Let Me Be the One to Call You Baby

° FF 102 Days ° Wednesday °

“He’s so beautiful,” I coo as the baby is handed to me.

Val had given birth to a healthy 6.9 lb bouncing baby boy on May 6th 2009 at 8:36 in the morning. He was 2 weeks premature but healthy as a horse. Val went through a painful 15 hour labor. Poor woman. Thank God I’m getting a C-section for my girls.

“Here Zack,” I smile turning to my husband. “You hold Axel.”

He smiles and gently takes baby Charles Axel Sanders in his muscular tattooed arms. I simile as I fondly watch my husband and his new nephew. He’s very comfortable around babies due to his older sister being a mother of two. We’ve babysat… oh boy. I can’t wait for my two little devils.

I catch Zacky’s gaze and I know he’s thinking the same thing.

° FF 23 Days ° Friday °

]|[ Zacky ]|[

“Get this babies out of me!” I hear my wife scream.

I wince. The only reason I was out in the hall and not with her is because she commanded me to be out there and wait for Johnny. You do not argue with a woman in labor. The C-section procedure won’t be started till Alice gives the go. And the go happened once Johnny’s here and he and I are in scrubs.

“Where is she?! Alice! Zack!” I heard Johnny’s voice yell from down the hall.

I rush over to his voice and turn the corner. He spots me and rushes over, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.

“Whoa! Whoa! Calm down man!” I tell him, jumping from his hold. “She’s fine, she’s waiting for you.”

“Oh thank god!” Johnny exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Hey guys,” I nodded with a smile at my sleepy best friends.

They all looked dead.

“Hey,” they all waved and nodded. “Girls are parking the car,” Jimmy adds.

“Val’s at home with Axel,” Matt explains, meaning she won’t be making it.

I nod. “We understand.”

“Zacky! Damn it!” we all hear Alice’s yell.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard her curse,” Brian commented.

I grab Johnny’s arm. “Come on.” I look back at the guys. “Keep every one calm.” I pause. “Mostly my mom.”

They nod in agreement as Johnny and I make our way past the double doors to my screaming wife. Of course Johnny wasn’t going to be there when Alice was cut open but she wanted to see him before hand.

This is it.

° * FAST FORWARD * °

“This is it, Alice!” Our doctor said. “You’re gonna feel a slight prick. Now… take a deep breath at the count of three. One… two… three.”

I also took a deep breath as the doctor made the cut. There was a sheet held up so Alice could see a thing and I didn’t look over. I knew it wouldn’t be a nice sight to see my wife cut open. Even if it was to bring our babies into the world.

“Baby number one is out!” and only seconds later. “Baby number two is out.”

“Both girls look to be fine,” the nurse friend of Alice’s commented.

“You hear that baby?” I grin kissing my wife sweaty forehead. “They’re out and fine.”

She looks up at me a little dazed. “Angel Rose Baker.”

“What?” I asked, that wasn’t one of the names we talked about, we decided she’d name one and I’d name the other. It wasn’t the name she choose 2 months ago.

“Angel… Rose…” she said tiredly. “The first baby… Angel.”

“Ok baby,” I smile. “It’s a beautiful name.”

She gazes up at me. And her eyes scare me a little. “I love you Zackary,” she whispers.

“I love you too Alice,” I smile but then frown as her eyes start to flutter and her head rolls a little. “Alice?” I ask my heart pumping painfully. “Alice? Doctor!” I shout.

Just at that moment a male nurse curses. And right after that?

BBEEEEEEEE…

No. No. No.

All my 5 senses seem to shut down. My vision goes blurry, my ears block out all noise but the never ending beep, my mouth goes dry, my skin prickles, and I don’t feel the people grab at my arms to move me out of the room till it’s too late. I finally snap out of it once I realize all I’m staring at was a door. I fell the air rush around me as my body begins to fall…

Total blackness.

° * FAST FORWARD * °

]|[ No One ]|[

No one could believe it. Johnny most of all. His sister was dead. He swore she’d keep her safe. He promised her that he’d constantly watch over her. He’d give his life for hers. Now she was gone. Just like that. Only an hour before she had yelled at him to get his nieces out of her. He just smiled kissed her forehead then tummy and told his sister the last five words she’d ever hear from him.

‘I love you little sister.’

His sister was dead. His brother-in-law was still pasted out, having hit his head pretty badly when he fainted. His parents and Zack’s were in tears. As was the rest of the band and girls, and Alice’s BFFs.

Alice is- was such a great person. Loving, caring, smart, talented, beautiful, and would have made a fantastic mother. His poor nieces. They’d only have pictures and the very few videos of her. They’re so beautiful.

‘Zack and I,’ Johnny thought, ‘are going to have trouble keeping the boys away from those beauties when they grow up.’

He just stood there in front of the clear glass window, looking at his sleeping little nieces, he didn’t even know their names, Alice and Zack kept their choices secret from all, but he loved them already.

His poor beautiful nieces.

* * Elsewhere * *

He just lay there. Looking up at the plain white ceiling. The doctor had come and gone 20 minutes ago. Zack and Alice knew all the risks. One: increased blood loss. Blood loss on the average is about twice as much with cesarean birth as with vaginal birth. However, blood transfusions are rarely needed during a cesarean. She seemed to have made it to the clear. What no one notice was she hemorrhaged under the sheet. Since all focus was on the belly and not any lower. It was a 1 in 3,000 chance of a woman hemorrhaging during a C-section.

But it had to be his wife. Why did if have to be his wife? She was like God’s gift to everyone, to him. Why did God take her from him? From their newborn twins?

Angel Rose Baker

&

Natasha Alice Baker

Not the names he and his wife decided. But if… but if she could change her mind. So could he.

Zack hadn’t gotten the nerve to see his babies yet. He bet his bottom dollar that they’d look just like his… deceased wife. How utterly curl but beautiful would that be?

° FF 3 Days ° ° ° Monday °

]|[ Zacky ]|[

I just stood there, watching my wife’s casket being lowered down into the cold ground. In my arms I held Natasha. Johnny beside me held Angel. I gaze down into my youngest ones eyes. Bright green like mine. My face completely. Angel… was her mother’s daughter. So much… it’s hurts some times to look at her too long. That’s horrible and makes me feel horrible.

‘Why Alice?’ I ask silently.‘How am I going to raise these two baby girls all by myself?’

Natasha starts to fuss in my arms and my dad reaches over, taking his third grandbaby in his arms. I smile weakly at him, completely fake. Looking back at the grave I swallow my tears. I couldn’t cry. I had to remember the happy times with my wife.

- ° Flashback ° -

I headed over to the noise. I stood in silence but awe as the woman’s fingers brought the music to life. Her head was bowed, short dark hair falling in front of her face making it impossible to see. She was petite, wore tight light colored jeans with a black tee and checkered hot pink Vans.

Her small slender fingers moved with grace but yet quickly to the cords making it finally come to an end. And then she lifted her head. Beautiful. Stunning deep but light brown eyes and a pretty pink mouth that was asking to be kissed. Nice shape in face and a minuor piecing that added to her cuteness.

But then her cheeks heated with color and I snapped out of my daze to see she had snapped out of hers and had noticed me there.

“Uh you’re um very good,” I managed to get out.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

Gosh damn… fireworks go off. We pull our lips apart and rest our foreheads together. More fireworks. Turning our heads a little to our right… there really are fireworks being lit at the fair. Smiling I move so I’m gazing into her eyes.

“What have you done to me?” I whisper silently to her.

Her eyes turn confused at my question but before she can ask about it, I kiss her again. And she kisses back.

‘What have you done to me?’ I think as our innocent kiss turns to an open mouth kiss. Not French with tongue just opened mouth. ‘She’s mine.’ I think with a surge of protective and possessiveness. ‘No one else’s. Fuck her older brother. She’s mine.’

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

God he wanted more. The luscious flesh of her bottom lip seduced him as he sucked it into his mouth. Arching into him with a breathy sigh, she traced the outline of his upper lip with the tip of her tongue. Down over the seam of his mouth where her lip was captured, the wetness of her tongue, the tentative and yet utterly carnal way she responded, drew him in.

It’d never been like this with a woman before. Intense, sure. Really good, that too. But so good, so right that it made his chest ache with want and It took every bit of his self control to keep his hands resting at her waist instead of sliding down to cup her ass. She was so soft against him, so warm. His need of this woman in his arms was everlasting. Never would he let her go.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

“Oh Zack,” Alice coos finally looking up at me.

I finally snap out of it. “Twins,” I whisper.

“Girls!” Alice squeals.

“Twin girls,” I mumble, a grin slowly forming on my face. I look down and kiss Alice. “They’ll be as beautiful as their mother,” I wink.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

- ° End Flashback ° -

That didn’t help. I take a deep breath. I don’t hold back the tears but I hold in my sobs.

I don’t acknowledge the hand being placed on my shoulder, a gesture of comfort.

I don’t hear the priest words.

I don’t hear anybody else’s crying.

But I feel the breeze blow over my skin, and with it comes the sweet beautiful laughter of my Alice.

I may be crazy but I close my eyes and get lost in it.

Fuck that till death due us part. Alice was my life and will be forever. I know she’s waiting for me in the afterlife. A few times that thought crosses my mind, I think of ending my life and joining her again. To kiss her lips. Hold her in my arms. Make magnificent love to her again.

But she’d hate me if I did.

I have to stay here till it’s my time. I have two daughters that are counting on me. Their bedtime stories will be of how beautiful and wonderful a mother they had. Pictures will cover the walls so they always know her face. They’ll learn to play any of her instruments and be just as amazingly talented as she was.

No… I have to stay with Angel and Natasha.

‘Watch over us Alice,’I pray. ‘I can’t do this by myself if you’re not there… in sprit and in my heart.’

Another breeze blows by and for a moment I can almost feel her lips on the corner of mouth.

‘I love you Alice. Always and forever. Wait for me, baby.’