Legion Of Rockstars

I heaved a heavy sigh when I felt my body yanked back as Jimmy unexpectedly stopped, once again, for the fifth time since we left the cherry red Ferrari on the trail and headed into the trees on foot. We’d been rushing through the forest with our hands linked, and every time Jimmy stopped unexpectedly, my shoulder was practically wrenched nearly out of its socket. I turned around to find him leaning against a tree, swiping his forehead across the sleeve of his shirt. His chest rose and fell rapidly with his heavy breathing, but Patient Asher hadn’t decided to show up yet that day.

“Jimmy, we really have no time for rest stops,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “Every minute we waste—”

“The more time the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus have to find out how much of a fraud pop clone you were and start building their defenses back up,” Jimmy finished in a flat monotone, his blue eyes meeting mine. I blushed slightly—I’d obviously repeated the phrase a bit too much over the past twenty minutes or so.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy,” I answered, throwing my arms briefly over my head in exasperation, mainly at myself. “I understand that you’re a little fatigued and hungry right now. I shouldn’t be pushing you.”

“It’s fine,” Jimmy mumbled, shoving himself away from the tree. “We’re almost there anyway: look.” He pointed over my head, and I looked around to see the black mouth of the cave peeking through the cracks between the leaves. He slipped his hand into mine and started to pull me through the trees towards the cave.

“I’ve heard of the buddy system, but this is just ridiculous,” I snapped, running my palm against the cool cave wall as Jimmy and I walked through the dark intestines of the cave, hand in hand. Before Jimmy could reply, I walked right into another cold cave wall. I took a surprised step forward, cupping my forehead in surprise.

“Good call, Asher,” Jimmy said happily, realizing what I’d just done. “You found the back of the cave!”

“Now, if I can just find the dratted light spot,” I grumbled, letting go of Jimmy’s hand so I could run both hands over the cave wall in front of me. I eventually hit the right spot, because loud rumbling a bit like thunder suddenly filled the cavernous cave. Jimmy and I both squinted as the cave wall slid away to reveal the long, brightly-lit, metal-lined hallway.

We hurried down the corridor, and after what felt like forever, we finally reached the end. Jimmy looked on in amusement as I jumped impatiently up and down on the slab of floor, trying to make the chute open faster.

I looked over at him, huffing out a breath that blew my bangs briefly from my face. “It’s not—” I began, when suddenly the floor dropped open. I caught a sliver of Jimmy’s smirk before we both got sucked down the chute.

The cool breeze felt refreshing against my face. Where rocker people over-obsess and put too much eyeliner on, pop clones sure like their foundation. I remember when Miley first showed me how “normal people”, as she called herself, put make-up on, she used half the container of foundation on one cheek pretty much. Now, it felt like I wore a mask over my real face, and I wanted nothing more than to return to my room and scrub my face until all traces of pop-clone-dom and foundation were gone.

“Damn, I miss this place,” Jimmy said as we stood up in the lobby, straightening out our clothes and soaking in the fact that we were, indeed, back inside Headquarters once more. I looked around the all-white lobby, feeling at home once again. I hadn’t realized how amazing this place made me feel until I was no longer inside it. I fit in here. No one would judge me here. No one would make snide comments about my hair, or the way I dress, or the way my eyeliner makes me look like a raccoon, because everyone here looks that way.

“It’s good to be home,” I agreed as we made our way towards an elevator. And really, Headquarters felt more like home to me now than my actual home ever did.

“Is that—?”

“Is that really—?”

“It really is!”

Several people stopped and whispered to their neighbor as Jimmy and I hurried down the recreational hallway towards the directors’ offices. We’d been gone for about a week; of course the news of our kidnapping spread like wildfire, especially in a place full of gossiping rockstars. No doubt the scene of the kidnapping had been looked over and investigated and photographed and documented carefully in an attempt to find our kidnapper. Now, out of nowhere, we were back, Jimmy with big bruise-like bags under his eyes and looking thinner and gaunter than usual, and me in my pop outfit with gallons of foundation and zero eyeliner on my face.

We burst into Joan’s office without even bothering to knock. She raised her head from her work, opening her mouth to rile about disrespect and learning how to knock, but her jaw only unhinged further as her gaze fell upon us. She launched to her feet, her eyes flickering first over Jimmy’s tired appearance and then my pop clone, foundation-covered, who-are-you-and-where-is-Asher appearance.

“Wh—How—I—Asher, you’re wearing pink!” Joan sputtered, pointing at my outfit. I sighed and nodded. “How did this happen? What has happened? Where were you?”

“Please, allow me to explain,” I said. Joan nodded and perched herself behind her desk once more, calming herself down so she could listen. Once she gave me her full attention once again, I continued with my tale.

As I told basically the same story I’d told Jimmy, Joan’s shock quickly transformed into happiness. She listened with rapt attention, a small smile forming on her lips as I told her about how I’d turned the Jonas/Cyrus Operation in upon itself. Once I finished, she looked instantly thoughtful, her gaze flicking between me and Jimmy.

“Thank you, both of you,” Joan said after a few moments. “I’ll make some calls, see what I can get done as soon as possible about this new opportunity. I want the two of you to rest...and Asher, please change into something more sensible. It makes me twitch just looking at you. As for you, Jimmy, relax for today. Eat a good meal and catch up on sleep. Lord knows you deserve and need it.”

Jimmy and I nodded before turning to walk out of her office. Even before we’d closed the door, Joan was already speaking with someone on her phone.

~~~~~

Amy was the first to notice us as we walked into the large, diner-like cafeteria half an hour later. Jimmy had taken a short shower before taking a short nap on my bed. I’d washed the foundation off my face and changed into something much more comfortable. Then, we both decided to head off to the cafeteria, figuring we might have the highest chance of finding our friends there.

Upon seeing us, Amy shrieked and launched to her feet, sprinting across the cafeteria in record time before slamming hard against me, hard enough that I toppled over onto the polished tile floor.

“You’re back! You’re back! I’ve missed you so much!” Amy screamed in my ear, causing everyone in the cafeteria to look around at us. She wrapped her arms so tightly around my neck I couldn’t breath, but I didn’t have the heart to make her let go. I think my face had begun to turn blue before Jimmy intervened.

“Amy, do you really think after all she’s been through, that she escaped just to be strangled to death by her best friend?” Jimmy asked. Amy made a face at him, but gave an embarrassed little squeak when she saw that she had been strangling me.

“Look! Look! They’re back!” Amy screamed instead, dragging me swiftly to my feet and pulling me across the cafeteria to where the rest of the Avenged guys sat with identical amused expressions on their faces. Jimmy followed bemusedly after, seating himself in an empty seat at the table as Amy dragged me around to where I sat between her and Brian.

“Tell us everything,” Zacky demanded, looking around at Jimmy. Jimmy just smiled before shaking his head and pointing across the table at me.

“I only know about a quarter of what really happened,” he said. “Asher’s the one who did everything. I just kind of sat there and thought.”

“Tell us everything,” Zacky repeated, looking from Jimmy to me. Everyone followed his lead and I sighed before launching into my story for the third time that day.

“Wow, that was a good call on your part,” Matt said in slight awe once I finished. I shrugged modestly. I hadn’t done anything for the glory, or the praise; I did it to save Jimmy, and also myself, from the onslaught of pop clones. Crumbling their organization in upon itself was just an added bonus.

“Were you ever scared?” Amy asked, leaning forward slightly with a concerned look on her face.

“Terrified,” I corrected. “I had to constantly be on my guard. I couldn’t let my acting slip for one moment, or everything could’ve fallen out from beneath me. I had to keep Miley and the Jonas Brothers convinced that I was just like one of them.”

“Was it disgusting, acting like a pop clone?” Zacky asked.

“Yes,” I answered with an internal shiver at the memory. “I think I’ve worn enough foundation and pink in the past week to last a lifetime.”

“And what’s this about torturing Jimmy?” Johnny said, furrowing his eyebrows as he frowned. “I bet he liked it, didn’t he?”

“No, I’m pretty sure he hated my guts,” I admitted with a small laugh. “I couldn’t let him know what my real plan was; they were constantly watching.”

“She convinced me pretty well that she’d gone to the dark side,” Jimmy said.

“They do not have cookies, either,” I pouted. Everyone smiled, and Matt leaned over to peck Amy on the cheek. “Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here!?” I exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the two of them. “Are you...?”

“Yes, we are an item,” Amy answered with an eye roll.

“We’ve been gone a week, and I bet you’ve already gotten to third base,” I exclaimed. Matt and Amy exchanged a smirk.

“Home plate, actually,” Matt said with a wink.

“I’m not going to ask what that is,” I decided, rubbing my face at the awkward mental images sprouting up in my head.

“I think that’s for the best,” Brian said with a knowing nod.