I Cried Out With No Reply
Day 2.
August 24
I have seen this damn book sitting over on the floor for a week now. I finally decided that I will give it a try and keep up with it. How hard can it be to write a few sentences a day? Hell, maybe it will even make me feel better. But I say that now, while I am in a less crappy mood. Later I might want to burn this notebook. Until then though, I will suffice.
I guess now I will talk about my day.
Today I went school shopping with my dad since school starts tomorrow. While in staples I saw this one guy. They way I felt when I looked at him scared the shit out of me. I don't even really want to think about it, but I guess it won't hurt to analyze. He was wearing this dark gray and blue plaid shirt with skinny jeans. I wanted to attack him and press my lips against his with a burning passion. Then when I looked away, I mentally slapped myself for thinking those thoughts. See, about a year ago, I started doubting if I was straight or not. I still am battling to see what my real sexual preference is. It has been a while since I have seen a girl I want to bang. On the other hand, I have seen plenty of guys I want to get in bed with. Like that guy at Staples today.
I can't believe I just wrote that down. On paper. In pen. Where it will be forever.
But it's true! I hate feeling the way I do around certain guys. But I am not gay. I don't want to be. Gays are shunned and beaten. I don't want to be an outcast, even more that I already am. Its not like anyone will ever find out. I never talk to anyone about anything.
Well I feel a little bit better writing stuff down, but now I am stuck thinking about all this shit I try to avoid.
Kayden closed the book and set the pen on top of it. He walked over to his bed and lied down. He closed his eyes and began to think. He started thinking about his sexualty, but soon his thoughts turned back to the boy at Staples. He thought about his short wavy hair and glasses.
And then he started to think about him more. The way his pants fit his rear. The size of the bulge in the front. His toned arms and his flawless face.
The more he thought about him, the more his penis began to harden. Eventually it was getting too painful so Kayden had to unzip his jeans. He grabbed his member and began to stroke softly, and then harder.
His strokes became erratic and fast. There was no way he could stop now. The pleasure was too intense. He continued rubbing, paying more attention to the reddening head. With one last beat, Kayden came across his stomach.
After a moment, Kayden regained his breathing and came to his senses. He ran over to his desk and opened the book.
I just jacked off to the thought of a guy I don't even know, or ever talked to.
And I liked it. I liked it a lot.
I have seen this damn book sitting over on the floor for a week now. I finally decided that I will give it a try and keep up with it. How hard can it be to write a few sentences a day? Hell, maybe it will even make me feel better. But I say that now, while I am in a less crappy mood. Later I might want to burn this notebook. Until then though, I will suffice.
I guess now I will talk about my day.
Today I went school shopping with my dad since school starts tomorrow. While in staples I saw this one guy. They way I felt when I looked at him scared the shit out of me. I don't even really want to think about it, but I guess it won't hurt to analyze. He was wearing this dark gray and blue plaid shirt with skinny jeans. I wanted to attack him and press my lips against his with a burning passion. Then when I looked away, I mentally slapped myself for thinking those thoughts. See, about a year ago, I started doubting if I was straight or not. I still am battling to see what my real sexual preference is. It has been a while since I have seen a girl I want to bang. On the other hand, I have seen plenty of guys I want to get in bed with. Like that guy at Staples today.
I can't believe I just wrote that down. On paper. In pen. Where it will be forever.
But it's true! I hate feeling the way I do around certain guys. But I am not gay. I don't want to be. Gays are shunned and beaten. I don't want to be an outcast, even more that I already am. Its not like anyone will ever find out. I never talk to anyone about anything.
Well I feel a little bit better writing stuff down, but now I am stuck thinking about all this shit I try to avoid.
Kayden closed the book and set the pen on top of it. He walked over to his bed and lied down. He closed his eyes and began to think. He started thinking about his sexualty, but soon his thoughts turned back to the boy at Staples. He thought about his short wavy hair and glasses.
And then he started to think about him more. The way his pants fit his rear. The size of the bulge in the front. His toned arms and his flawless face.
The more he thought about him, the more his penis began to harden. Eventually it was getting too painful so Kayden had to unzip his jeans. He grabbed his member and began to stroke softly, and then harder.
His strokes became erratic and fast. There was no way he could stop now. The pleasure was too intense. He continued rubbing, paying more attention to the reddening head. With one last beat, Kayden came across his stomach.
After a moment, Kayden regained his breathing and came to his senses. He ran over to his desk and opened the book.
I just jacked off to the thought of a guy I don't even know, or ever talked to.
And I liked it. I liked it a lot.
♠ ♠ ♠
Well here is a bit of a erotic chapter. I was having problems thinking of something to fill the time between his first entry and his first day of school.So this came to my mind.
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