Status: Reinventing Itself.
Take Me Dancing.
the devil he can't come in
“I’m a little disappointed in you.”
She was sitting across from me, a pair of glasses perched atop the bridge of her nose and a book sitting in her lap. She always had a book in her presence; I had become accustomed to having to repeat myself numerous times due to the lack of attention she paid to the real world. She always claimed that she liked reading because it took her to a new place every time; every book was a new adventure, a new perspective. “The real world gets boring,” she would always say and I would always ask, “Well what about me? Do I bore you?” but she would just wink and go back to whatever book had captured her heart at the time. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun atop her head and her bright green eyes were busy darting across the pages in front of her. She looked so alive, but I knew she wasn’t.
“Garrett are you listening to me?”
When I opened my eyes all I felt was sadness, but underneath the sadness was anger, too. I was angry at myself for giving in to the illusions I had been trying to suppress for days. Of course she hadn’t been sitting there, but I had wanted so badly for her to be. Rather, the lanky body of a grown man sat in her place, his body leaning forward to poke a prodding finger into my naked chest from where I lay on the couch. Had I been sleeping? I couldn’t have been, sleep was not a word in my vocabulary as of late. I rested, closed my eyes for hours at a time, but I never truly slept. Not since the last time she had been beside me.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself man,” Eric said to me, a defeated sigh leaving his lips as he sat back in the chair, his hands falling to his lap and playing with the loose shreds hanging from a holes in his jeans. What exactly have I been doing to myself? Being alone was not a crime. “Even John has come out of his house the past two days. You though, well you’re just being selfish.”
Anger surged up within me, lighting like a spark and spreading throughout my whole body like wildfire. I sat up, not even glancing at him as I walked to the kitchen, distancing myself from my friend before I decided to let my fist make contact with his face against my better judgment. He followed me as I grabbed a cup from the cabinet, letting the tap run before pouring myself a glass of cold water and chugging it in an attempt to put out the fire he had lit inside me.
I turned to him then, a glare on my face even though the anger had nearly left, replaced instead with a sadness that lingered within me no matter what I tried to do to make it go away. He could see it, could see how hurt I was, but we both knew he wouldn’t apologize. I didn’t blame him though. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I settled for changing the subject instead.
“How did you even get into my apartment?” I asked. Even my girlfriend hadn’t been issued a key upon my moving in two years ago. A small smile crept across Eric’s face as he crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall. He shook his head, his hair falling in his eyes a bit as he muttered,
“Just because Keegan was your best friend doesn’t mean she kept all of your secrets.”
I knew he was referring to the fact that I kept a spare key hidden under the fire extinguisher in its glass case three hallways down, but I couldn’t help to feel that there was an underlying meaning to his words as well. I cleared my throat, sitting back against the edge of the counter and examining Eric. He wouldn’t meet my eyes and nervousness began to bubble in my stomach as I wondered why. There was no way he could know.
“I didn’t realize you guys were ever that close,” I said, searching his face for any sign, any indication that he knew what I thought he did, but nothing came, even as he met my eyes with a steely glance and said,
“She was my cousin Garrett; we were closer than you think.”
Even as I let out an awkward laugh to try and ease the tension I couldn’t help but think I didn’t like the way his words implied something. Keegan may not have kept all of my secrets, but this one was hers too.
And I was hoping she took it with her to the grave.
She was sitting across from me, a pair of glasses perched atop the bridge of her nose and a book sitting in her lap. She always had a book in her presence; I had become accustomed to having to repeat myself numerous times due to the lack of attention she paid to the real world. She always claimed that she liked reading because it took her to a new place every time; every book was a new adventure, a new perspective. “The real world gets boring,” she would always say and I would always ask, “Well what about me? Do I bore you?” but she would just wink and go back to whatever book had captured her heart at the time. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun atop her head and her bright green eyes were busy darting across the pages in front of her. She looked so alive, but I knew she wasn’t.
“Garrett are you listening to me?”
When I opened my eyes all I felt was sadness, but underneath the sadness was anger, too. I was angry at myself for giving in to the illusions I had been trying to suppress for days. Of course she hadn’t been sitting there, but I had wanted so badly for her to be. Rather, the lanky body of a grown man sat in her place, his body leaning forward to poke a prodding finger into my naked chest from where I lay on the couch. Had I been sleeping? I couldn’t have been, sleep was not a word in my vocabulary as of late. I rested, closed my eyes for hours at a time, but I never truly slept. Not since the last time she had been beside me.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself man,” Eric said to me, a defeated sigh leaving his lips as he sat back in the chair, his hands falling to his lap and playing with the loose shreds hanging from a holes in his jeans. What exactly have I been doing to myself? Being alone was not a crime. “Even John has come out of his house the past two days. You though, well you’re just being selfish.”
Anger surged up within me, lighting like a spark and spreading throughout my whole body like wildfire. I sat up, not even glancing at him as I walked to the kitchen, distancing myself from my friend before I decided to let my fist make contact with his face against my better judgment. He followed me as I grabbed a cup from the cabinet, letting the tap run before pouring myself a glass of cold water and chugging it in an attempt to put out the fire he had lit inside me.
I turned to him then, a glare on my face even though the anger had nearly left, replaced instead with a sadness that lingered within me no matter what I tried to do to make it go away. He could see it, could see how hurt I was, but we both knew he wouldn’t apologize. I didn’t blame him though. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I settled for changing the subject instead.
“How did you even get into my apartment?” I asked. Even my girlfriend hadn’t been issued a key upon my moving in two years ago. A small smile crept across Eric’s face as he crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall. He shook his head, his hair falling in his eyes a bit as he muttered,
“Just because Keegan was your best friend doesn’t mean she kept all of your secrets.”
I knew he was referring to the fact that I kept a spare key hidden under the fire extinguisher in its glass case three hallways down, but I couldn’t help to feel that there was an underlying meaning to his words as well. I cleared my throat, sitting back against the edge of the counter and examining Eric. He wouldn’t meet my eyes and nervousness began to bubble in my stomach as I wondered why. There was no way he could know.
“I didn’t realize you guys were ever that close,” I said, searching his face for any sign, any indication that he knew what I thought he did, but nothing came, even as he met my eyes with a steely glance and said,
“She was my cousin Garrett; we were closer than you think.”
Even as I let out an awkward laugh to try and ease the tension I couldn’t help but think I didn’t like the way his words implied something. Keegan may not have kept all of my secrets, but this one was hers too.
And I was hoping she took it with her to the grave.
♠ ♠ ♠
In honor of Halvo's birthday today I decided to finally update! This is extremely short, I know, as well as long overdue, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Any ideas on what's going on? Let me know! (:Please comment and subscribe.