Legion Of Rockstars

Very little time seemed to pass by before Brian rose from his seat and walked over to the plane door. I took a deep, calming breath, telling myself that this was no different than our training. It was simple: jump out, wait a little bit, and then snap open your chute. If it doesn’t open, pull your reserve. If your reserve doesn’t open...well...no one can help you then. I shook that thought out of my head, looking up as Brian unlocked the door and it fell open, revealing the empty expanse of sky above, below, and all around us.

Pink confidently walked over and stood on the opposite side of the door. Brian peered down at his watch, his lips moving as he counted silently in his head. He looked up and made a waving motion with his hand, and without hesitation, Pink leaped out of the plane and disappeared into the whistling emptiness.

“Follow her lead,” Brian instructed Matt and me. He motioned for Matt to leap out, and a few seconds after Matt went, for me to go. I took one last deep breath before flinging myself out into the sky like I’d been taught. I dropped like a rock instead of soaring like a bird as gravity worked wonders on my body. Below me, I saw the two black lines that I knew were Pink and Matt. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Brian drop out of the plane behind me. Falling was the easy part; at least, that was what our instructor told us.

After waiting the allotted time, I reached up and pulled on the neon orange handle at my shoulder. My parachute unfurled instantly, jerking me upward several stories as it caught air. The whistling in my ears faded to a dull roar as my descent towards Earth slowed. The venue roof soon came into my vision, and I pulled on my steering handles to direct myself towards it. Probably, landing on the roof was the most crucial part of the mission. If that didn’t happen, well, you were screwed and probably kicked out of the Legion.

You can understand my breath of relief, then, when my feet touched down onto the concrete ceiling of the concert hall. I jogged forward several feet to make up for my momentum so I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. My parachute fell lifelessly down beside me, crumpling against the concrete like a collapsed kite. I shrugged the backpack off of my shoulders as Brian alighted a few yards to the right of me.

Once Brian shrugged off his parachute, we jogged over to where Pink and Matt crouched down next to the specified air vent the blueprint pointed out. They appeared to be discussing how to get into the vent, since there was a small grate lying across it.

“Oh, I know,” Matt said, straightening up. The three of us watched on as he raised one booted foot and slammed the sole of it into the grate. With a resounding crash, the grate broke away from the side of the vent opening and dropped down into the metal chute below, bouncing against the metal like a quarter when you flick it between your fingers on a table.

“Primitive, but effective,” Pink commented as we all looked down into the metal chute. She raised her leg up over the side of the vent and gently slid down into the chute. Matt quickly followed suit, and then I climbed in, leaving Brian to bring up the rear.

It was cramped and stifling inside the metal chute. We all had to crawl on our hands and knees, and even then our backs scraped along the top of the square box we climbed through. Pretty soon, droplets of sweat began to form all over my face, and my ankle began to itch. I didn’t have the room to reach around and scratch at it, though, much to my annoyance. We crawled along silently for the most part, pausing every once in a while at an intersection of vents so Pink could study the blueprint layout.

As we continued to crawl, Brian asked, probably to just lighten the mood, “Asher, has anyone ever told you how cute of a butt you have?”

“Not now, Brian!” Pink and I both yell-whispered while Matt chuckled underneath his breath.

Finally, we reached the vent we were looking for. It dropped down into the area right next to the stage. We all grouped around it, looking down to see a few Jonas henchman—big, bulky guys that looked like night club bouncers—patrolling the immediate area. Pink sat down and raised one of her feet above the vent. She counted to three on her fingers before slamming her foot down into the grate. It broke away, crashing down right onto a henchman’s big bald head.

He cried out and brushed it away, glaring straight up at the four of us peering back down at him. Before he could do anything further, I slid my body out of the vent, landing right on his shoulders. His legs collapsed beneath my weight, sending us both to the ground. I forced myself to concentrate and focus; if I panicked, it could end very badly. Organization was key, as our instructor liked to repeat.

Another henchman grabbed me underneath my armpits and lifted me off of his buddy, turning and throwing me right into another henchman. The other henchman fell down as I hit him, and I scrambled around and punched him hard, one time, right on the temple. His eyelids flickered close, and I launched to my feet and turned to the next henchman coming at me.

By then, everyone else had dropped down to help. The henchman I was up against just smirked at the sight of a petite little woman in blue jeans and a tank top acting like she was about to kick his ass. What he didn’t know, was that I really was going to kick his ass. I launched myself at him, acting like I was going to punch him on the jaw. As he moved to block my punch, I rose up a knee and hit him, hard, right in his crotch. He made a muffled noise of discomfort and clutched himself, leaving himself open to attack. He’d also hunched over a little bit, so I took a step back and swung my leg around, catching him right in the neck with my heel with a well-placed roundhouse kick. He fell to the ground, unmoving.

When I looked up, it was to see all of the henchmen that tried to attack us lying on the ground groaning, unconscious, or crying for their mothers. I took some sort of strange, sick pride in knowing I’d taken down two of these oversized pansies. Pink, Matt, and Brian were all standing in combat stances exactly like I was, ready to take down the next person who rushed at us. We all relaxed as they realized the same thing I did: that the fight was finished.

“And they’ve fled,” Pink sighed, looking over at the stage to find it empty. She grabbed a spare microphone and stepped out onto the stage. Brian pulled out his iPod and a few cords and knelt behind a set of speakers. I figured he was hooking the iPod to the speakers to help the innocent people in the crowd recover.

Cheers erupted as Pink stepped out on stage. Finally, the crowd saw someone they recognized and adored.

“Everyone, please remain calm,” Pink said. “I know it’s been a tough day, and you’ll be able to get on your way soon enough. Don’t worry; we’ll make you feel better and get your tickets refunded. Just relax, take a few deep breaths, and don’t panic: it’s all over now.”

“You two did great,” Brian said towards Matt and I as Pink continued to sooth the crowd. “It was a difficult first mission, but you guys passed with flying colors. Congratulations.”

Matt and I smiled at each other as Brian went back to his work. We really had done well. And, even better, I really liked this Legion agent gig.