London Calling

About five minutes earlier (around the time the guitarists went crashing into the coffee table), in Matt, Jimmy and Johnny’s suite...

In unison, the three men opened their doors and walked out of their bedrooms, looking like death warmed up. Hair pointing in every direction possible, eyes barely open, shuffling out into the hall towards the source of the noise. For such a posh hotel, the walls were unbelievably thin.

“They better be killing each other,” Jim began to mumble. “I really don’t want to have to deal with the fact that they woke us because they were fucking each other.

“I know what you mean,” Johnny yawned. “I am so not in the mood to see butt sex right now.”

“Shut it you two.” Matt chuckled as he opened the door only find the last thing they wanted to see at that very moment.

Now more awake then they ever wanted to be, they stood wide-eyed as they watched their rhythm guitarist wrap his mouth around their lead’s cock, and start sucking like a pro.

“Oh sweet Jesus!” Matt yelled, genuinely upset and confused at what he saw before him. He really didn’t need this at whatever stupid hour of the morning it happened to be.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Zacky mumbled around Brian’s cock. He couldn’t believe they were being interrupted again.

“You shouldn’t speak with your mouth full” Johnny managed to get out through hysterical laughter.

“It’s like walking in your parents having sex.” Jimmy cried steadying himself on the doorframe so he didn’t faint from the shock.

“How?” Matt cried, still really confused and not making any attempt to make sense of the situation.

Jimmy simply shrugged, he didn’t know where it came from either but it had seemed appropriate at the time.

“Moment ruined.” Brain screamed as he sat up arranged his boxers so he wasn’t in the open so much.

Feeling well and truly disgusted Matt eased the door closed and the three men shuffled back to bed without uttering a word, but all thinking. ‘Those two are going to pay for this in the morning!’

Zack and Brian looked at each other for a while before they started laughing. They didn’t really know why but it was filling the awkward silence that had filled the room after their band mates left.

“Shall we call it a night?” Zack sighed resting his head on Brian’s thigh.

“I think that might be for the best.”

The two men walked back to their rooms in silence, nodded a silent ‘goodnight’, and as they closed, their bedroom doors thought. ‘Those three are going to pay for this in the morning!”

It was safe to say, no member of Avenged Sevenfold got much sleep that night.

Around 10am the next morning, (about an hour after they all actually fell asleep).

All five sat at the end of their beds, tired and pissed off, thinking about how they could get back at one another for keeping them up. Knowing that they had a common goal, Matt, Jimmy and Johnny tried to come up with a plan over very strong coffee, but to no success.

“It’s no use, my brain doesn’t work.” Jimmy groaned, trying to gulp down his coffee as fast as possible without burning his mouth.

“Your brain only works when you’re drunk.” Matt quickly pointed out.

“Good point!” Jimmy yelled. He disappeared into his room, reappearing moments later with a bottle of whiskey.

“Dude, you can’t be serious? It’s still morning!” Matt questioned, while poking Johnny who had now fallen asleep on the sofa.

“Might as well start as I mean to go on,” He started, pouring the whiskey into his coffee. “If I’m going to come up with a good plan, being this sober and hungover isn’t going to help.”

“Well you might as well eat something.” Looking at his watch and realising that breakfast was over he moved to the phone to order room service. “So what do you want?”

“PIZZA!” Johnny jumped up and screamed, with no notice to anyone, especially himself. “OWWW!” His head not appreciating the sudden noise and movement.

“Go back to sleep, munchkin!” Jimmy chuckled, feeling a lot more awake as he had given up with his coffee and was drinking his whiskey straight out of the bottle.

Johnny did not argue making incoherent noises as he fell asleep again.

“So what do we do?” Matt asked after finally deciding what to order for breakfast.

“No idea, but they are going to be mighty pissed for interrupting them. Twice.

“Oh God Zacky is going to be hell. He hasn’t got laid in ages and just when he about to, with Bri of all people, we interrupt.”

“There’s not much point in us trying to get back at them, is there?”

“No way, the diva is going to throw a fit!”

“Here take this.” Jimmy handed the bottle of whiskey to Matt. “You’re going to need this.”

“Fuck it!” Matt said before gulping down a few shots worth of booze.

“This is going to be a long day.”

“Mummy I don’t want to go to school! I want to stay and bake cookies with you” Johnny mumbled in his sleep before he started snoring.

The two men exchanged looks and sighed deeply.