick sometimes, Tom." She yelled, Lily's happy coos quickly stopping.

"I didn't do anything! I asked if you wanted to go out with me! You know, be a family! Do family things!" I turned to face her, her eyes slanted into angry squints as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You just want to spend time with Lily. You don't want to go and be with me." She huffed, still glaring at me from across the room.

"I've been at work all day! I want to spend time with both of you!" I tried my best to keep from yelling, Lily's breathing becoming more and more rapid as the tension in the room began to quickly build up.

"Don't lie." She spat, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm not lying!" I let my voice raise in exasperation, my eyes rolling. "Look, I don't know what you want from me."

"Spend time with me and not Lily!" She stamped her foot on the concrete floor, the sound of the bottom of her trainer meeting the concrete creating a loud noise that bounced around the room.

"She's my kid!" I exclaimed, my temper finally flaring and Caroline finally getting to me. She smiled wide as soon as the words escaped my mouth, making me feel extremely uneasy.

"Don't yell in front of the baby, Thomas. It's bad for her ears, you know." She kept that smile on her face.

"Ugh," I sighed, turning to the stairs, climbing them as gently as possible, as not to disturb Lily too much. "You're fucking ridiculous. I'm so sick of this shit. I mean, I break up with you, and instead of you getting the fucking message, you just continue to be the same old bitch you always are when I try and come back to make it work! I just want what's best for the baby! And you can't change!"

I was almost to the top step when I heard Caroline's feet run up the stairs after me. "Hold on!" She screamed as I opened the basement door, our fight now spilling out into the hall. "Where are you going!?"

"Away from you." I said curtly, the venom easily detected in my voice.

"You can't take the baby." Caroline said, the smirk evident in her words even though I couldn't see her face. Her footsteps stopped once we were both in the hall, Lily still resting against my shoulder as I grabbed my car keys from the bar. I stopped, looking down at my daughter, who's blue eyes were staring up at me. I sighed, turning to look back at Caroline. Just as I had suspected, she had that smirk on her face, even though the rest of her facial expression showed nothing but extreme anger.

"I'm gonna take her from you." I whispered, my voice coarse and angry over my vocal chords as I gently held Lily in my arms, handing her over to Caroline, who was still smiling. "And you'll never see her again, you fucking crazy bitch."

"We'll see how it goes in court, you fucking bastard." Caroline retorted, still smiling even though I'd be dead, if eyes could kill. "We'll see, Baby Sykes."