I Never Liked You Even When I Tried To

“So Cianna, Nick Jonas has recently said some pretty nasty things about you. How did you react to that?” Ellen asked me as I sat comfortably in a grey armchair.

“There was no need to react. Things like this happen in the industry and you’ve got to ignore it and just move on with your life. You can’t be friends with everyone.” I replied coolly.

“But you do seem to be friends with everyone.” she laughed. “And how’s Megan?”

“She’s great, working on another mov-.”

I was interrupted by my phone blaring Hey Mama by the Black Eyed Peas.

Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast' up the jamma
(hey)so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(la la la la la)

I blushed and snatched my brand new silver Nokia E71 out of my blazer pocket.

The name ‘I’m more awesome than you’ flashed across the clean screen.

Frowning, I pressed the red reject button and slipped the device back into my blazer.

“Sorry peeps.” I chuckled.

The audience broke out in giggles as Ellen began to dance on her plush chair.

“Hey mama! Hey mama! Get on the floor!” she sang at the top of her lungs.

The DJ played the song and the two of us danced up and down the rows of people.

That brought our interview to a close and I performed my hit ‘Ready To Fly’.

I open my eyes the world seems a different place,
The colours are brighter and the air is sweet to taste.
see it's like I woke up from a nightmare that tied me down,
I smothered and trapped inside a sleep way underground

Its time I learned to fall,
To say the word goodbye.
To feel the sunlight on my face,
Maybe that means...

I'm ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I'm ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Maybe I'm, maybe I'm, I'm ready to fly.

Where is your faith, where is your love for me?
Why do you fight the things I imagine in my dreams?
See the poison is strong; an addiction is tough to break.
But love is the hardest thing I have ever had to shake.

Its time to break these chains,
To look you in the eye,
To tell you that its over now,
Maybe that means...

I'm ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I'm ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Maybe I'm, maybe I'm I'm ready to fly.

(Give me the strength to walk away)
(Give me the strength to stay the road ahead)
Even if it's a lonely place.
(Give me the hope to mend this heart)
(Give me the chance to see love smile, smile again)
To see love smile.

Its time I learned to fall,
To say the word goodbye.
To feel the sunlight on my face,
Maybe that means...

I'm ready to fly,
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am,
Let go of fear wanna feel alive.
I'm ready to fly,
The more that you hold me back you set me free,
You help my heart decide..
Maybe I'm, maybe I'm I'm ready to fly.

[& & &]

My bodyguard Pow (his real name was Talcum so we called him Powder, Po or Pow) lead me out to the studio through hoards of screaming fans.

I love all my fans and I’m so grateful for their support, by, man, the noise they can create can really do your head in.

I signed a few autographs, and then climbed into the black shiny SUV.

Charlotte sat in the front seat, her quick and nimble fingers gliding across the keypad as she read off events I needed to attend.

My Sister’s Keeper premiere, finale of America’s Next Top Model, you name it.

But I was too busy investigating my call log to even listen.

‘I’m more awesome than you’ was there as clear as day.

Who was this person?

And how did they set their name in there?

It was a new phone, wrapped in its box.

Unless…

“Char, this phone was new right?” I questioned, flipping the cell over in my hands.

“Yeah of course.” she smiled.

“Okay.” I nodded.

Something was definitely not right.

[& & &]

After the People interview/ photo shoot, I made my way to my stylist’s house to prepare for the Grammy’s.

“Sweetie is something on your mind?” Fiona asked, gently shampooing my hair with Tigi Bed Head Superstar shampoo.

“No.” I sighed, biting my nails.

“Uh uh uh!” Fi scolded. “Don’t bite them! Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“This guy in the music industry told Jimmy Kimmel that I didn’t deserve to be where I am. It didn’t really affect me at first but I’m starting to think he’s right.”

“Sweetie, don’t be stupid. Don’t listen to him.” Fi smiled meekly.

My hair was curled, and then pinned up into a soft bun with a few tendrils falling around my face.

My makeup was fun and flirty with bright red lipstick, silver eyeliner, natural looking false lashes and plenty of mascara.

Fiona helped me slip into my strapless floor-length purple gown. My feet were enclosed in silvery glittery pumps that made me a lot taller.

The front door of Fi’s home opened and Meg let herself in. Fiona didn’t mind since my sister was there all the time.

“Ready to rock?” Megan smirked, winking.

“Am I ever?!”

I laughed even though I had never been so scared in my whole entire life since it was my first Grammy’s.

Fi handed me my accessories with a kiss on the cheek for good luck.

Megan hugged me tightly, before leading me out to the limo. I checked my phone; 8:15. The arrivals started at half past the hour.

Meg gripped my hand tightly as the car rolled up outside the venue. Flashes from paparazzo' cameras were everywhere, desperate to capture a photo of each celebrity in an embarrassing situation.

The chauffeur Lenny opened the door and I stepped out incredibly slowly, cautious not to trip.

Breathing a sigh of relief as I stood up, I linked arms with Megan and we made our way down the red carpet.

“Hand on hip and smile.” my sibling advised.

***
Her dimples showed as she smiled making my heart flutter. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled as the camera flashes reflected from them.

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” I said quietly to my brother Kevin.

“Please, she’s ugly as hell.” Nick scoffed.

“I wasn’t asking you.” I snapped.

“She is pretty, but not as beautiful as Danielle.” Kevin smiled, giving his fiancée a peck on the lips.

“Euggh.” Nick gagged.

He was only bitter because his slut of a girlfriend Sarah had broken up with him via Twitter.

“Stop it Nicholas.” Kevin scolded.

I turned back to look at Cianna and bam…double whammy, her sister Megan Fox was right there by her side.

I honestly think I died and went to the land of beautiful women.

And then I went all fan girl, or fan boy in this case, and squealed. It must have been pretty loud because Cianna looked over and giggled.

She whispered something to Megan and the two women made their way over.

“Oh my God. Do I have anything in my teeth? Fresh breath?”

Cianna smiled at us, but seemed to take a shining to Nick.

Megan introduced herself and we got talking.

I’m the luckiest guy in the whole wide world.

***

“Hey I’m Cianna.” I smiled, planning to put all he’d said behind me.

Not much chance of that.

“Yes? Point being?” Nick snapped in an egotistical tone.

“Look, I’m just trying to be friendly. I’ve never done anything to you.”

“Yeah you have. You got to number one on the charts when somebody who actually deserved it could’ve been in that position instead! The only reason you’re famous is because of your sister!”

“No way!” I argued. “That’s not true! I worked hard to get into this industry! Ask anyone that!”

“Whatever. Just enjoy your success while it lasts.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!?” I snapped.

“You’ll see. You’ll end up like Jamie Lynn Spears; pregnant and with a career over.”

“Are you telling me you’re going to be a father?” I replied wittily.

Nick’s eyes widened and he took a step back.

“You do know what needs to happen to make a baby? Well I wouldn’t be stupid enough to do it with someone as hideous as you, bitch.”

That was like a slap in the face. Maybe I really was hideous; that would explain the fact I’d been single my whole life.

As he made his way up the red carpet I struggled to hold back the tears.

I could always tolerate nasty comments from gossipers but when it was straight from a celebrity’s mouth and not twisted by the media, it hurt.

Really hurt.

[& & &]

“Please welcome Cianna Fox singing her song Don’t Miss You!”

Shaking off my nerves, I strutted across the stage in my heels.

I clicked my fingers three times and my band started to play.

I'll send a postcard from every stop,
Straight to you just to piss you off
And I hope that you see a whole lotta me
In every magazine on radio and TV

Uh oh
I used to be kind, and care about you,
But now you can kiss my behind
After everything you did to me,
I didn't know revenge could taste so sweet

New York, Paris, LA
Livin outrageous, next stop Vegas
London to Malibu
Wish that I could say I miss you

No no no don't don't miss you
No no no I really dont' miss you
No no no don't don't miss you
No no no!

You think that I'm cold when I call you a creep,
But all your other names would only get bleeped
No I'll never go back to what we used to be
Cause what we used to be was just a prison for me

Uh Oh
I used to be kind and care about you,
But now you can kiss my behind
After everything you did to me
Who woulda thought revenge could taste so sweet?

New York, Paris, LA
Livin outrageous, next stop Vegas
London to Malibu
Wish that I could say I miss you

No no no don't don't miss you
No no no I really dont' miss you
No no no don't don't miss you
No no no!

London Bridge falling down,
Moulin Rouge and Eiffel Tower
Broadway got my tattoo
It's got nothing to do with you
Lost in Tokyo, trashed in Mexico
Caught dancing in the nude
Wish I could say I miss you!

New York, Paris, LA
Livin outrageous, next stop Vegas
London to Malibu
Wish that I could say I miss you

No no no don't don't miss you
No no no I really dont' miss you
No no no don't don't miss you
No no no!

New York, Paris, LA
Livin outrageous, next stop Vegas
London to Malibu
Wish that I could say I miss you

No no no don't don't miss you
No no no I really dont' miss you
No no no don't don't miss you
No no no!

Halfway through the performance I spotted Joe Jonas stand up and dance. Then Megan joined him.

Typical. She was the first girl to start flirting with a hot guy.

Nick was staring at his phone as I sang.

The music faded away as I blew kisses to the crowd. Joe pretended to catch one and slapped it to Megan’s cheek.

He shouldn’t have because Meg jumped at him and kissed him full on the mouth.

I laughed and bounded offstage, proud at the volume of applaud.

I took my seat next to Taylor Swift and we both watched as Megan and Joe had an intense make out session.

Taylor sighed and rested her head in her hands.

“I miss him.” I heard her mumble.

“Let him know you miss him.” I smiled simply.

“I don’t think he loves me anymore.” Tay sniffed.

“You don’t know that.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“Just give it a shot. What have you got to lose?”

“I guess you’re right.” Taylor laughed, hugging me tightly. “You give the best advice. You must have the perfect relationships.”

I managed a weak smile. “Yeah…relationships…I haven’t exactly had one.”

Taylor face dropped, and she gave me another hug, shielding the way Nick’s head shot up as he smirked evilly.

***

Ha! So she’s never had a boyfriend. I have the perfect plan for this bitch.