Poker Face

“So Valentine’s day is comin’ up,” June mumbled, looking at me over her cup of hot chocolate.

“Yeah, an’ yer point is?” I responded dryly.

“Are yea an’ Olleh gunna do anythin’?” She grinned at me.

“Why, are yeh an’ Curty-poo hopin’ for a double date or sommat?” I said snidely.

“She means are yea an’ Olleh actually gunna have sex?” Carrie sighed.

“Though a double date would be good too; cause yea two dun do anythin’ an’ yea dun do other people neither. Yea jus’ ‘ang out an’ ‘old ‘ands, it’s disgustin’,”

“Sod off yeah?” I snapped.

“’ow long ‘as it been since yea got laid?” June inquired.

“A month an’ some,”

“That’s all year! Do yea know ‘ow unlike yea that is?” June exclaimed.

“Please be quiet, my mum ‘as spies ‘ere yea know,” Kelsie hissed.

“We’re not talkin’ bout yea love,” June remarked.

“Trust meh, I’ll be grounded for yer sins,”

“You poor dear,” June cooed, taking Kelsie’s hand in hers and giving it a pat. “But seriously Dan, what are yea doin’ love?”

“We’re jus’ new at all this… crap,” I shrugged.

“Tha’s bull an’ yea know it,” June rolled her eyes, “Yer jus’ scared. Cause that boy would shag yea in front of ‘is mum if yea asked ‘im to,”

“’e would not, ‘ave yea met Carol?” I protested.

“’ave yea seen the way the boy looks at yea?” June scoffed.

“She’s got yea there,” Carrie said softly, Kelsie nodding in agreement.

“So I’m not allowed ta be afraid? ‘e really facies me, ‘e fancies me without ‘avin sex! I’m not used to tha’!”

“An’ we get to the root of it all,” June murmured, giving Carrie a knowing look.

“Okay, so this is an understandable fear, but really yea jus’ do what yea did with Mattie, ‘cept o’course it’ll be a bit different,” Carrie said, taking a hold of my hand much like June had done to Kelsie.

“It sounds easy, but we all know it aint,” Kelsie grabbed for my other hand, “But yea an’ Olleh are both new at this so jus’ remember to talk to each otha when things get rough,”

I glared at June as I realised this was all planned out, “This is yer idea aint it? Some kind of relationship intervention, is Olleh getting’ a similar deal?”

“’e’s only getting talked into actually askin’ yea out, so say yes when ‘e does,” She said slowly, matching my glare.

“I ‘ate yea,” I grumbled, pulling my hands back.

“Whatever yea say love,” June replied a smug look on her face as she raised her mug to her lips.

…

“Danielle, Oliver is ‘ere!” My mother called up the stairs.

I quickly put the bookmark in between the pages of my book and scanned my room before responding, “Send ‘im up, please,”

I heard his start up the stairs, “Leave the door open!” My mother hollered as an afterthought.

Oli snorted in laughter before he rushed into my bedroom, “Is she always like tha’?” He asked smirking lightly.

“No she’s not, it’s weird, she never said tha’ when it was Mattie or Curtis ova,”

“Cause she knows they aint near as sexy as me,” He boasted.

“What ever ‘elps yea sleep at night,” I shrugged, shooting a smirk at him.

He retaliated by sticking his tounge out at me, causing me to laugh at his childishness. “Oh Clockwork Orange,” He picked up my book and gave it a look over, “Tattered copy yea ‘ave ‘ere love,” He observed.

“I got it used,” I confessed, stretching out on my bed. He laid down beside me, the book forgotten, “So ‘ow can I ‘elp yea Oliver?” I asked.

“Well Danielle,” He began smiling wickedly, “I was wonderin’ if yea ‘ad any plans for Valentine’s Day?”

“Well I did ‘ave a full schedule of mischief planned, but if you ‘ave a better idea I could be persuaded to postpone that,” I sighed.

“Actually yer plan sounds way better than mine, may I join yea?” He asked after a moment of thought.

“Sure, I could use a companion,” I grinned.

“So what’s the mischief then?” He pried.

“’ave yea ever seen tha’ Little Rascals movie?” A devious look took over my face.

“Yeah, might ‘ave,” He nodded.

“Commence operation pay back,”